Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin

M and I were driving home after school, as usual, in his new black Hummer. It’s so rad. M is acting very weird though. We usually talk or banter on our way home, but not today. Today, we basically rode in silence. Does he know about my lunch date (if you would call it that) with Synyster? Suddenly, M’s cell phone rang.

       “Hello?” he said, answering it. “Oh, hey, Val. What’s up?” I let out a sigh of relief. Thank God it’s not you know who. “Oh yeah. Oh, did you know that Vi had lunch with Syn today?...” M alluded to me. Yep, he knows. Jeez. “Oh you did. I told him that she was off limits….uh-huh, I have to have a talk with him. Okay…alright. See you later, bye.” M put his cell phone in his pocket and continued to drive in silence as if he hadn’t said a thing. At this point, my face and turned bright red. ‘Off limits’?!?!?! What am I? A trophy?! Ha! That mean, stupid, treacherous, guile…

       “M, can I talk to you?” I hissed, still recovering from apparently being ‘off limits.’

       “Hm?” M noised while taking a different itinerary home.

       “What’s your problem with me and Synsyter having lunch together?” M heavily sighed and agitated sigh at my question. He was being so disreputable it’s not even funny.

       “My problem is that I told him to keep away from you and his disobeyed me.” M said slowly, choosing each word carefully and cautiously. My face turned redder with anger and surprise. ‘Keep away?’ ‘Disobeyed?’ He acts like he owns the world.

       “Oh my God,” I sighed. M glanced at me, then back at the road. “I’m sorry, M. I just can’t quite fathom what you’re saying. W-what do you mean you told him to stay away form me?” I stuttered in anger and confusion.

       “Vi,” he said, starting to get angry as well. “You’re my little sister. I care about you. I was just trying to protect you from potential heartbreak.” His reason was exemplary, but I’m not a kid, Jeez.

       “I know,” I sighed, trying to calm down a little. I rested my head on my hand. I just can’t really seem to calm down, though. I don’t know why this is bothering me but it is. “But I have integrity, dude. And you need to respect that. And If I want to go out with Syn, then I will go out with Syn. It’s as simple as that, ‘kay?” I glared at him with a conclusive look on my face. I can tell that M is glaring back at me under his sunglasses. His teeth were clenched together and his hands were like they were glued to the steering wheel.

       “Do you even like him?” he said.

       “What does it matter to you?”

       “If you like him, then you should go out with him. And if you don’t, then why even bother?” I didn’t answer, only glared. I don’t even know the answer to his question. I’m only sixteen for God’s sake. “Look, I’m no clairvoyant, but I can see where this is going, Vi. You’re going to get hurt. You always do.”

       We pulled into our driveway at this point. I still haven’t really gotten used to the lonely suburbs of Monroeville yet. We were usually endemic to bigger and meaner neighborhoods, but what can you do right?

       M quickly turned off the engine and hopped out of his big Hummer, He made his way over to my side as I opened my door to help me down from the massive thing (I always seem to have trouble getting down from the ghastly thing).  As soon as we entered the house, I went straight for my room. I really needed to listen to music.

       I ran into my bedroom and straight to my CD player and popped in my HIM CD (Razorblade Romance). I turned it up to the loudest volume and  I sang along to every song. I was up to the song “Razorblade Kiss” when I heard a knock at the door. I decided to ignore it as I thought it was probably Rev or Zacky. They’ve been coming over a lot lately.

       “Your love is razorblade kiss, sweetest is the taste from your lips,” I sang somewhat loudly. “ Your love is a razorblade kiss, sweetest is the taste from your lips. Oh the taste from your lips, my Darling. Taste from your lips, Oh, my lo…” I stopped. A knock came at my door. I went over and turned off my CD player. I’m curious, who’s here to see me?

       “Come in.” I said carefully as I sat down on my bed. Val poked her head through the door and smiled hugely. I waved ‘hi’ and she waved back. “What are you doing her?” I asked.

       “I’m here to see you and your brother.” She smiled sheepishly. “Where’s your mom and dad?”

       “Oh, that,” my smiled started to fade. “They died about a year ago. M and I live together. He proved to the court that he could take care of me and himself. And plus with our parents’ insurance money, we don’t really need any jobs yet.”

       “Oh, I’m sorry.” She frowned.

       “It’s okay, you didn’t know.” My smile resurfaced on my face. I heard more voices from the hallway. “Who else is out there?”

       “Oh, n-no one in particular.”  She lied. I can only guess who.

       “Lemme guess. Synyster, right?”

       “Nothing can get past you.” She sighed sarcastically. But nodded ‘yes’ and sat down on the chair near my door.

       “Wonderful.” I sighed. “M’s not going to let me hang with Syn, is he?” I asked to no one really.

       “Eh, you’d be surprised.”

We all decided to sit on a long bench near a big oak. There wasn't enough swings to fit all six of us. We all have been talking endlessly for the last half hour about....well, everything. Ville already had gained a few memories of past shows and tours.

"So what have you guys been doing since I...died?" Ville asked openly to the guys. They were still...confused and surprised about Ville being 'back.' But, they still kinda don't know that he's a Reaper.

"Well, we tried to carry on but we...couldn't. You were our friend and part of the band and we couldn't carry on without you..." Mige said, trailing off at the end.

"We missed you so much, Ville." Burton sighed. He had a pained look on his face.

"How....How are you....how are you here?" Gas asked randomly. How can we explain this to them? How can we break the news that he's only here until he gets all of his memories back? I'm still trying to get over that fact myself.

Ville and I both looked at each other. A flicker of worry appeared on both of our faces. There was silence between the six of us. Even if we did tell them, would they believe us? I've got evidence that Ville is a reaper. I mean, he's here isn't he? It's hard enough to even attempt to tell them the truth but it's harder when it's a possiblity that no one will believe us.

"Ville, should I tell them or should you?" He knows that we need to tell them.

"I will," he sighed. "But I'm gonna need a little help, though." I nodded my head and we both threw our attention to the four others around us.

"Okay," Ville started. He gave a look. A look that hinted he was trying to find a way to tell them in his head. "This is going to be hard to understand and even believe," he said each word carefully and thoughtfully. "I guess I should just come out with it. Um, well, I'm a.....Reaper." Ville choked on the last word. Out of nowhere, I heard a chuckle and then a lionous laugh. Mige was cracking up, laughing so hard that tears were rolling down his cheeks. I shot an angry look over to him.

"What's so funny?" I hissed.

"Nothing, nothing. I just thought he was a vampire or a zombie. But a Reaper? Seriously? That's so cool!" Mige stated humourously.

"You think that's funny?" My voice was bitter, my facial expression was blank and cold. Funny? How could he think it's funny? It's not funny! He's a fuckin' Reaper for God's sake! That's not one bit of funny!

"No...it's not that I think it's 'funny'....it's just. It sounds so far-fetched. I mean...Vilel...A freakin' Reaper? C'mon. You should of said that you were a ghost or a vampire. Now that I could probably believe."

"How come you can't believe that he's a Reaper?" My eyes were full of fury. I am really pissed off.

"For one thing, where's his sythe? And how come he's not a skeleton? And where's the long bacl robe thingy? He can't be a Reaper, he doesn't fit the description." Mige's eyes were serious as was his the rest of him. Vilel started to laugh from right beside me. I sighed angrily, and crossed my arms across my chest.

"I forgot that's how people describe what Reapers look like. Just because one really skinny Reaper decided to reap while uncloaked, doesn't mean that ALL Reapers look like that. And they sythe, we only use it when we need it. And we only need it when the person is fighting death. We have a list and if the person doesn't die then no one else on that list dies. It stops the natural order of tings. And the robe, it was probably a soon to be elder out reaping. I mean my God. And we like to be referred to as 'Angels of Death,' Reapers sound so morbid." Ville chuckled in each sentence. Hm, I learn something new everyday.

"Do you want me to stop referring to you as a Reaper then?" I chuckled. He lightened up my mood. He has always done that when he's ranting. He's just too cute.

"Naw, you sound cute when you say 'Reaper.'"

"Okay," I giggled, then cleared my throat. "So, now that you know. I have a suggestion," I smiled. "How about you guys, well...I don't know if this is a good idea especially since Ville can't really remeber anything and we're all kinda in a 'mood'..."

"Spit it out." Linde sighed.

"How about you guys play another show...together. Kinda like a reunion?"

All five looked at each other questionly. Maybe it's a good idea, maybe it's a bad idea. Who knows?

"I don't know, Brandy. I don't remember any of the songs or lyrics or anything really." Ville said.

"We can listent to all of your CD's and we can re-teach you the songs....just one more show, please? For me?" I was begging now. I know, a little pathetic but who can blame me for that.

"I'm fine with it." Burton smiled. I smiled as well.

"Me too." Mige and Gas said in unison. We all looked a Linde and Ville, who looked at each other. Linde nodded yes and now it's all up to Ville. Ohhh...pressure.

"Fine," He sighed. "But you  guys are going to have to help me with EVERYTHING." I smiled hugely, throwing my arms around him and kissing him on the cheek. I'm so happy now.

 

to be continued....

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Sorry this one's a little sucky and random but I hope you like it anyways...

 

Today is....really....emotional for me....I shouldn't really say 'emotional'...it doesn't quite describe how I feel....'heartless' maybe...but not emotional....

