Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin

Isn't today IMCRD?

'Cause if it is -clears throat- HAPPY IMCRD!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is so hard for me to admit, I mean, really hard. Like, I'm even getting emotionaly just thinking about what I'm going to say. It's been so hard these last fews months and it was my only way to cope with things. It's...it's not so totally bad. It's not like it's going to kill me...well, maybe. -breathes in through the nose and out through the mouth- I can do this, I can totally do this.

Okay. I, Brandy, am a twitterholic. I've been tweeting for months now and I can't seem to stop. I mean, I have total control of everything in my life like homework and school and stuff, but, I keep tweeting, almost everyday. And for two days, I've been without internet and the first thing I did when I got home was tweet (well AFTER I checked my emails because I had so many conversations with my friends on email that I needed to catch up on) and I'm even tweeting right now, like, I have a second tab open...hold on, I think someone replied to me, hold on...

Okay, I'm back. Anyways, it's like a drug! Like....like herion or cocaine or one of those kinds of drugs, though I think it might relate more to pot, though I have never tried drugs before, so I'm not completely sure....Ugh, I keep getting off track! Anyways, yeah, it's really addicting. I think I might need to go to twitterholics anonymous. I don't know. Does it even exist?

Usually, I'm not one to dwell on the past. Usually, the past jumps me in my sleep and pollutes my mind. I don't understand most of the things that went on back then, but what I do understand is A.) He left us because he didn't want to see us and B.) He left us with a monster and C.) He doesn't seem to care.

What I don't understand is why he'd tryto talk to us again after sixteen years. Yes, we found him and yes, we were the ones who called him. Both my sister and I were so excited that we were finally going to talk to our real dad and really see who he was. Boy were we surprised when we found out he was still a drunk. You know what the funny thing is? He said that he was looking for us too but he thought we had a different last name. Yeah, right. You know why I don't believe him? Because if he wanted to be in our lives, he wouldn't have left us. And when we found him, he could have just told us the truth instead of getting our hopes up.

Luckily for me, I figured him out on the thrid phone call when he was drunk off his ass. Of course, my sister didn't hear what I heard, she didn't understand anything. She didn't understand anything until my mom told her the cold hard truth. And one day before my sister left to go to the Navy boot camp, she called him and asked him why he left us. And his exact words were, "Well, your mother moved to a different state and I was travelling a lot {LIE} and I didn't want to spend the money to see you kids, so I just gave up my rights." Of course, he was drunk, and he's drunk all the time.

My sister decided that she didn't want anything to do with him anymore. I decided that years ago. But, that does bring up a question of who my true father is. Well, the first one was a dud. He never wanted us and he never cared for us. So, he's not my father, even though we share the same blood. The second one was a monster. Any father who beats his kids on a daily basis is NOT a father. But, my mom's boyfriend, who is undeniabley awesome and truly kind, could be my father. But, I figure, if I could get through sixteen years without one, why start over again? I don't need a father in my life. Though I really like my mom's boyfriend, I don't see myself ever really having one because I never did. It sucks that I never had a good dad, but it's not my fault. And if I can get through the first sixteen years of my life without one, why can't I just live my whole life without one?

Holy fuck.

I haven't really been active that much on here. I just realized that, OMG.

I guess I've just been busy with summer school AND I'm writing a novel too O.O

Sooo....how has everyone been?

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

I don't know why, but the internet has been depressing me these last couple of days. Like, I want to go online, but then I get depressed. Maybe I should go somewhere fun this weekend...?

Some chick on imeem keeps messaging me saying I'm a "fake" because my name is Brandy Way, and so is hers. She said, and I quote: "Look. I fucking hate fakes. Especially when I have to scourage the internet to find them. BrandyWay is fucking trademarked and copyrighted to me, okay? And if you say; "OH MY NAME'S BRANDY BLAH BLAH BLAH." Sure. Whatever. And we just so happen to have he SAME fucking name. The SAME god damn celebrity lust. The SAME interests and music tastes.... yeah. right.
> > Go fuck yourself and stop faking people."

I replied back, calmly, "I'm not faking anyone. That is truly my name. And if you message me again like this, I'll have to report you. I'm sorry if you're mad that you and I have the same name, but it doesn't mean that I'm "faking" you.
> Please do not message me again.
> Thank You."

I don't understand how one persons name can be trademarked to them when many people across the world have that same exact name. And just because I "lust" after Mikey doesn't mean that that is not my last name. And if she really wanted to get into it, I could ask her why then she is trademarking Mikey and Gerard's last name.

I really don't get these people. Honestly, it gets on my nerves that people mess age me like that on the internet because of my name. I can't help what my name is, unless I get it changed when I'm an adult WHICH I INTEND ON DOING. It really pisses me off, you know? There are a lot of other Brandy Way's on the internet. Not just me. Why not pick on them either? I mean seriously? What did I do besides get born into a name? Not my fault.

*sigh* Sorry for the rant. I just get so angry when people do that, you know what I'm saying?

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

While everyone is caught up in the tragic death of Michael Jackson, I thought that I'd give tribute to the beautiful and ever inspiring, Farrah Fawcett.

Farrah Fawcett, our own Charlie's Angel, was a true fighter. She fought to live long and to live a beautiful life like she had before she was diagnosed with cancer. She was an inspirational woman and was so brave to film her battle with cancer. And even though many people expected her to die, it is still a shock to see such a big pop culture icon like her pass on.

RIP Farrah Fawcett

RIP Michael Jackson

and RIP Ed McMahon

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

I haven't really been active with posting on here in like 5 days. Sorry about that, I've just been uber busy. Write now, I'm writing a novel and that's what I've been busy with mostly. I've been writing character resumes and outlining the book itself and it's taking me so long. Hahaha. But anyways, I start Summer School this week. It goes on for six weeks, so it's not that bad and I heard that it's easy too, which is good. It's going to be hard these six weeks with trying to write Heart, my novel and summer school, but I'll manage.

Anyways, how has everyone been? Anyone else been cursed with summer school? ANyone going somewhere fun for vacation?

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

Sorry I took FOREVER to post this. I am such a procrastinater, who evidently has too much to do anyways. But, Finals are over though I do have to go to summer school but it's all cool. lol. So, here's the next chapter and there's not much going on in it, I'm just spreading it out if you get what I mean, lol.

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KITSCH:

It's been a whole two weeks since the water gun fight and Char is still pissed at Jimmy for bringing the hose into the house and basically soaking everything. Usually, it takes her a day to get over Jimmy's antics but he may have gone a smidge too far this time. Thank God he hasn't done anything serious since then or Charisma probably would've exploded.

It's six right now, in the morning to be more specific and we have yet another group. I hate getting up this early even though I was already used to it before I even came here. I always used to get up for football practice and to work out. Sometimes Lautner and I will get up early to do the same thing but ever since the mute came, well, he hasn't spent much time with the rest of us. I find it funny that the girl won't talk and yet Lautner says that she tells him a lot. Like, does she write it down on her fancy dry-erase board or does Lautner have some amazing mind-reading power that we don't know anything about?

Sometimes when Lautner and Darla aren't around (they're usually in the garden) everyone else would talk about them. It's not talking behind their back, really, it's just...weird. Most of us don't believe that anything has happened to Darla anyway, well, at least nothing that bad. I mean, how can someone get buried alive and still be here? It's impossible...basically. And we all always get this off feeling about her. She creeps me out, I know that.

And she's always carrying that backpack around...

MARISA:

Everybody is all ready seated in their normal spots for group. Kitsch and I both are seated on the recliner next to Charisma while Emily and Jimmy are seated at the end of the couch with Rain and Ryan in the middle and Maryjane and Frank in the end. Across from Em and Jimmy are Delfina and Steven with Paija and Gabe next to them. Lautner and Darla are sitting in the recliner parallel from Char. Are they dating? Because I think they're dating and so does everyone else mostly. I mean, they spend every second of the day together (Lautner does all of the talking) and he even has Darla in the workout room with him while he's working out. Like, he put on thirty pounds of muscle in these past two weeks alone with her. How is that even possible? He's just as buff as that one friend of Jimmy's -I think his name is Matt, but yeah.

Anyhoo, Mark is supposed to come tomorrow and meet up with us and check up on things. He's been so busy with NCIS, so instead of coming every two weeks, he comes every month. I think it's going to be fun though because Mark is so awesome and even though he has gray hair, he's still pretty gorgeous. I wonder what he'll think of Darla when he sees her. Mark usually likes to talk to us and get a response back that doesn't take a minute to write down on a marker board.

I looked up at Lautner and Darla and find that nothing has changed with them. She's sitting next to him, with her legs thrown over his, looking so innocent and sweet while Lautner is all muscles, with his arm around her shoulders, looking so protective over her, it's not even funny. He barely even talks to us anymore, it's so weird.

"Good morning," Charisma said in her usual cheery voice; causing me to focus on her. "How are you guys?"

There were a few mumbles of "Good" or "Tired" in response to her question. Char rolled her eyes and quickly looked down at her clipboard, probably doing something teacher-like like roll or something.

"Well, you all know that Mark will be here tomorrow for the whole day, even group, and I'm not going to be all boring and go over rules and stuff. Not," she said, "that you don't need to follow the rules, because you do but I'm pretty sure you all know the rules by now. Anyway, for group today, I thought we would spend the hour writing a story."

"A story? But what if you're not a good writer?" Ryan asked, looking down at his hands.

"Ryan, you know as well as I do that you're a kick ass writer. But, for others who may not be, it's okay. Not everyone is good at writing a story."

Steven shifted in his seat and shifted Del along with him. "What does it have to be about?" He asked logically.

Charisma thought for a moment and quickly scribbled something down on her clipboard. "Well anything really. It can be about something you went through or a make believe story about elves making cookies or something." Char shrugged her shoulders for some reason before she took out fourteen notebooks and pens for each of us.