I've been thinking lately...about everything that has happened to me and that is still happening to me. I thought tthat maybe if I talk about it would make some sort of a difference in my life. And that someone would finally hear what I'm saying. And, I keep pushing myself back into a lifeless hole and pretend to smile and pretend to be happy when I'm really not. I try to smile, I try to laugh...it may seem real to other people, but it's not real to me. What I feel and what I am...is really scared. Ever since the dreams came back....the worry came back as well. And all of that makes me want to vanish....to disappear. I don't want to fret about anything anymore. I keep having dreams that, he's going to come back and not only hurt me, but my family as well. And that really scares the shit out of me. And, everything has gotten to the point to where I can barely eat, my dreams over power me, and I feel like I don't deserve anything anymore. And for some reason, I don't even know why I'm here. I keep waiting for something good to happen but it never does. And the one thing that makes me happy, doesn't even know I exsist. And I feel like there's this huge gaping hole in my heart and the only thing that can fill it...well, let's just say...it might not even happen for me. I'm so useless. And I'm tired of feeling this way.

So what happens now? I don't know. Everything changes for the worse or for the better. It's either one or the other. SO I'm just gonna sit here....and wait.

I'm sorry I haven't written in days...again....scholls been keeping me busy....I had to get my schedule changed and i have soo many projects and the PSSA's are next week....ugh...this sucks....but it's Friday...so....yeah...I hope you enjoy loves XD

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Ville and I had waited until the next day to see the guys. They heard on TMZ about the accusations of Ville being 'back,' though they weren't really accusations in this case. They called me at midnight, questioning me. All I could say was 'Meet me tomorrow at the park where Ville and I first met at eleven.' That probably tipped them off a little....I hope.

Ville has so many things to remember. I just hope that when he gets his memories back, he doesn't leave me. That thought is always in my mind. I know Ville can tell too. He says he can see it in my eyes. I can see it in his too. The worry, the worry of having to leave each other again. I don't think I can take it. This really sucks. Hmmm, I wonder is Reapers are allowed to date humans....

"I don't know if this is a good idea," Ville said as I drove up to the park in Bam's hummer. Thank God he let us borrow it, my car is out of gas. "I mean, what if ALL of my memories come back and I have to leave. I don't wanna take any chances..."

I sighed as we parked at the cemtery enterance to the park. He won't get back ALL of his memories in just one visit with Linde, Mige, Gas, and Burton. That's so impossible. And, maybe, he'll be able to sing again and at least remember being onstage.

"Ville," I siad, stroking his arm, feeling the fabric of his coat on my fingertips. "You won't remember everything, trust me. And plus, you have to remember your childhood too. And for that, I would have to call your parents. So, calm down, 'kay?" He only nodded in agreement to my words. I had some doubts about this visit myself, but if he gets some memories back, I guess that would be okay.

We got out of the car. It was only about ten minutes till eleven. We were only a little early, but not my much, and the guys are always late anyways. Ville and I wondered to the swing part of the park were we sat in our own swings and waited for them to arrive. We were silent, and tired, and anxious for their arrival.

Ville and I jumped at the sound of bantering voices at the enterance. I smiled emerged on my face, and worry emerged on Ville's. I don't know why he's worried, he shouldn't be. There's nothing to worry about at all.

I stood and started to walk to the others, but, Ville didn't follow, it was like he was glued to his swing. I knelt down before him, taking his hands in mine, and smiled, which has always caused him to smile back.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, honey," I grinned. Ouch, my face hurts. "I'll be right here beside you."

He nodded again, and stood with my hands still held firmly in his. We both walked slowly to the enterance of the park. Fous sets of startled eyes met mine and Ville's as we approached them. They all looked so.....surprised, I guess. I don't really know how to....describe how they look.

"Ville?" Linde gasped in sheer amazment. Yeah, I guess 'surprised' covers it...now.

"Linde..." Ville exhaled slowly. Ha, I knew this was s good idea.

 

to be continued...

“Seriously?” Phoebe gasped in surprise the following day of school at my locker. “He was staring at you?”

       “Sssshhhh….he’ coming,” I shushed her as I saw Synyster walking down the hallway with my brother. “But…yes.” I professed quickly. I felt Phoebe nudge my shoulder. Phoebe leaned toward my ear and whispered.

       “He’s looking at you again.” All I could do was look up, casually, and see that this fact was true. He was looking at me. I felt my heart stop for a moment.

       M opened his locker, putting stuff away and taking stuff out, with Synyster right beside him. I glanced at Synyster again. He wasn’t paying attention to me, I think. I studied what he was wearing. He was wearing a tan t-shirt with a black cross on it, dark jeans and a black belt with his usual fedora and sneakers. Syn’s  clothing, matching his nonchalant yet tough attitude, made him seem insuperable. I was almost distracted by his muscular beauty.

       I soon snapped back into reality and turned to Phoebe who had a wicked smile on her face. What in the world was she thinking?

       “Hey, uh, M, Phoebe called out to my brother. Crap, I know what she’s doing. M gave her his attention. “Can I talk to you? ...over there…”

       “Uh, okay.” M said with suspension in his voice. She started to walk away with my brother. At that moment, I realized EXACTLY what she was doing. That sneaky girl.

       I closed my locker door quickly and tried to escape. I turned around and who should I run into? Synyster. Fantastic

“Sorry,” I mumbled under my breath. I looked up and saw that he still had that smile in place.

“It’s alright,” Synsyter chuckled in a sonorous tone of voice. I blushed again. And I could tell that I had because Synyster chuckled again.

       “It’s Violet, right?” He questioned innocently.

       “Violetta,” I corrected. ‘Violet’ is a simple misnomer of my name. “But please, call me Vi.”

       “Okay Vi.” I smiled nervously as he talked again. I felt like something is going to happen. That he’s going to ask me out or something. I like him, I think. What do I do? Well, I am a very sinuous person. Maybe I have a chance to get out of this?

“Can I ask you something?” I heard him ask from beside me. I had no idea that we started walking to the commons. Weird.

       “Uh, sure.” I said before thinking. I, of course, kicked myself for that.

       “Will you have lunch with me?”

       “What?” I asked, though it sounded like I gasped, loudly.

       “Will you have lunch with me?” he reiterated. And before I could say anything, he spoke again. “Before you even about saying no. Let me tell you this. Just think of having lunch with me as sort of a retribution for hooking Phoebe up with Zacky, Val with M, Rev with Sheila, and Johnny with Rose.” I can tell that he’s the vanguard of his group. Well, seeing as I probably have no choice in this…

       “Okay,” I flushed. Synyster smiled his sinister grin yet again. What can I say? He’s so adorable! I just hope my decision isn’t lamentable later.

       Synsyter walked me to the lunch line. We were in total awkward silence the whole way there. Him and I kept glancing at each other, though. I wasn’t paying attention to anything. I was….distracted. So, knowing me, grabbed about ten things I wasn’t going to eat for lunch.

       “You know you’re probably not going to eat all of that.” He pointed out, finally breaking our awkward silence.

       “I know,” I confessed, staring down at the food in my hands. “I’m a real wastrel.” Synsyter snickered as I paid for my things. I felt a brief moment of respite as we walked over to the table. I have no idea what to say to him. Just make small talk, that’s it, small talk. But what to talk about?

       “So,” I started. “Why do you always wear your fedora?” I asked curiously.

       “I don’t know really, I mean, I love my fedora. I think it’s an awesome hat.” He smiled as I started my small talk.

       “That’s rad.” I nodded my head in agreement.

       “Rad?” he questioned in a laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh as well.

       “Yeah,” I smiled. “Rad.”

 

We hold in our hearts the sword and the faith
Swelled up from the rain, clouds move like a wraith
Well after all, we'll lie another day
And through it all
We'll find some other way
To carry on through cartilage and fluid
And did you come to stare, or wash away the blood?

Well tonight, well tonight
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days
Rocking out just for the dead
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake anytime, in my head

Did we all fall down? [x4]
From the lights to the pavement
From the van to the floor
From backstage to the doctor
From the Earth to the morgue
Morgue, morgue, morgue

Well tonight
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days
Rocking out just for the dead
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake anytime in my head

All fall down
Well after all..

Your lipstick, his collar.. don't bother Angel
I know exactly what goes on

When everything you'll get is
everything that you've wanted, princess
(well which would you prefer)
My finger on the trigger, or
(me face down, down across your floor)
Me face down, down across your floor
(me face down, down across your floor)
Well just so long as this thing's loaded

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
let's go...

Don't bother trying to explain Angel
I know exactly what goes on when you're on and
How about I'm outside of your window
(how about I'm outside of your window)
Watchin him keep the details covered
You're such a sucker (you're such a sucker)
for a sweet talker, yeah

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know...

Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?
Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this

(I stay jealous)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life!