"Can we write a song? You know, a mini-story but with a tune?" Frank asked in a groggy voice. Instead of saying anything, Charisma just nodded and wrote something else down on her clipboard. I heard Ryan, Gabe, and Jimmy all go "Yes" under their breath while almost everyone else looked too tired to care. Well, everyone except Darla. She's already scribbling in the journal with Lautner watching her. Are they passing notes?

LAUTNER:

I've always been watching Darla write ever since she came here. Her hand-writing is so neat and she speaks perfect English. That's why when Charisma said we were going to write stories, she grinned. She was even more excited when Charisma said it could be about anything. I watched her scribble down the title and the first line of her story on the paper. "A Faeries Boon," it was called and I could only wonder what exactly it's going to be about.

"How long does the story have to be?" Kitsch asked as Marisa moved off of his lap so he could write. Charisma shrugged.

"Well, we're not going to present them today, so I guess it doesn't really matter." She bent her head over her clipboard again and started writing, yet again. Ever since that water gun fight they had two weeks ago, Charisma has been acting very strange.

"Well, when are we going to present them?" Delfina asked.

"Tomorrow." Char got up from her seat and beckoned Amy to her. They talked quietly for a moment before Amy took her spot on the recliner.

Suddenly, I felt a small tap on my shoulder and saw a white board with neat hand-writing in my face.

Aren't you going to write your story? It said. I smiled and shook my head at Darla. She raised her eyebrows.

"Not now," I told her. "I don't want to write it right now." She nodded her head, making her red curls bounce around her face. I can't help to wonder why she only communicates with me. I know it's a strange and random thought, but I've noticed that she only writes to me and not to anyone else. She barely even smiles at anyone else, which is odd because her whole face lights up when she smiles and that's only when we're together. I know there's basically nothing special about me. Or maybe it's because I've been nice to her ever since she came here. Not a lot of the others are very nice to her, which is odd too. Everyone is usually so nice, but not since Darla came here.

A few times during these last couple of weeks I heard everyone talk about Darla and I behind our backs. Mostly, they said mean things about Darla saying that's she's "creepy" and nothing happened to her. It pisses me off so much. They just don't understand her like I do. They don't understand me anymore either.

Finally the hour flew by and everyone left to go wherever it is they're going to go. I think Gabe and Paija are going back to the Jolly Trolley again. They've been going there every weekend and Paija always comes back with a new stuffed animal.

This time I tapped Darla on the shoulder and watched her look up at me through her long eyelashes. That alone was enough to make me smile at her. "I'm going to go workout," I said. "Do you wanna come with me?" Like I had expected, she nodded her head and smiled.

STEVEN:

Delfina and I went to the work out room after group today. She said that she wanted to watch me work out for some reason. Either it's because I look that good with my shirt off and sweaty or she's genuinely curious to see me work out, which is odd. Then again, Del is a little odd but that's what I mostly love about her. Her odd-ness.

I started off lifting weights, as usual, when Lautner and Miss Mute came in. Del and I caught the end of their conversation, or shall I say Lautner's conversation since he's the only one that talks.

"Maybe if you start warming up to them or talking or something, they won't be so...oh, hi guys. I didn't know anyone was in here." He said with Darla peering out from his protective arm. That girl is very creepy in her own, unique way. Lautner stood awkwardly at the door for a moment before he took mute girl's hand and led her to the treadmill. Del and I watched her write something on her board and Lautner grinned.

"I just felt like running today, that's why." He turned on the treadmill and started off with walking first, like he usually would.

Darla walked to the other side of the machine and sat next to Delfina. The weights and the treadmill are right next to each other so it didn't really seem odd. Lautner looked at Darla with a strange curiosity and smiled. I didn't really know why he smiled until I saw what the mute wrote on her board.

You should be an actor. It said. Lautner laughed and shook his head.

"Why do you think that?" He asked.

It took her a moment to write whatever it was down on the board.

Because you look like you should be an actor. Delfina smiled and laughed silently, looking up at me with her gorgeous brown eyes. She looked back at Darla who had written something else on that board of hers. She erased it before I could read it but Lautner's reply kind of gave whatever it was she wrote on it away.

"I don't really mind girls chasing after me," he said. "But they wouldn't the ones I want." Mute raised her eyebrows. Lautner smirked. "The only one I want chasing after me is you. And that really wouldn't be much of a chase since I'd probably just give myself to you."

"Awww, Lautner, that's so cute!" Delfina smiled and giggled a little before looking at me. "Why don't you ever say cute stuff like that to me?"

"I say cute stuff to you all the time," I set down the 15lbs weight and picked up the 25lbs. "He just says it in a cuter way than I do."

Del rolled her eyes at me but smirked. I could tell that she kind of felt a little awkward with Darla right next to her, not saying anything but just writing either on the white board or in the notebook that Charisma gave us. I haven't started my story yet, but I think I already know what it'll be about. A hard-headed guy who doesn't pay any attention or mind to anyone, until he met the beautiful, kind and smart girl that changed his world forever.

I think Delfina will like it.

I really am. And I really should post the 3rd chapter of Heart. But it will most likely be up by tonight because I still need to finish the last part and change a few things. At least finals are over. The only thing I have left to worry about is dear ol' summer school *mutters under breath*

As said by some random person who commented on my rant about Sofia and shit. I guess my "candy-coated drama" isn't all that exciting or worth it but it doesn't matter anyways. I actually hate drama and I guess I find comfort in writing my rants on here because all of you lovelies can understand the teenage drama that I go through because many of you have gone through it and still are going through it. Just because someone's "drama" doesn't seem important at the moment, it doesn't mean that someone else has to make a person feel bad about writing about it. You never know what other things that a person is going through besides the stuff they write about. You never know what a person is hiding underneath the mask they wear on a daily basis, even if you can't seem them in person, it doesn't mean that the mask doesn't exist on the internet as well.

What I'm trying to say right now is be respectful towards others. If someone says something bad to you, be the bigger person and ignore them and if they leave you a nasty message on the internet, delete it because it's not worth getting worked up over it. try to be courteous and respectful to other people even if their problems seem small and unimportant at the moment because you never know if that problem becomes to big for them to deal with.

Now that I'm finished with that, I must say that I'm sorry I haven't been on in two days. I had my sisters High School graduation on Wednesday and yesterday I saw Paramore, No Doubt and The Sounds in concert. I'll be updating Heart shortly, I just have to fix some glitches in my writing and I think I may have it up tomorrow or Sunday, it depends on how long i'm in the city tomorrow and when todays drama ends.

Anyhoosies, how are you guys? Anything new and exciting? Whatcha got planned for the summer? :)

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

Lol, how narcasstic is that?

Anyway, I have writers block AGAIN.

I really hate it, like, I know what to write, I just can't seem to get it down, you know?

UGH. Maybe it's because school ends this week and i have like a bajillion finals to study for and then I go to summer school in like a week or two and I'm stressing about that because it sucks majorly and yeah. *sigh*

I will bring thee "Heart" chp. 3 as soon as the pandemonium moves out of my mind.

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

So yeah, today at church, the windows were open and there was a cat outside meowing and all you could hear besides the pastor was the cat meowing. So, after service, my moms boyfriend comes up to me and goes:

"Hey, Brandy, woof woof woof woof woof." And I turned around to him and said,

"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't speak man." And I walked away and my mom was on the ground laughing her ass off.

And then, when we dropped him off at his house, he got out of the car and went to my moms window to say goodbye and I looked at him and said, "Woof woof. What does that translate into?" And my mom just died again. It was histarical.

But, I'm going to the June Fete today XD

I'm so excited. I haven't been there in years!

Hope you lovelies have a lovely rest of the weekend!

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥♥

Okay, here's the deal. Yesterday I totally like lost it in school and my mental state is kind of...off and today one of my guy friends asked me out today at lunch and like it's the worst time ever for me, you know? Like, I don't like him like that anymore. I haven't liked him like that in like three years and I like three other people that aren't him but one of the three I am really in like with them and my friend said not to wait for him, but I just can't not like wait, you know? Like, I'll probably give up by next year and I really don't want to break my friends heart. But I'm just not ready right now for it and I'm so confused. I don't know what to say because I never wanted to be the girl to break someone's heart, you know? Because, I'm overly sensitive to other peoples feelings and if they're sad, I'm sad. And UGH.

Help? Any advice?

As soon as things actually start to look up for me, there is always that one person (or today, two people) who have to bring everything the fuck down.

Okay, so today started off pretty good for a Tuesday (which are never good for me) even though I've been depressed lately because I miss one of my best friends who spends most of her time with her boyfriend. And up until fourth period, things were spiffy. Yeah, so at fourth period, after spending most of it at the library with Eryn printing out pictures, we go back to Cafe B and Sofia is there. And my reaction, as always, is YAY! And I'm so excited to see Sofia because I rarely get to see her anymore and have an actual conversation with her. So me and her start talking and I tell her about the nightmare I had about me and her not being friends and she said, "I'll always be your friend," but her facial expression looked so doubtful. And then I tell her that Gerard and LynZ had the baby and she starts making all of these comments like WTF? Usually, Sofia would watch what she says about MCR around me (not because I go psycho on anyone who hates them, but because I really care for the guys because they saved my life) and today she was like, "Oh, Deirdre and I hate them with a passion," and "Deirdre doesn't like them anymore because I got her into good music," and "Ew, Gerard is copying off of Kurt Cobain" (yeah, the last one made me look at her like WTF). And she's been so cocky and arrogant towards everyone since she starteddating her boyfriend. And at first, I thought they were so cute together but he's so possessive over her it's ot even funny. The only time I get to see her now is when he's not at school or when she feels guilty. I'm losing my best friend and it hurts so bad. I couldn't think straight all day because of it. I'm so used to seeing Sofia everyday and talking to her and telling her my problems ang getting advice from her and vice versa. Now, I just get a glimpse of her in the hallway. Sometimes a hello. I miss her so much but I know if they break up, that she's going to get hurt and I'll always be there for her, but I think I'm losing my trust in her and I might not be there all the way if she ever gets back, you know?