Love is a flame that can't be tamed
And though we are its willing prey, my Darling
We are not the ones to blame

Trust is a word all lovers know
The glorious art of staining souls, my Darling
We are not the ones to blame
The more we have the more we want
And the more it hurts our hearts, my Baby
It always ends up in tears

So keep on pretending
Our heaven is worth the waiting
Keep on pretending it's alright
So keep on pretending
It will be the end of our craving
Keep on pretending
It's alright

When doubts arise the game begins
The one we will never win, my Baby
It always ends up in tears

So keep on pretending
Our heaven is worth the waiting
Keep on pretending it's alright
So keep on pretending
It will be the end of our craving
Keep on pretending
It's alright

So keep on pretending
Our heaven is worth the waiting
Keep on pretending it's alright
So keep on pretending
It will be the end of our craving
Keep on pretending
It's alright

Love is a flame that can't be tamed
And though we are its willing prey, my Darling
We are not the ones to blame

I see you try to avoid me
You ain't so friendly
Cold like ice
I can see what that means

Let me explain first, why I haven't been around
I'll let you know, why I haven't seen you every day
I've been busy with the band, if you know, what that means

I heard you're talking things about me
Building barrigades around me
So real friendship
Wasn't real at all it seems

And if it's so, that you're talking shit behind my back
I'll let you know, I can fight back in the cruelest way
So I'm asking for peace, if you know what that means, yeah

Y-yeah-yeah

Say it again, if you want to depress me
[Say it again nanananana-nanana]
Say it again, go ahead, I feel nothing

Say it again, if you want to depress me
[Say it again nanananana-nanana]
Say it again, go ahead, I feel nothing

You wanna say something to me
Come and say something to me
What is wrong with you may I ask

And if it's so, that you're talking shit behind my back
I'll let you know, I can fight back in the cruelest way
So I'm asking for peace, if you know what that means, yeah

Y-yeah-yeah

Say it again, if you want to depress me
[Say it again nanananana-nanana]
Say it again, go ahead, I feel nothing

Say it again, if you want to depress me
[Say it again nanananana-nanana]
Say it again, I feel nothing

And if it's so, that you're talking shit behind my back
I'll let you know, I can fight back in the cruelest way
So I'm asking for peace, if you know what that means, boy

Say it again, if you want to depress me
[Say it again nanananana-nanana]
Say it again, go ahead, I feel nothing

Say it again, if you want to depress me
[Say it again nanananana-nanana]
Say it again, I feel nothing

Say it again [And if it's so, that you're talking shit behind my back]
If you want to depress me
[say it again nanananana-nanana]
[ I'll let you know, I can fight back in the cruelest way]
Say it again, I feel nothing
[So I'm asking for peace, if you know what that means]
Say it again [And if it's so, that you're talking shit behind my back]
If you want to depress me
[Say it again nanananana-nanana]
[ I'll let you know, I can fight back in the cruelest way]
[So I'm asking for peace, if you know what that means]
Say it again, I feel nothing

Before the story begins, is it such a sin,
for me to take what's mine, until the end of time
We were more than friends, before the story ends,
And I will take what's mine, create what
God would never design

Our love had been so strong for far too long,
I was weak with fear that
something would go wrong,
before the possibilities came true,
I took all possibility from you
Almost laughed myself to tears,
conjuring her deepest fears

Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times,
I can't believe it,
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes,
Eyes over easy, eat it eat it eat it

She was never this good in bed
even when she was sleepin'
now she's just so perfect I've
never been quite so fucking deep in
it goes on and on and on,
I can keep you lookin' young and preserved forever,
with a fountain to spray on your youth whenever

'Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
and a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
'cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
let's make a new start
'cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
but baby don't cry

Now possibilities I'd never considered,
are occurring the likes of which I'd never heard,
Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave,
to repossess a body with which I'd misbehaved

Smiling right from ear to ear
Almost laughed herself to tears

Must have stabbed him fifty fucking times
I can't believe it
Ripped his heart out right before his eyes
Eyes over easy
Eat it eat it eat it

Now that it's done I realize the error of my ways
I must venture back to apologize from somewhere far beyond the grave

I gotta make up for what I've done
'Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven
while you burned in hell, no peace forever

'Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
and a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let's make a new start
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry

I will suffer for so long
(What will you do, not long enough)
To make it up to you
(I pray to God that you do)
I'll do whatever you want me to do
(Well then I'll break you unchained)
And if it's not enough
(If it's not enough, If it's not enough)
If it's not enough
(Not enough)
Try again
(Try again)
And again
(And again)
Over and over again

We're coming back, coming back
We'll live forever, live forever
Let's have wedding, have a wedding
Let's start the killing, start the killing

'Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let's make a new start
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry

The city is at war, a place among the young and rich.
ignore me if you see me, cause i just don't give a shit.
the city is at war, plus the young and rich with designer drugs and designer friends.

the city is at war, a place among the young and rich.
ignore me if you see me, cause i just don't give a shit.
the city is at war, plus the young and rich with designer drugs and designer friends.

here's how it goes, it's about who you know.
if you got money, you get in for free.
get on your knee's, if you want to reach the top.
your body never stops, never stops, don't stop, don't stop, no.
come on, stick around, we'll see how it ends.
get the money and run, meet me at the parking lot.
bang, bang, shoot 'em up.
yeah.

the city is at war, a place among the young and rich.
ignore me if you see me, cause i just don't give a shit.
the city is at war, plus the young and rich with designer drugs and designer friends.

this little girl, was alone in the world.
until she found a way to get it fixed for free.
oh, pretty please, it breaks my heart to see, another tragedy.
she finally got her picture on tv.
come on, live it up while you can.
but always in the end, no you don't get another shot.
bang bang, shoot 'em up.
yeah.

the city is at war, a place among the young and rich.
ignore me if you see me, cause i just don't give a shit.
the city is at war, plus the young and rich with designer drugs and designer friends.

the city is at war
the city is at war
the city is at war

bang bang, shoot 'em up, shoot 'em up, yeah.
bang bang, shoot 'em up, shoot 'em up, yeah.
bang bang, shoot 'em up, shoot 'em up, yeah.
bang bang, shoot 'em up, shoot 'em up, yeah

She said live young and leave a wake of beauty,
it's all I ever could have asked
should have asked from you,
and I wont forget to write you
when I get there soon
cause you'll be lying dead
from stab wounds to the
neck and chest again,

*They found you covered up in blood,
covered head to toe in blood*
Face first in a tale of awkward love,
*They found you covered up in blood,
she' bleeding she's bleeding*

Gone with the stitching in her heart
left out a silhouette that just wont
heal and dying in your arms tonight

*this Dream, we die,
LOCKED AWAY,
with this blood, and this knife*
*this Dream, we die,
LOCKED AWAY,
with this blood,
and this knife*

I know it's all
just a bad dream now

So now midnight's here
you're all alone
they use this fear
it's all just a bad dream
and I can't seem to

Wake up from this [2x]

*In my Dreams, we die,
with this blood, and this knife*
*In my Dreams, we die,
with this blood, and this knife now*

I know it's all just a bad dream now
(I know it's all just a bad dream now)
it's all just a bad dream now
(I know it's all just a bad dream now)
it's all just a bad dream now
(I know it's all just a bad dream now)

I say

This is the last time that
I'll ever get to see your face alive,
*They found you covered up in blood,
covered head to toe in blood*
and I know that everyday's a new day
and my dreams will never die,
*They found you covered up in blood,
covered head to toe in blood*

She said live young and leave a wake of beauty,
it's all I ever could have asked
should have asked from you,
and I wont forget to write you
when I get there soon
cause you'll be lying dead from dreaming (nightmares)

So now midnight's here
you're all alone
they use this fear
it's all just a bad dream
and I can't seem to
wake up from this [3x]

Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough for you.

Drink up sweet decadence.
I can't say no to you,
And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough.
It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

So take care what you ask of me,
'cause I can't say no

Bushwalla: yo yo yo yo brother a to z
Mraz: yo what's up b?
Bushwalla: yo what time is it?
Mraz: ha ha, it's laundry day

well let the geek in the pink take a stab at it
if you like the way i'm thinkin' baby wink at it
i may be skinny at times but i'm fat full 'a rhymes
pass me the mic and I'm a grab at it
well isn't it delicious crazy way that i'm kissin'
cause baby listen to this don't wanna miss it while it's hittin'
sometimes you gotta fit in to get in
but don't ever quit cause soon i'm gonna let you in but see

i don't care what you might think about me
you'll get by without me if you want
well i could be the one to take you home
baby we could rock the night alone
if we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
but sugar don't forget what you already know
that i could be the one to turn you out
we could be the talk across the town
don't judge me by the color, confuse it for another
you might regret what you let slip away
like the geek in the pink

well like the geek in the pink yea
the geek in the pink

my relationship fodder don't mean to bother nobody
but cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots at her
because she fall in love too often that's what the matter
at least i'm talking about it keep my patter to flattery and a
she was staring through the doorframe
and eyeing me down like already a bad boyfriend
well she can get her toys outta the drawer then
cause i ain't comin' home, i don't need that attention, see

i don't care what she might think about me
she'll get by without me if she want
but i could be the one to take her home
baby we could rock the night alone
if we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
but sugar don't forget what you already know
that i could be the one to turn you out
we could be the talk across the town
don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
you might regret what you let slip away

hey baby look at me go
from zero to hero
you better take it from a geek like me
i can save you from unoriginal dum-dums
who wouldn't care if you com...plete them or not

so what i've got a short attention span
a coke in my hand
because i'd rather have the afternoon, relax and understand
my hip hop in flip flops well it don't stop with the light rock
my shot to mock you kinda puts me in a tight spot
the hype is nothing more than hoo-hah so i'm
developing a language and i'm calling it my own
so take a peek into the speaker and you'll see what i mean
that on the other side the grass is greener

i don't care what you might think about me
you'll get by without me if you want
i could be the one to take you home
baby we could rock the night alone
if we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
but sugar don't forget what you already know
that i could be the one to turn you out
we could be the talk across the town
don't judge me by the color, confuse it for another
you might regret what you let slip away
like the geek in the pink

well i'm the geek in the pink y'all
geek is the color for fall
i'm the geek in the pink
so i'm the geek y'all
in the pink y'all
geek is the color for fall
i'm the geek in the pink

It feels like I'm looking at life
Through a telescope because I'm so high
The ground never seemed so far away
Truth shall be told one day
I'll be under ground one day

I've got a One that'll put roses on my grave (2x)
Roses on my grave

Feels like I'm looking at life
Through a telescope because I'm so high
The ground never seemed so far away
Truth shall be told one day
I'll be under ground one day

I've got a One that'll put roses on my grave (4x)
Roses on my grave

Don't forget me
Don't forget me
Please forgive me
Don't forget me

It's my redemption, Time for redemption
Time for redemption, It's my redemption
It's my redemption, Time for redemption
Time for redemption

I'll see you on the other side
I'm waiting on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
I'm waiting on the other side

The next 10 journals will be the lyrics to the top 10 songs I CANNOT get enough of! Here are the top 10:

1. Desert Song- My Chemical Romance

2. Cute Without the E- Taking Back Sunday

3. Pretending- HIM

4. Playboys- The Rasmus

5. A Little Piece of Heaven- Avenged Sevenfold

6. This City Is At War- Cobra Starship

7. Knife Blood Nightmare- Aiden

8. Good Enough- Evanescence

9. Geek In The Pink- Jason Mraz

10. Roses On My Grave- Papa Roach

Don't worry if your life line is faint, it just means you haven't experienced everything life has in store for you. Whether you hold back because of fear or anxiety, you are unknowingly missing out on the party.

Your life line will strengthen, however, once you begin to enjoy the world more. So accept those invitations, take risks and meet new people.

Intense may be just one word to describe you. According to your head line, it's your intensity that allows you to conquer any obstacle you meet--to you, it's all about having heart. And when you need to get a task done, no one can say you didn't find the fastest route to the finish line.

Beware because some of that passionate energy may be confused with a need to control all the time.

When it comes to love, do you let your head rule your heart more than your emotions? Your heart line seems to indicate you're not a risk taker when it comes to love. Instead you take your time and evaluate every move.

For you, the whole kissing in the rain thing is merely a fantasy, and there's nothing wrong with that. We would suggest trying to give in to your emotions every once in awhile. You might discover something about yourself...
 

 

What does it have to say about you? Go on gurl.com and find out! it's the palm reading selector....

I'm bored....lol....I have to go back to school tomorrow....this sucks...lol.....

I'm drawing this huge ass picture and it's so freaky lol.

Let me describe the FOUR main things about the picture....

1. My Chemical Romance
2. Avenged Sevenfold
3. Aiden
4. A Nightmare Before Christmas

I'll have to ask my friend Ana to bring in her camera when it's finished cuz it's too big to fit on the scanner. I'm so excited about it. I don't know why. I'm in a creally creative phase nowadays. lol

I wrapped my arms around Ville's slender waist and closed my eyes as I rested my head on his chest. I felt as if I faded away for a second and that Ville and I were the only people left in the world. He always makes me feel that way. And I love the way it feels. Just him and I, together forever.

And in that one second, we were in the park where we first met. No one was here. No one ever really comes here. That's why, four years ago, I would come to this park. It was located behind an abandoned cemetery. I never really knew why someone would put a park behind a cemetery, but they did. I haven't been here in months.

"Why did you want to come here?" Ville asked me with curiousity in his voice. I looked up and caught a pair of green eyes staring down at me. I cracked a huge smile across my face and chuckled slightly.

"Don't you remember this park?" I said teasingly. His eyebrow went up in an irritated fashion. "It's the park where we first met." I rested my head on his chest again. I felt his lips press against the top of my head. We were just standing there for a couple of minutes. This is so a kodak moment.

I felt Ville's hands both moves down my arms and take my hands. He led my to a bench nearby and we sat. I think he remembers this bench. He looked at me with love in his eyes and a crooked grin on his face. What is he thinking?

"What?" I chuckled.

"You look really beautiful, you know that?" I must have blushed because he started to snicker uncontrollably. "I'm telling the truth. I think you're th emost beautiful woman I have ever seen."

"You're making me blush," I giggled.

"I like it when you blush," he confessed, looking at his deathly hands. "Brandy, can I ask you a question? It's been eating away at my mind all day."

"Sure. What is it?"

"When did you realize that you loved me? I mean....when did you know? How did you know?" I smiled and took his hand in mine. I stared him in the eyes and kissed his hand.

"I remember that night when I realized that I loved you. It was...there was a lot going on that day," I stalled and looked away for a second. "Um, me and you were hanging out with Aleena and Rachel, you'll meet them soon, and my cell phone rang. I forget where we were but people gave me looks when it rang. It was Sophia. She had gotten a call from my friend in Abington. My sister...her boyfriend hit her really bad," my voice became choked into my throat and tears were welling in my eyes. "She had to go to the hospital and I started crying. I was shaking. And had your arms around me and I was pressed up against your chest and you kept saying that everything was going to be okay. And you calmed me down. And I remember looking into your eyes and you said 'I love you, Brandy. Always remember that.' and right then, right there, I knew that I loved you back." I felt warm tears rolling down my face. That day was bad, yet it had a surprising twist to it. And I felt a cold hand wipe those tears away.

"Is your sister okay?" Ville asked. I can tell he wanted to cry.

"Yeah, she's okay. I haven't really heard a lot from her lately. The last time I heard from her was at your funeral."

"And you knew that you loved me then, at that moment?" his eyes grew bigger, like doe eyes. I nodded and leaned in to kiss him. I felt him smile into the kiss. He made me smile as well.

"What?" I giggled.

"You need to call Gerard." He reminded me.

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

********************************************************************************************

(later that day)

It was about 10 pm and Ville and I are walking through the cemetery. I don't know why the cemetery. Maybe it has to do with him being a reaper and all. We've been talking all day. I can't quite say he's got back a lot of memories, but he has often reminded me of a lot.

I enjoy spending my time with him. I love him. To death.

"Tell me more about my singing career," Ville demanded in an innocent childs tone.

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"What's your favorite song by my band?" I can count all the teeth in his mouth by the big smile on his face.

"Hmmm, well, I have a lot of favorite songs.Though,  it would have to come between 'Pretending,' 'The Sacrament', 'Gone With The Sin', and 'When Love And Death Embrace.'" I listed. I really do love those songs. I remember, at nights right before we would go to sleep, he would sing them to me to make it easier for me to rest. Especially after a stressful day. I miss him singing to me.

"Maybe one of these days I can hear one of my songs."

"Yeah, maybe," I stopped in mid walk. A huge ass lightbulb just went off in my head. I have an idea. But I don't know if it's a good one or not. "Ville?"

"Hmmm?"

"How would you like to meet the rest of the band?"

 

to be continued....

 

Sorry I haven't written in a couple days....it's just one of those times when I get really creative and the whole plot line comes to me and I can't find a way to put it into words....you know? But I think I know where to lead this....I hope you like this chapter...

***********************************************************************************************

"Ville, please tell me. It has always plagued my mind. Maybe if you tell me....it will put my mind at ease," I begged, standing up, trying to make my eyes meet Ville's. Damn he's tall.

Ville pu this hands in his pockets and took a step back. He looked down at his feet and sighed heavily. This can't be good. I've learned by the constant sighing, nothing is ever good. His hair fell over his eyes as looked back up at me. There was a certain glistening in Ville's green eyes, but what kind of glisten? Is it good or is it bad?

"Brandy," he said in his usual soothing, suave voice, a voice I always love to hear. A voice that makes my heart jump out of my chest whenever it is spoken. A voice that is beautiful, even if it's sad. "Brandy, I..."

The door bursted open and in walked Ash, Dave, Vaughn, and Andrew. Fuck, they ALWAYS walk in at the wrong moment. I rolled my eyes and my head clasped on Ville's chest.

"Hi guys," I grumped. Ville put his arms around me again and whispered in my ear.

"We'll talk about this later, alright?" he whispered so smoothly. I only nodded and sat back down at the end of Gerards bed. I looked over at Gerard, he seemed to be intrigued by all that is going on, but I can also sense the sadness on his face. I still haven't told him that I knew he loved me. I love him back, but only as a friend.

"So, you were going to explain why the world seems to think that Ville's back...." I said, trailing off. I glared out the door to where the nurses station is. That stupid dumb...

"Yeah, apparently one of the nurses had called the media and told them that Ville is here, with you, visiting Gerard," Andrew started. He went over to the window and a pissed off chuckle escaped out of his mouth. "And now the media is outside, Hoping to catch a glimpse of you two."

"What?!" I screeched. I went over to the door and closed it and the blinds to all the windows in the room. "What the fuck! don't they have any decentcy? I mean for fucks sake! Gerards hurt and plus, there are probably a lot of people trying to get to the hospital and can't because they're blocking everything! God!"

"Woah, calm down," Ash gasped form across the room. How can I calm down?! They know about Ville for fucks sake! "We can find another way out."

"But I can't leave Gerard. He's hurt. And there are obviously no ways out other than where those dickheads are." I sighed, leaning against the door. I slid down and sat on the floor with my head in my hands. I have a massive headache.

"Brandy," Gerard finally chimed in. I looked up at Gerard. He had a serious look on his face. One look I've seen a lot lately. "Go. I'm fine. Find a way out of here and call the media and say it was all a hoax, okay? Hide back at Bam's house or somewhere."

"Gerard..." I started to argue. For some reason, I knew I wasn't going to win this...at all.

"As your best frined, I command you to do so. Now go and call me when you make it out. Or call one of these guys."

Ville was infront of me in a flash. He knelt down and stroked my hair again. He took my elbow and helped me back up. I moaned when I was off the ground. I didn't want to move to tell you the truth.

"But there's no way out." I murmured under my breath. I heard a slight chuckle come from Ville's beautiful mouth. To my surprise, I looked angered at his chuckiling. "What?" I demanded to know. I don't like being laughed at.

"Do you forget what I am? I'm a reaper. I can magically poof to wherever it is I need to go in one second flat. Just tell me where to go and I'll take you there," He smiled hugely. Holy shit, I did forget he was a reaper. It's not my fault. There's WAY toooooo much going on. I put my hand on Ville's shoulder and leveled myself to his ear. I whispered in his ear and he grinned.