And then, oh and then, when I get home my sister starts drama. OVER A DAMN BOY.AGAIN. It pisses me off that she always picks the jackasses and then she goes "Oh, I'm so in love with him." When they've only been out on a few dates. And guess where my sister is now? At the hospital. Why? Because the asshole decides to get back with his ex (her ex-best friend) while they're still dating. She flipped and OD'd. She threw most of it back up but my mom called Poison Control and they told her to go to the hospital. Honestly, I'm fed pu with everything. This isn't good for me, my mom, my little sister, and anyone who dares to get too close to us (not that I'm horrible or a drama magnet even though I sometimes think I am). I just really can't wait till High School is over and I can move to Finland and live happily ever after.

Fuck. I can't even finish my fucking take home geometry test. Lucky for me I missed most of the stuff because I was sick or there were no days of school.

I'm in Chemistry right now on the school laptops. I finished the tutorial we took so I thought I'd say, "HI!!!!! How are you guys?"

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey

Here's the second chapter!!!

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EMILY:

            Steven pisses me off so much, it's not even funny. Though sometimes it actually is funny, but that's not the point. I often ask Delfina about what she sees in him and she just laughs and says that she loves everything about him that I hate. She likes his stubborn and impatient mouth. Don't get me wrong, Steven and I are friends and all but sometimes he just pisses me off so much that I just slap him in the back of the head. I do that constantly. Thank goodness that Jimmy is always there to distract me if I get too mad. Jimmy makes my life. He's always so crazy and fun and he always takes my mind off of things. He's always there when I need him. It's like I'm stranded at sea and he's that one naked guy on a speed boat riding by and he stops to help me. I can honestly say that one good thing came from this whole situation that landed me here and that one good thing is Jimmy.

            But I do wish that we met under different circumstances. Jimmy and I are the "odd couple" in our group of new friends for two reasons: 1.) we're both fucking crazy 2.) We both met before we ever came here. We went to the hospital together, shared the same hospital room, left together and came here together. We've been here for three months already and spent everyday here together. Hayley, the girl who volunteers here every week, says that it's a miracle that we found each other under such painful circumstances.

            I remember the day that I met Jimmy so clearly. My father was taking me to my aunt's house that day. And I really hate her, no lie. She acts exactly like the gym teacher in Donnie Darko.  She's cruel, doesn't give a shit about anyone, will piss and moan if she doesn't get her way and will tear anyone down for fun. I never wanted to go visit her and I was openly honest to my dad about it. He said that if I didn't go with him that he'd tell my mom that I stole a hundred dollars out of her purse. I didn't steal anything from her, so I knew that I'd have nothing to worry about if he said that. But mom was asleep and he reached into her purse and took out a hundred and stuffed it into his pocket. She'd be bound to believe him if she went to look. And she can be a real bitch sometimes...

            We only stayed at my aunt's house for an hour or two. Little did I know that my dad only wanted to go there because my uncle deals drugs. I waited outside of the car while my dad went inside hoping to get pot or coke or whatever he was hooked on. I was listening to "Dr. Feelgood" by Motley Crue on my iPod when I noticed five guys walking towards me. Four out of the five of them looked buff; the fifth one was scrawny and tall, like a stripper pole. He smiled and I pulled one ear-phone out of my ear.

            "I can hear that from all the way down the street," he mused. "Great song. You like Motley Crue?" I couldn't help but to notice how positively gorgeous he was. All six of us started to talk after that about bands and movies and music. Jimmy and his friends (Matt, Brian, Zacky and Johnny) told me that they all were in a band called Avenged Sevenfold. That's when my dad came out to the car looking high as anything. I sighed, and rolled my eyes.

            "Here's my email," I said to the five of them, but mostly to Jimmy. "Email me and hopefully we can chill sometime. I've got to go." Jimmy pouted and I laughed as I hopped into the car.

            "He your boyfriend, Emily?" Dad said with a needle in his arm. My eyes bulged as I watched him pump the heroin into his veins. I said nothing, mostly because he'd make a big deal out of it if I told him he was or wasn't. I buckled myself in and held on to the seat and hoped that there were airbags in the car. He chuckled, turning on the car and started to zoom up the street. My heart was pounding inside my chest and all I wanted to do was get out of the fucking car.

            "Dad, slow down!" I yelled at him. He woo-hooted and stepped on the gas. I was too scared to scream out in fear. "Let me out! Stop! Let me out!" I finally yelled out.

            "You want out? Huh?!" He shouted at me. Before I knew it; my seat buckle became loose and the door flew open. I crashed onto the ground, breaking my arm and fracturing my leg. I hit my head pretty badly and there was a lot of blood. But I guess we weren't that far up the street because before I knew it, Jimmy was standing above me, yelling for his friends to help. But my dad wasn't finished. He made a screeching U-turn and came flying back. Jimmy got me out of the way before my dad could roll over me with the car, but unfortunately for Jimmy, he wasn't fast enough to get out of the way himself.