"Okay," he whispered back to me.

"Remember to call me." Gerard reminded us.

"Okay," I smiled." I'll call you when we get there."

 

to be continued....

Holy shizz....I just realized that I'm writing like 3 stories at the SAME DAMN TIME! How weird is that? And I just realized that....haha....I'm so slow....

Well, of course you all know about "Love Reaper" and then there's the story in English "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" (which is also one of my fav MCR songs), and then there's this one that I'm writing in one of my journals...it's a strange one....it's not a love triangle....it's a fricken love SQUARE! but ya'll know about it soon enough.....and yes...it will be after the ones I'm posting right now....lol....And remember I said I was going to repost the first "Romeo Is Dead" becuz my sis deleted the first one? Damn....it's gonna be four soon....I'm such a busy little bee....lmao

HAPPY EASTER PEOPLE! MUWHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I MADE SOME PRETTY BANNERS FOR YA'LL (CUZ i TRIED TO SEND 'EM TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TODAY SO I THOUGHT I WOULD POST 'EM IN A JOURNAL! AND WHY THE HELL AM I WRITING IN CAPS? OH WELL!)

I hope you enjoy you holiday!!! I love you all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...There is always something to bring me hope and laughter. My Chemical Romance. They are truely heroes. Not just heroes of mine, but heroes to all the fans that were saved by the five bravest men in the universe.

Through tears and laughter....through heartbreak and romance....and for being there when I needed them most....I want to say thank you to the guys. They were there for me when I had overcome one of the hardest obsticles of my life....and though, right now, I am still facing the repercussions of that obsticle, they are still here for me. And that is the most anyone has ever done for me. I was meant to hear their music and take in the lyrics for a reason, to save me from my demons that have haunted me for years.

I've been thinking about this for a long time and I know that one day I may or may not meet the guys in person. And that is probably one of the toughest things I had ever thought about because I feel like I owe a lot to the guys from what they have done for me. I would not be here, right now, if it weren't for them.

They have done so much, I can't even say. But, hopefully one day they'll see this and let it sink into their hearts. They were there for me the first time I have ever told anybody that I was being abused. They were there for me everytime I cried at night because of my dad being the asshole that he is.They were there for me when I was in the hospital. And they are here for me now, because I am still facing the past, the present, and the future.

So thank you MCR, for saving my life and being there for me. That is all I could ever Hope for.

 

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey

    

"What happened? What's wrong?" Gerard asked frantically as I turned around, sighing, with a tear rolling down my cheek.

"That fuckin' nurse told the media that Ville was back," I sniffled, looking at Ville. I walked to the bed and sat down at the end of it. "Dave told me. And he asked if you were really back but I know he knows you're here because he saw you last night and.....fuck...."

"It's alright, darling," Ville whispered to me. Walking up to me and wiping the tears off my face. "It's just another bump in the long dirt road. We can get through this."

"No, Ville," I choked. "You don't understand. When you died, shit like this just spread and all I wanted to do was mourn your death but they kept being fuckin' assholes and wouldn't leave me alone so I couldn't and....and n-now they know you're back...for now...and they won't let me and you be together...and I can't do this, Ville," I cried hysterically. "It's so hard. I can't go through this again! I can't lose you again!"

"You are not going to lose me again. I promise you that, my love, I promise," He stated, taking my hand in his and kneeling down before me to meet my eyes. "Just remember this, Brandy, just rememebr this. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING will tear us apart again. I promise...I swear...nothing will keep us apart. I would rather die a thousand times then ever leave your side. I love you."

"Awww!" Gerard randomly 'awwwed' after what Ville said. I cracked a little smile and fought back my tears. God, I hope he's right. I hope nothing tears us apart again.

"Ville," I whispered in his ear.

"What?" he asked, stroking my hair with his loose hand.

"What was your decision that night? Do you remember?"

"Yes, I do remember..." he aid...trailing off at the end.

"What did you decide?"

"Ummm..."

 

to be continued.....

********************************************************************************************

ohhh....I made it short haha....now...ask yourself this question....

What do YOU think he decided???

As I said in the last journal...I'm doing a dreamhouse project in Spanish....Now...I already know what it's going to look like. So, I'll describe it to ya'll....

My 'bedroom': Will be MCR based. MCR everywhere! Posters, bedspread and shizzle....cuz I'm an MCR FREAK!

Guest Rooms: Will be based on the bands Taking Back Sunday, The Used, HIM, The Rasmus, and Avenged Sevenfold...becuz I love them and it would be super.

My Bathrooms: Will be based on the bands Bullet For My Valentine, Three Days Grace, and Cobra Starship (imagine going to the bathroom and looking up and seeing a poster of Gabe Saporta staring down at you.....creepy right?)

My Kitchen: Will be The Academy Is...based...oh yeah...lol

My Attic: Will be Aiden based and also my art room cuz it's sexi as hell!

My basement: Will be based and scene models and other models (i.e. Audrey Kitching, Atilla, Zui Suicide, Randy Romance, ect ect ect..)

My Sunroom: Will be RuinGloria based....I love them guys! They friggin' rock!

My Living Room: Will be False Start based.....so I have enough room to dance to their songs...lmao

My Dining Room: Will be The 69 Eyes based.....who wouldn't want to eat while looking at pics and listening to The 69 Eyes...??

Office: Will be Papa Roach based.....for serious....do I need to explain this one? It's friggin' Papa Roach people!

My Rose Garden (back yard&porch): Will be Apocalyptica based....for shizzle.

My 'Snack Room': Will be Paramore based....cuz Hayley is delicious...lmao

And my house will be vampiresque with Gargoyles around the house and a big gate protecting it (cuz I'm paramoid about shit like that). And my house will be located in Helsinki, Finland (hopefully).

Yeah...I'm so high tech....lol

What's YOUR dream house?

 

Know how to say these words in Spanish...I really suck at Spanish and I need HELP!

• Curtains
• Window
• Gates
• Rose Garden
• Fountain
• Statue
• Avenged Sevenfold
• My Chemical Romance
• Taking Back Sunday
• HIM
• The Rasmus
• False Start
• Aiden
• The Academy Is...
• Cobra Starship
• Bullet For My Valentine
• Three Days Grace
• RuinGloria
• Gargoyles
• Apocalyptica
• Paramore
• Master Bedroom
• Living Room
• The Used
• Dining Room
• Porch
• Basement
• Attic
• Gothic
• Scene
• The 69 Eyes
• Pathways
• First Floor
• Second Floor
• Third Floor
• Snack Room
• Office
• Papa Roach
• Closet
• Mirror
• Refridgerator
• Shelf
• Dresser
• Poster
• Couch
• Entertainment System
• Lamp
• Chairs
• Desk
• Computer

For those who are wondering about some of the words....I'm doing a "Dreamhouse" project and it's due next Wednesday and basically my house is going to be music themed....hell yeah

A tear rolled down my cheek. I'm still not over that night. Who could ever get over something like that? He just died right in front of me and I thought it was all my fault for the longest time. And I still kinda do think it was my fault that he got hit. If I just let him sleep...if I had just kept the light off.

Ville moved closer to me, and Gerard took my hand.

"Brandy," Ville whispered to me. "Is that why you blamed yourself for Gerards accident? Did you think that it was your fault that I died?"

All I could do was nodd. I never really spoken to anybody about it. I wanted to go to therapy, but they don't understand. No one did, not even me. And now Gerard got hurt because he and I had gotten into an fight, how could I not think I was at fault? I swear I'm fuckin bad luck around guys. Especially those I love and care for.

"It's not your fault," Both Gerard and Ville said in unison. They galnced at each other for a moment, then back at me.

"Look," Ville said, wiping a tear off my face with his thumb as it was rolling down my cheek. He kissed my forehead, and looked into my eyes. "It was never your fault...ever. You are not at fault for anything, love. You have to know that."

"Brandy," Gerard started to say. "Don't ever blame yourself for anything like this because it was never your fault, and it will never be your fault."

"Even when I'm not here," he said, I looked down but he pushed my chin back up gently. "I know I'm speaking for both of us when I say we love you...to death. And we will always be there for you," he leaned into my ear and whispered. "And I will fight for you."

I smiled to myself when he said that. He pulled away and my cell phone rang at the best moment. Ha, right?

"Who is it?" Gerard asked.

"It's Davie," I said. I picked up my phone and quickly went to the window. "Hi Davie."

"How did you know it was me?" he asked curiously.

"Caller ID," I silently giggled. "What do you want?"

"Is it true?" he said curtly.

"Is what true?"

"If Ville really back?"

"What? Dave, how'd you know?" I questioned, somewhat shocked.

"Well, Andrew, Ash, and Vaughn told me that they saw it on the news. Apparently some nurse chick called the media saying that Ville was back and was visiting Gerard with his lovely fiancee," Davie explained in one breath. Son of a bitch. The brunette nurse, I knew she recognized him.

"Is it true though, Brandy? Is he really back?"

"Dave, just...come over here....now...please. I'll explain....bye." I hung up before he could answer. Tears were in my eyes again. This day just keeps on getting better and better.

 

to be continued....

Yes, I had to write a story in English. It's for my vocab terms which I probably used wrong but lol. I'll italisize(sp?) my vocab words if I remember....I hope you like it. And there will be another part...don't worry. And this is not replacing "Love Reaper" for those who are thinking that. It is simply a story that poured out of me for English. lol...."Love Reaper" chapter 18 will be up soon :)

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Today is my first day of school. How wonderful, right? Wrong. I hate school, especially since I'm going to a new school, in a new town, in a new state. Monroeville is the name of the name of the new town. Sounds innocent enough...I guess.

"Violetta! Get up! It's time for school!" My annoying older brother called from outside my bedroom. It was his first day as well. Though, he will probably make probably more friends than I and have a few girlfriends as well. People always seem to acquiesce him.

I slowly got up and headed straight for my closet. I pulled out my Apocalyptica t-shirt, my plaid skinnies, and my plaid studded belt. I quickly got dressed, put on my make up, tied my hair back into a messy pony tail, and headed out to my brothers car. Thank God he's old enough to drive, I hate riding in school buses.

"You look alluring,"  My older brother, M (short for Matt) commented. He's in a blithe mood today. He's well dressed today. Well, my definition of 'well dressed'. M was wearing a tight-ish black shirt, showing off his muscles, jeans and a belt.

And who could forget his sunglasses and trademark bandana. His hair was a little askew, but he always wears it like that anyway.

"Hm, you don't seem to be as contentious today as you were yesterday, M," I taunted. "Did you finally hop off your menstrual cycle or did you take anti-bitch pills?"

M chuckled a bit. He's going to fire back but it won't be as good. I'm confident about that.

"Why? You want me to be mean?" he started to tease back. "Okay, you look disheveled." I was surprised. That was the first time he called me ugly. Big brothers are jerks.

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(lunch-ish)

I made it lunch so far. I mean, it's only sixth period. Two more periods left until the school day is done. Thank you Lord. School is tough. At least I made a few new friends. They basically have all of my classes. Yay.

"Vi," one of my new friends, Phoebe, called out to me as I closed the door to my locker. My other mew friends (Rose, Sheila, Val, Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Ray, and Bob) were all standing beside her.

"I'll be right there!" I yelled back to her. I heard the locker next to me open. The school people had placed M's locker next to mine. I see he has made some new friends as well.

"Hi Vi, how was your day so far?" M asked curiously. His four new friends all looked at me. Wow, they're cute.

"It's going good so far. I see you made some new friends already." I smiled, waving at the four guys who waved back at me.

"I see you've made a few new friends as well. I thought you weren't going to make any." M cruelly teased.

"Oh, I'm so crestfallen!" I stuck out my tongue at him while walking away to catch up with my friends.

"She seems pleasant," one of M's friends commented about me.

"Yeah, but she could be ral garrulous sometimes. Trust me, that's not pleasant." M sighed, rolling his eyes under his sunglasses.

"She's really beautiful," another one of his friends stated. M whirled around to face him.

"Syn, she's my little sister," M began to warn. "Don't covet her." I guess M does care about me.

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(at the lunch table)

I sighed as I sat down next to Phoebe at the lunch table.

"What's wrong?" she asked, taking a bite out of her ham sandwich.

"Exponents in math. I really suck at them." I stated, taking out my math binder and flopping it down on the table.

"I'm pretty good at exponents," Val said sitting down on the other side of me. "I'll help you."

"Thanks," I sighed. I looked up and saw a familiar looking jerk taking the seat in front of me.

"Vi, do you have some money? I forgot mine at home." M begged, taking his sunglasses off. He only takes his sunglasses off when he eats, sleeps or takes a shower. I know, weird.

"I do," Val said entusiastically taking her wallet out but not taking her eyes off of my brother. I rolled my eyes at her; M had a seductive smirk on his face.

"Thanks," M said taking the money. "I owe you."

"I-it's okay. Don't worry about it." Val stuttered.

"Thanks again," he smiled and then looked at me. "I'll see you later."

"Bye M." I said as he walked away to join his friends at the other table. Val's eyes followed him until he sat down.

"Ew." I said, causing Val to look at me.

"Ew what?" she asked.

"You like my brother?" I said loudly, though I already knew the answer.

"Tell the world why don't you!" Val said with a hint if venom in her voice. She looked back at the table M was at and raised her left eyebrow.

"Ewww..." she giggled.

"What?" I sighed.

"I think your brothers' friend is staring at you." she giggled again.

"Which one?" I asked curiously, looking at wach of them at the table.

"Th eone wearing the fedora," she pointed out. "Synyster."

"Synyster?" I questioned, repeating his name. I looked over at him, he was looking back at me with a crooked smile on his face. I swear, under the shadow of his fedora, he winked at me. All I could do is look back at my math work, blushing a brilliant shade of crimson.

 

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how do you like it???muwhahaha....lol

 

I don't know why, but whenever someone tells me that they're going to a concert...I always say "Tell (insert band name/member here) that I say Hi"....and everyone I say that to is always like "How in the hell am I going to meet (insert band name/member here)?" and everytime I tell someone to tell the band that I said Hi....they meet the friggin band...it's happened FOUR times already! Holy Fuckin' shizz! lol!

 

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey

I had rushed my way to the hospital, with Ville of course. My driving was crazy, I'm surprised that we weren't pulled over. My head was spinning. Is it my fault that he got in an accident? This is so hard....this can't be happening. Not again.

"Brandy?" Ville asked questionally. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

"I-I don't know...." I sniffled, holding back my tears.

Ville started to stroke my hair. His touch was so calming.

We arrived at the hospital in under 10 minutes. It would usually take about and hour to get there, but not this time. I quickly jumped out of the car and made my way into the hospital with Ville following shortly behind me.

We made our way to the nurses station. I was so out of breath that I couldn't speak. I was so scared too.

"May I help you?" a familiar brunette nurse asked us.

"Yes, please," Ville said for me. "Can you tell us what room Gerard Way is in?"

"Um, r-room one-oh-one," the nurse stuttered. I think she recognized him.

"Thanks," Ville took my hand and led to me Gerards room. It was like he knew the hospital like the back of his hand. I think he's been here too often.

"Are you sure you wanna see him?" Ville asked we, resting his head on my forehead.

"Yes, Ville, he's my best friend." Ville opened the door for and I stepped in and was suddenly annoyed but the sound of the heart rate monitor. Those things always annoy me.

I almost cried when I saw Gerard. He had an IV in his arm, a bandage around his head, and his face was bruised. I made my way over to him, Ville sat himself next to the window in Gerards room. I took his hand, and I felt him stir a little. Thank God he's not in a coma.

"Gerard?" I whispered, almost in tears.

"Hm?" he said, opening his eyes a peek, only to see me.

"I'm so sorry," I weeped. "I never meant for this to happen, I'm so sorry."

Gerard began to sit himself up, getting a glimpse of Ville as he did. He didn't seem to be annoyed by Ville's presence here.

"Brandy," Gerard said, but only in a whisper. I got him some water and he drank it. "It's not your fault. I let my anger get the best of me and I took it out on you. I'm the one that should be sorry. You didn't deserved to get yelled at like that."

I looked down, then back up at Gerard. "I'm still sorry, though. I should've told you, even if you didn't believe me. You're my best friend, you deserved to know sooner."

"Well, I know now. And I believe you," Gerard looking at Ville who was looking back. Ville had a disturbed look on his face. "Explain this to me, please?"

I sighed, ignoring Ville's look, and appointed my direction back to Gerard. "As I said before, Ville's a reaper, Gerard. I saw him that night when I was going to the hospital and then a week later after visiting Jade. He didn't know who he was, and I told him. Now, he's back, at least for now, to gain back his memories." Wow, when I say that out loud, it kinda sounds ridiculous.

"Oh," Gerard said looking at Ville and then back at me. "Well, it kinda looks like he just remembered something. Either that or he wants to fuck you."

I looked over at Ville, his facial expression didn't change. But I giggled, I just realized that gerard insulted me. But then my face got serious again. What did Ville remember?

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(Flashback memory)

I was laying on mine and Ville's bed back at our old house that we owned. It was about 2 in the morning. Ville still wasn't home. He was getting me really worried. Though, some nights he does stay out late with friends. I was reading a book on Elizabeth Bathory, the chick who killed 600 beautiful peasant girls just to drain them of their blood. She was a medeval vampire as they say. She bathed in the blood, drank the blood, and used it as a skin cream to keep herself looking young. Ha, didn't work.

I heard the front door open, and heavy footsteps coming closer to the bedroom door. I put down my book and sat up. Ville walked through the door and he looked tired as hell.

"Hi sweety, how was your day?" I greeted him. I don't think he had a good day.

He flopped down on the bed, laying down with his hands under his head. He grunted a little.

"It fuckin sucked," he answered, looking up at me with big puppy dog eyes.

"Why? What happened?" I asked, laying next to him and kissing him on the cheek.

"Well, I'm going back on tour," he started. I was so confused, he loved going on tour.

"But, you love going on tour," I said, raising my head and meeting his gaze.

"I do, don't get me wrong, it's just..." he sighed and wrapped his arms around me. "I can't bring you this time."

"Why not?" I gasped, sounding a little harsh as I said it. I took a few breaths to calm myself down. "How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know, 6 months?" he answered questionally.

"But, why can't I go?" I sounded so sad.

"Remember what happened last time? When you got really sick from being on tour for so long? Well....I don't want that happening to you again. It's better if you stay," Ville said, looking away from my pained face.

"It's not fair," I whispered. he looked back at me, but he looked a little more angry then sad. That startled me.

"No, it's not fair, but I don't want you to get hurt, okay?" he said with venom in his voice.

"I just don't wanna not see you for 6 months. I'll miss you so much," I sniffled.

"I know, I'll miss you too. But I have to go. We haven't toured in awhile I miss it, a lot." Ville sighed, trying to calm himself down.

"Well, can I go just for a little while?"

"Brandy," Ville grunted. "Can we not talk about this tonight?"

"But, I want to talk about this. I wanna know if I can see you while you're on tour, Ville." My voice was getting harsh again.

"Just go to sleep," he stated, turning off the lamp next to the bed.