            I shuddered at the memory of Jimmy getting hit by my dad's car. I really wasn't expecting Jimmy to be coming here with me but apparently his parents abandoned him only a month before we met and he was living alone. They decided that it was a good idea for him to come here too. Jimmy misses California and so do I, but at least his friends moved down here until Jimmy gets out.

            Paija and Gabe came running out of the kitchen and basically kicked me out of my reverie. Paija had apparently stolen Gabe's purple hoodie, which is hilarious because he loves that thing, and he wants it back. I hope Maryjane doesn't come down anytime soon because she has Paija's camera. Lautner sighed and I rolled my eyes. That boy never really does anything but work out. For a sixteen year old kid, he sure does have a lot of muscles. But, I really can't even think that he has too much muscle because Jimmy's friends, and Kitsch and Steven all have muscles. But at least they have something else to do but work out. Sometimes Lautner gets on my nerves too but not enough for me to slap him.

            Marisa came into the room again with that new girl, Darla, right behind her. I didn't realize that Marisa left until just now. I must have been really deep in thought. "Hey, can someone give Darla the grand tour? Kitsch and I have something to do and I know MJ and Frank are going out and so are Paija and Gabe." The Lord knows that both Jimmy and can't give a tour to save our lives. I looked over at Jimmy and giggled. He fell asleep on the couch.

DELFINA:

          I was about to raise my hand and offer to show the new girl around, but Lautner beat me to the punch. Finally that boy is doing something besides work out. He already has enough to muscles, he doesn't need anymore. And I don't think that I'd be a good tour-giver. I mean, I did show Kitsch around and Steven, but that Darla girl kind of gives me the creeps. There is something off about her and I don't know what it is.

            Jimmy and Emily crack me up, even when they don't mean to, they do. Right now, Emily is trying to wake Jimmy up by poking his side. I think he's pretending to be asleep now because I can hear him giggle. They are such a cute couple, odd, but cute. But I do wonder why Emily gets so pissed off at Steven all the time. I mean, I think I'd probably get pissed off at Jimmy if I were dating him. I really don't see anything wrong with Steven. Yeah, he can be stubborn and he has no filter on his mouth, but I think that's kind of cute. Well, for him at least.

            I looked up at him and looked into those sweet brown eyes of his. I couldn't help but to blush when he smiled back at me and kissed my cheek. He does the cutest things in the world and he always makes my day. But what would really make my day today is getting out of here for a few hours. I am so not used to being stuck in the middle of nowhere, basically. I miss being able to walk to the mall or just cross the street to get to one of my friend's house. If I wanted to visit a neighbor around here, I'd have to walk a mile just to find out that they only stayed at that house for the summer and they went back home.

            I wonder if Charisma will let Steven and I walk down to Rickets Glen to swim in the lake or something. I haven't been there in like forever and it's really hot outside. Or maybe Drew can drive us to Allentown. I heard Green Day might be playing a concert there and I haven't been to a concert in such a long time. I miss the mosh pits and the loud music and the dancing and singing and screaming to the music. Ugh, I feel like a crack addict without their crack right now. I miss concerts.

            Steven inhaled deeply beside me. It almost sounded like a sigh, so I looked up. He looked just as bored as I am even though it is the morning. "Char," he said in a whiney voice that made me giggle. "Can we please do something today? I'm dying of boredom!"

            "Dude, it's only seven. Chillax."  Charisma said, rolling her brown eyes. She was writing something down on a notepad that she had sitting in front of her. Steven sighed dramatically and slumped to the side and basically tipped me over. He's too damn heavy for me. I found myself stuck under him and laughed.

            "Oooh, sexy sexy time for Delfina and Steven?" I heard someone giggle from behind us. Marisa walked over to us and plopped down next to me. I finally pushed Steven off, but of course, he pouted.
            "I wish," he muttered under his breath. I, unlike some of the girls in here, am holding off a little while at the sex thing. I'm not so sure why exactly. I guess I just feel a little uncomfortable about it. No, I don't really think it's that exactly. I think I just want it to happen at the most perfect time ever which is not now. Too much is going on.

            Yeah, in a few days I have to go to court to testify against my mom. I never thought that would ever happen, not even in my wildest dreams would it happen. But after dad died, mom hasn't been herself. She became a heroin addict and abusive. She wasn't at all pleasant to me and my older brother either. But, he's twenty now and he's making a life for himself. He can't take care of me. I want him to, but he can't.

            "UGH! I'm so damn bored!" Marisa groaned from beside me. Her tilted her head back so it could touch the top of the couch and she had her hands over her eyes and they slowly went down her face in a very agitated way. I think it was agitated, or maybe it was in a dramatic way?  "I wish Kitsch would hurry up. He decided to get changed and I'm still in my pj's as are a lot of people and I want to do something soooo badly!" Her voice sounded a little throaty when she said 'soooo badly.' "What should we do?"

            I thought for a moment. I thought back to a couple months ago when I was helping Charisma and Hayley put some of the toys away over at the Children's unit.  I had an armful of toy cars and Barbie dolls as Hayley led me to the toy closet which was almost as big as the playroom itself. I remember walking in and seeing a whole wall decorated with water guns.

            "Well, it is really hot outside and it'll be fun," I muttered to myself. Speaking louder, I said, "I say we have a water gun war. Guys against girls."

            "That would be WICKED!" Emily chimed in with excitement. "Well, as long as it's okay with Charisma..."

            Charisma's eyes looked up at the five of us sitting on the couches, staring at her while giving her the boot lip. She choked back a laugh and slowly nodded her head. "As long as you guys don't get me wet, I'm fine."

            "Yes!" The five of us said in unison.

            "I'll go get Kitsch," Marisa said. "Someone get Rain, Ryan, Lautner, if he isn't too busy with the new girl, Maryjane and like anyone they can find." She started to dart off towards the door, but as quickly as she ran; she turned around and came back. "Should I wear a bathing suit?"

RAIN:

            Finally, a water gun war. I've been waiting for this my whole damn life! Well, not really, I just really want to do this. I've been so bored lately, it's not even funny. I love Delfina for coming up for this great idea. I must say, all the guys (well most of them, Lautner I think has a thing for Darla, the new girl) look hot in their bathing suits. Though Ryan is basically really skinny, he still looks good. Too bad Paija and Gabe left before the game started because they would really have a kick ass time. Thank God Maryjane and Frankie came back in time for it because we need more girls, though I think both teams have five people.

            All of the girls were wearing either bikinis or tankinis. I am wearing my black bikini with red stripes and green skulls on it. Delfina is wearing a blue tankini with yellow polka-dots, Emily is wearing a red bikini with black polka-dots and on the bottom piece, she had a skull on the front. Maryjane is wearing a purple bikini with cute skelanimals on it and Marisa is wearing a silver tankini that is really shiny. The guys can't take their eyes off of us.

            "Okay, I wrote the rule on the dry-erase board." Charisma said. "Follow them and no one will get hurt." All ten of us gazed at the extraordinarily white board with words written in red. It said:

                                                RULES:

•1.)       No tripping people

•2.)      No filling water gun with grape juice or anything that stains

•3.)      No leaving the house

•4.)     Don't get Charisma or any of the other Heart workers wet

•5.)      Don't break anything

•6.)      NO VIOLENCE!!!

Those rules are so easy to break, like, Charisma doesn't even know. But we don't want our fun to end in the middle of it, which would totally suck, so I guess we'll abide by them.

"Look what I found earlier!" Jimmy said, running out of the room and then running in with a box in his hands. "Walkie-talkies. I thought that each team would get one and we'll each have our own channels." He grinned. "This is going to be SO MUCH FUN!"

"I know! It's going to be soooo war-like," I said in excitement. "Oh! We should have like our own base too, you know, like us girls can have the attic as our base."

"And we can have the kitchen." Kitsch grinned wildly. Charisma soon came in with the water guns and handed us each one. Mine is a totally wicked blue one and it's a decent size if I do say so myself. I glanced up at Ryan who had a yellow water gun in his hands and smirked. I am so going to get his skinny ass soaked!

We all ran to our bases after setting down a few of our own rules (like we can't enter each others bases unless we captured or we're freeing the captured). All five of us girls couldn't hold in the giggles as we ran in the attic. We're full of bubbly laughter that we can't contain. Us girls decided that our walkie-talkie channel would be channel four. Of course we had to check if the guys had it, but they didn't. We only have five minutes up here before the game starts so we can come up with a battle plan.

"I say we start off with the two weakest," I suggested as we huddled into a group. "And that's Ryan and Jimmy. Frank is neutral because that boy can tackle."

"Yeah, Steven and Kitsch are the strongest. They'll be harder to take down." Maryjane said. "I say two of us tackle Kitsch and two tackle Steven."

"I thought Charisma said no violence." Delfina said, raising her eyebrows.

"It's not violence if you tackle and beat them to the ground and apologize after," Emily smiled. "Besides, they are stronger which means we've got to be at least somewhat violent."

I glanced up at the clock. Two minutes left. "Two minutes left girls. Is this our game plan?" The four girls nodded and I continued. "There are only five of us. I say we split up. One group of three and one group of two. Who's going with whom?"

"I'll go with Em and MJ," Marisa said. "We can patrol the second floor."

"And you and I," Delfina said to me. "Can patrol the ground floor. We can use this as time out too, if we need it. And, of course, it's prison."

"One minute left," Emily inhaled deeply. "We set?" Everyone nodded and stood up. "Good." She sighed. We all lined up at the door and watched the clock on the wall pass by each second mark. All five of us grinned wildly and gave out our last giggles.

"GO!" I grabbed Delfina's arm and basically dragged her downstairs.