I reached over and turned it back on. I looked into his eyes, he was getting aggravated.

"Ville...please?" I said innocently. "I need to know."

"You know what, I'm going for a walk." He said, getting up and putting his shoes back on and grabbing his coat. Before he left, he came back over to me and gave me a quick kiss and headed out the door.

He walked for about an hour, quietly talking to himself in finnish.

"Taytya mina jatlaa han ajaa? Tama ko thyma. Konjakki taytya ajaa lla me. Mina rakastaa han. Millainen jos han saadas kohtalokas, vaikka?" (translation: 'Should I let her go? This is stupid. Brandy should go with me. I love her. What if she gets ill, though?')

Ville started to cross the street back to mine and his house. He's been basically walking all around the block arguing with himself about whether or not to let me go with him. I still don't know his decision.

As Ville was walking across the street, he noticed two very bright speeding headlights coming toward him. They didn't slwo down.

I had gotten a call from the hospital about an hour later, telling me that Ville was there and that he had gotten hit by a drunk driver who they had in custody at the moment.

Though I was in my PJ's, I fastly drove my way to the hospital. Stopping to ask for his room number and then running to his room. I had tears pouring down my face. Why didn't I just go to sleep?

"Ville?" I said as I go in the room. He had bandages everywhere. The heart rate monitor made an annoying noise and he looked so bad. "Ville, I'm sorry. Please wake up, I love you."

"I love you, too." Ha managed to say. Though, it was muffled, I could still hear him.

All fo a sudden, I heard the heart rate monitor flat line, and doctors and nurses ran into the room. I didn't know what was happening. It was all happening so fast.

And right there, he died. And I was all alone.

 

to be continued.....

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sorry, if this sucks....I'm kinda a bit rushy cuz I have to study for my math test and my mom erased my original chapter 17 so I had to re-write. And I'm still learning finnish so the finnish is a little off...lol

Does anybody know where I can find the perfect formal dress for cheap? Possibly an online store and what not.....

thank You very much :)  (i'm trying to find a dress for me for my formal...I'm everyone's date this year lol)

Add me!!!!

Thanks! :)

 

And I'm sorry I haven't written my fanfic in a couple days.....I have tests ALL this week....and they were MAJOR tests...ugh...well....i'm hoping to post tonight!

I saw A7X's video for Afterlife....it was on youtube or some shit like that and I was hoping to post it on here...But sadly, I can't. Damn. But I do believe that the video is on their myspace. It's a good video.

Ville and I lyed on my bed. My head on Ville's chest and my hands clasped into his. I was listening to the shallow nothingness of his chest. I wish I could hear his heartbeat again.

Ville had calmed me down a bit after the fight I had with Gerard. I have never seen him so angry. But, he doesn't normally act like this. I know that he wouldn't be truly content with what Ville is but he would never act so angry. But, I am at fault as well. I should have told him sooner. Though, he didn't believe me before, I still should of told him.

I nuzzled my head deep into Ville's chest, he clung to me tightly and kissed the top of my head. At least things are getting a little closer to what they used to be like.

"Brandy?" Ville asked, breaking our silence which lasted nearly an hour.

"Hmmm?" I grunted, hinting that I was little tired and worn out from the fight.

"How did we meet?" I smile when he asked that question. That was probably one of the best memories of my life. I leaned up a little, turning around and crawling on top of him, becoming face-to-face with him. He was smiling and so was I.

"Well," I began. "What I recall is that I was innocently reading a book in the park, not really paying attention to anything or anyone around me. And suddenly, out of nowhere, a blue frisbee hit me in the head, knocking my book to the ground. And out of nowhere, you run up to me, pick up my book and your frisbee, laugh at the mark it made on my head, apologized and then introduced yourself to me." I smiled brightly as a big smile grew on his face.

I could tell in his eyes that he had a lot of questions to ask me tonight. Probably to distract me from Gerard.

"When did I ask you out?" he asked so innocently and cutely.

I giggled at the memory that popped into my mind. Ville began to play with my hair, twirling it in hsi fingers and staring into my eyes as I stared back into his.

"Hmmm...well, a couple days after we first met. You and I were hanging out at the playground part of the park, on the swings if I'm correct. And, it was your turn to push me on the swing and I stole your beanie. The look on your face was priceless. Anyways, I darted across the park, with the beanie on my head and you catch up to me. All I remember seeing is you fly and land on top of me. And then, after a few minutes of trying to get your beanie back, you asked me out, and I said yes."

"How do you remember all of this and what is a beanie?" he giggled, outlining my face with his index finger.

"I can't help but to remember all the good times I had with you, and how much I love you," I smiled, leaning in and kissing him. I pulled away and snickered, remembering his second question. "And your beanie, is your hat. You loved that thing and wore it a lot. Hold on, I'll get it for you..."

I got up from my comfortable position on Ville and opened one of my boxes and pulled out the beanie. I made my way back to him and got back into position.

"This is your beanie," I said, putting it on his head and adjusting it to the way he liked to wear it.

Ville smiled, kissing me again. I put my head back on his chest, feeling more relief than I did minutes ago. I'm so tired.

"Brandy?" he asked again, I couldn't help but giggle this time when he said my name.

"Yes?" I said.

"When was the first time that we kissed?" his smile never faded away from his face.

"On our first date," I replied curtly.

"What was our first date like?"

"It was really romantic. You took me blindfolded, ay midnight, to a picnic in the park, where we first met. You made dinner, and dessert, and you spread rose petals everywhere. The only lighting was by the moon, the stars and a few candles," I smiled and looked up at him. He seemed intrigued. "We cuddles, and talked. I remember looking at you, and you kissed me right there on the spot."

Ville grinned, wrapping his arms around me again. I fell asleep that way, laying on him with his arms around me.

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*5am the next morning*

I yawned, stretching my hands out before me, feeling around for Ville. He wasn't there. I slowly, but stealthily, got up and crawled out of bed. I looked about the room, he's not there.

"Ville?" I said, walking into the hallway, yawning from being tired.

"Over here, love." I heard him call from the living room. I made my way down the stairs, making sure that I didn't trip over any steps or fall down the stairs.

I entered the living room with a confused look on my face. Sophia was still here, and Frank was here as well as Bob, Ray, and Mikey. Where's Gerard? He's probably still mad at me.

"Brandy," Sophia said in a whispered tone. Mikey stood up, with a despaired look on his face. I glanced over at Ville, he looked down at the floor. This can't be good.

"Brandy, Gerard got in a car accident last night."

 

to be continued...

Well...I went to my friends house last night for her birthday party. Her and my other friend are working together for a movie project in their drama class. lol...apparently they're making a cheap documentary about a character that resembles Hannibal Lecter. How does Britney Spears tie into this? I have no idea....but I play Britney Spears in the "documentary". It's supposed to be so cheap that it's funny....but the real funny part is that I make a great Britney...lmao. But this does not explain why her name is written on my forehead does it? No. Well, I'll tell ya. We found to baby dolls to play the part as her kids and apparently she (or I) have trouble remembering their names. So, we found pink duct tape and a sharpie and wrote their names on the duct tape and put the duct tape on their foreheads. But this still doesn't explain why her name is on my forehead. ha. Well, since we thought that in the fake doc. she forgets her kids names, well put her name on my head like she (I) forgot her name...lol...but that's not the funny part. My friend Rachel and I wrote it in the mirror and it's backwards....her name is backwards on my head. But if I look in the mirror I can see it the right way...rotflol.

And for those who love Britney, it's only s spoof. Nothing personal. It comedy, don't be offended.

I stared at Gerard as he drew closer to me, but tried to stay away from Ville. Gerard didn't look spooked or hurt...h elooked really pissed. I guess I can't really blame him, though he is one of the many who didn't believe me when I said before that I saw Ville.

Gerard's eyes blazed with fury. He never really scared me before, creeped me out maybe, but not scared. I've never been so scared of him.

"Can I talk to you....alone?" Gerard asked, but barely in a whisper. He was so mad that he could barely speak. He walked off to the hallway near the staircase, I followed. Ville began to follow but I told him to stay.

I dragged my feet as I slowly walked to the hallway. Gerard was pacing back and forth. He stopped and looked up when I approached him. I felt my stomach drop, i was afraid of what he was going to say.

"What....how....explain this to me..." he started, trying to find words. I gulped and searched through words in my mind to explain this to him.

"Umm...I...I..." I started. "He-he's a reaper." I blurted out. By the look on Gerards face, I don't think he believed me. I looked down at my feet and felt him move closer to me.

"When were you going to tell me about this?" he questioned with venom in his voice.

"Tomorrow....maybe..." I confessed. I hate it when he's mad at me.

"Oh, tomorrow....and when did you find out about this?" he kept interrogating me.

"Well, i saw him that night at the concert when I fainted. But no one believed me. Then I saw him the night I was going to the hospital, he was going to reap me but Sophia saved me. And then I saw him at the hospital and...and then he came back." I explained in only one breath.

"You didn't tell me the other times, Brandy? I'm your best friend! I deserve to know!" his sudden outburst startled me, nearly to tears. I don't know what to say. I just looked up at him with pain in my eyes.

"I-I know, but I thought you wouldn't believe me...and..." I paused, knowing what I was going to say. He doesn't know that I know though. Fuck, this is super hard.

"And what?" he snapped.

"I just thought you weren't going to believe me..." I lied. He knows I'm lying.

"Is that it? You were afraid that I wasn't going to believe you? There's something else....I know it..." he hissed. he looked me up and down. I think my dear caught in headlights look kinda gave me away. I should work on that. "Tell me. I deserve to know. I'm your best friend." he reiterated.