LAUTNER:

      Darla hasn't said a thing during the first part of the tour. She looked detached or possibly lost in thought. I noticed that she changed her dress too, not to sound like a creeper or anything. I hadn't expected her to change because it looked like she was already dressed earlier but I guess she wasn't. Instead of that white dress she wore earlier; she's wearing a cherry red dress that went down to her knees. The dress itself is noodle-strapped, flowy and bright and she's wearing a sweater over it that's the same color and she's wearing the same boots as earlier. I guess any kind of color would look good on her. She is very beautiful.

      Amy gave Darla a small dry-erase board and a black dry-erase marker to write with since she doesn't talk. I was actually hoping that she would talk to me, but it seems to me that I got my hopes up too high for that. I heard loud giggling from upstairs and heard thunderous footsteps on the stairs coming down. There was Rain and Del with water guns in their hands and bathing suits on. Wow, they look good...

I felt Darla tap my shoulder. I turned around and she held the board up to me.

Does that usually happen here? It said on the board. I grinned.

"That depends on what you mean." I replied back to her. She erased her writing with the eraser that Amy also gave her. She held up the board again after writing something else down.

Do the teens here usually have water gun fights?

"Not really, I mean it hasn't happened before but I'm guessing Charisma is letting them today because it's hot out." I said. "But, all of us here are pretty weird and crazy."

How weird and crazy? She wrote.

"Well...you'll just have to find out."

"Damn it! He got me!" I heard one of the girls yell.

I turned and looked back at Darla again. She was smirking and erasing her board. "Hey," I said, causing her to look up at me. "Do you want to go see the garden?" She nodded her head of red curls.

She followed me downstairs and past Ryan and Jimmy who were being taken down by Marisa and Maryjane. I heard the little squeaking of the dry-erase marker and turned to find Darla holding it up to me again.

I see what you mean. I laughed as we entered the kitchen were Steven and Kitsch were chilling out in. Steven has sitting at the table, tilting his chair backwards and bit and resting his feet on the table. Kitsch was sitting on the counter with his red water gun next to him. Both of them were soaked.

"Are you finished the tour yet?" Steven asked as I pushed his feet off of the table. "We can really use you, man."

"Nah, we're not done yet." I smiled. I turned and looked at Darla who held the board tight against her chest. Her eyes were wide and looked stunning. That eye color is positively beautiful. I have never seen green eyes like hers before and those lashes...

I quickly caught myself before I became too engrossed in her looks and motioned for her to come with me outside. She stepped up her pace and I opened the door for her. The sun beat down on us as soon as we stepped outside. It is steaming hot outside. How can she wear a sweater? Does she feel any of the heat? I didn't ask her that as I silently led her to the garden that was on the side of the house. I heard her gasp a little as soon as she saw the riot of colors standing brilliantly in the soil. Slowly, she walked up to the garden and stared at the many different flowers laid out before her. Her hand swept across some zinnias and pansies and some delphiniums.

"You want to see the roses?" She turned around and smiled at me. "Do you like roses?" I asked.

I love roses. She wrote on her white board. I put my hand on her shoulder (she tenses a little) and led her around more colorful flowers to a giant rose bush. She picked up her pace again and walked right up to the rose bush which was covered with red roses. Her hand reached to touch one but she pulled back.

Am I allowed to pick one? She asked. I, not answering her, reached out to the bush and picked off the biggest rose on the bush and I gave it to her. She blushed a rosy color and took it graciously.

LOL. We're now reading "Othello" in english class and I had NO IDEA that they're was a chick in Othello named Desdemona. When I saw that, I was like "Dude, that's my daughter..." and my teacher looked at me weirdly ahahaha.

Ugh, as soon as we get back from our four day weekend, everyone (mostly) gets overloaded with homework.

For World Civ., I have to do a map.

For Chemistry, I have to do:
1.) Chapter 9 packey
2.) Chapter 10 outline
3.)Audit #17
4.) Chapter 10 test
5.) Have to bring in Chem book

For Geometry I have to do 11.5 Day 1 and 2

And I'm pretty sure i have something to do for both of my english classes and I have to finish my Paramore purse in Apparel Design. Ugh. And I have three E's which I need to bring up because 2 of the 3 classes I've been failing all year (guess which two) and I don't want to go to summer school...UGH!!!!

OMG. The funniest/ greatest thing happened to me this morning. For a month straight, I've been going to church again and everything. And a couple of weeks ago, Pastor Mark accidently called me by my sisters name (if you'd met my sister, that would be an insult...lol jk!) but I do HATE it when people call me by her name.

So today after service, we went to shake his hand and what not after it and I didn't really say anything and Pastor Mark was like, "Say something. Say something."

My sister: "She's still mad at you for calling her by my name."

P. Mark: "I did that? Oh yeah, I did. Wow, hey that was like a month ago! You're still holding that grudge? Man, I should like learn from you." *I laugh* "Can you forgive me? Should I get down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness?"

Me: *confused/embarassed*

P.Mark: *bows down on his knees* "I beg for your forgiveness. Forgive me!"

Me: *still confused/embarassed* "You are forgiven. Arise."

LOL. It was soooo funny!!!!! hahahah!!!!