"You already know..." I whispered. He moved to stand right next to me, with his arms folded and his eyes burning into my face.

"What do I already know?" he said, calmig himself down but I can still sense the little bit of anger in his voice.

"I'd rather not say." I stated, not looking at him.

"Brandy....please, tell me...."

"I know that...*sigh*...look...." I started to get upset myself. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. You're my best friend and you deserve to know. But now you do, okay? I just...it's hard for me too."

"But why didn't you tell me? And don't say it's because you were afraid that I wouldn't believe you. It may be part of the reason but there's something more. I want...no...I need to know. Now." He commanded. I stood silent. Not looking up at him.Sometimes, the worst thing to say is nothing at all.

I watched Gerard drive off in anger. I didn't mean to upset him, it would upset him more if he knew that I knew that he loved me...I think.

I walked back to my room, upset, with Ville following. He's the only one I want to talk to right now. I sat on my bed, my hands folded between my knees, my hair flowing over my face, and my head bent down like I was praying. Ville sat down beside me and draped his arm over my shoulders and the other around my waist, hugging me.

"What happened?" Ville asked in a sweet little voice.

"We had a fight," I choked up.

"About what?"

"That I didn't tell him about you sooner and the reasons why I didn't tell him." I can't lie to Ville,though I may not want to tell Ville about some things, it still comes out.

"Why didn't you tell.....oh," Ville sounded as if he just remembered something. "He loves you and he would get jealous if I was back, right?"

"I don't know, Ville. He loves me, I know that. But I wasn't really expecting him to react that way." I started to cry. I hate making people upset, it upsets me.

"Sssshhhh," Ville shushed ma and squished me hard to his chest. "It'll be okay, love. It'll be okay."

 

to be continued...

 

I sighed in relief as I realized that it wasn't Gerard who had walked through the door. Ash, Andrew, Vaughn, Dave, and Adam came prancing through. When they saw Ville, I was expecting them to react...so well. I mean, they did look a little creeped out at first and then excited...just how Bam reacted.

"Which one is Gerard?" Ville whispered in my ear as my head shot up from his chest.

"None, thank God," I said, glancing up at Ville and realized that he didn't remember them. "That one is Andrew, next to him is Dave, then Ash, then Vaughn, and then Adam."

"Oh, okay." Ville said simply as I started to get up, he followed.

I approached the five wide-eyed guys, laughing a little with each step. The look on their faces....priceless. They all stared at Ville, then at me, then Ville, then me again. I have a feeling that a lot of questions are going to be asked.

"Dude," Davie started. I think he;s going to have a Frank moment. He started to poke Ville in the shoulder, and then atrted to pet his arm. "He's real...I think. Am I dead?"

"No," I said nonchalantly. "I cast a spell and brought him back to life."

"Holy fuck, seriously?"

"Dave, you are so gullible." Adam cracked up. As he moved over to one of the couches and sat. "Man, I have like a million questions but none of them seem to come to mind."

"I know how you feel," Andrew said.

"Me too," Ash sighed.

They both sat next to Adam and got comfortable as if they were going to stay awhile. Vaughn stared at Ville questioningly.

"What are you? A ghost?" he asked innocently.

"A reaper," Ville stated with no change of expression in his face.

"Oh, why aren't you reaping?" Vaughn asked.

"Because my elders are relieving me from my reaping duties temporarily until I get my memories back," Ville said with an acute smile on his face.

"You lost your memories?"

"Long story, I think." I started to shake a little. I was nervous a little, scared, freaked out. This had....distracted Ville. "What's wrong?"

I stared at the door, the silhouette outlined by a dim light. A familiar silhouette. A confused one at that. I looked down, knowing that the figure was pained.

"Brandy..." Ville whispered, rubbing my back.

"Oh, Hi Gerard," Sophia said popping up out of her chair.

 

to be continued...

Ville, Jade, Bam, Sophia, and I all sat in the living room, talking about the past. They were mostly memories with Ville in them. I watned them not to share too much memories because...well....besides that fact I want him to stay with me for a while, I don't want him to get overwhelmed with all the memories.

"So, I was in a band called HIM...and I was the singer...okay. And I used to be an alcoholic? Right?" Ville asked with that cute little confused look on his face. I nodded. I never really liked it when he drank. I always used to tell him that he should stop because he could destroy his liver. I never really knew how hard it was to stop drinking until Ville went into rehab. He was a bit happier when he stopped drinking.

"Hmm...Is that how I died?" he asked, raising one brow.

"I don't wanna tell you how you died yet. I want you to remember everything before your death other than just telling you about your death right away." I frowned. I wish he was still alive. The room went into a sudden awkward silence. That seems to happen around me a lot. So is the weird thing/person breaking the awkward silence. My cell phone started to ring at the tune of "Vampires Will Never Hurt You" by My Chemical Romance. Gerard was calling.

"It's Gerard," I said. "I'll be right back."

I walked into the bathroom and picked up my cell.

"Hello?"

"Hi," Gerard greeted. "How are things so far?"

"It's going pretty good so far, if I do say so myself. Then again, I've only been here for a couple hours," I snickered a little. Gerard is way overprotective, but a great friend. "You don't need to worry, Gerard."

"I know. I can't help it. I always worry about you," he confessed sheepishly. I chuckled a little again. I guess I don't blame him for worrying. Things have been pretty hectic lately and I am a major klutz.

I heard someone start banging on the bathroom door. And then I heard laughing. Bam and Sophia. Jeez.

"Brandy! Open up!" Sophia called through the door.

"Hold on," I said to Gerard. I opened the door and put my hand over the mouthpiece of my cell. "What?"

"When are you going to tell Gerard" Bam asked with curiosity written all over his face.

"Tell him what?" I whispered.

"That Ville's a reaper!" Sophia barked. I shushed her and cleared my throat.

"I don't know," I sighed. I also seem to be doing that a lot. "I don't know how he'll react to....this..."

"You gotta tell him, Brandy. The poor guy is in love with you." Sophia pointed out though I already knew.

"I'll tell him tomorrow, okay?"

"How about tonight?" Bam smiled. What did Bam do?

"Bam, what did you do?"

"I called Gerard earlier and told him to come over," Bam smiled, and then the smile faded when he saw the pissed off look on my face. "It was Sophia's idea....yell at her!"

"I'll be right there....uh....Jade is calling me...." Sophia and Bam panicked in unison.

Both Sophia and Bam ran back into the living room, where they think they are safe...for now. I'll have to talk to them later.

"Gerard," I said, taking deep breaths to calm myself down. "I'll see you when you come over, bye."

I hung and stomped my way to the living room. I decided not to yell at Bam or Sophia...yet. I wanna see how this goes first. Maybe when Gerard's here, I'll tell Ville to go back into my room and wait there until Gerard leaves. Hmm, doesn't Ville have some reaping to do. Oh goodness, this is getting uncomfortable again.

I flopped down on the couch next to Ville. I glared at Sophia and Bam who were cowering next to Jade who was trying to hold back a laugh.

"I have a very strong feeling that I'm missing something," Ville stated, putting his arm around me and rubbing my arm as I layed my head on his cold chest. Why do dead guys have to be so cold to the touch? Oh well.

"Oh, well, Sophia and Bam took it upon themselves to call Gerard and invite him over," I snarled.

"But isn't Gerard your best friend? Why are you so angry?" Ville questioned in his cute little finnish accent. I raised my head and looked Ville in the eye.

"Gerard is....Kinda in love with me and I think this is going to be very uncomfortable for him," I explained as well as I could.

"What is going to be uncomfortable for him?"

"Seeing you...here...with me..."I huffed and put my head back on Ville's chest. I used to do the same thing when Ville was alive. His heartbeat would calm me down when I upset. I kind of don't have that advantage anymore. I gazed up toward the window and saw headlights pull into the driveway. I cursed under my breath, not meaning for anyone to hear but I know all of them did.

"Do you want me to hide?" Ville asked, looking into my eyes.

"No, I don't know," I groaned.

"He's going to find out sooner or later." Jade pointed out. I exhaled deeply, and nodded for Ville to stay here and not hide. Jade's right, he is going to find out sooner or later.

Knock. Knock.

Why can't he walk slower?

"You want me to get the door?" Bam asked with a bit of an attitude. I nodded yes as he stood and walked to the door. He opened it slowly as I inhaled, and as Ville hugged me tightly. Oh shit.

 

to be continued...

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I'm sorry, this is random....but...

Is it me or does it look like Gerard is getting raped onstage and enjoying it? And who is that guy? It would be really funny if it was Ville.....*end random thought*

For those who don't know, I had to go to court today. I promised to keep you guys posted on what happened. I didn't have to testify today because the Master (judge) said that spousel abuse has nothing to do with support. We have to go back to court ina couple weeks, I don't know why, but we do....sucks.

I, on the other hand, had trouble being in the same room and my so-called-father. I happened to take a seat near the door (dumb me) in the waiting room, and as soon as he came in, I had to move because I was sooo scared that he was going to try something with me. So, I sat next to my mom and her boyfriend. I looked up a few times to see that my asshole father was glaring at me the whole time, I swear it looked like he wanted to kill me, and it scared me. It scared me so much that I couldn't drink my pepsi (I'm addicted to pepsi and for me not to drink it...it's unbelieveable.) As he walked past me to enter the courtroom, it looked like he had a stick up his ass from the way he was walking. I didn't want to look at his face, but I knew he was looking at me.

And after the "trial", the attorneys were talking and asshole decided after months of fighting, he was going to pay for his car, what a dickhead. My mom and her attorney think that he's up to something becuz before, he refused to pay for it, which is totally stupid, and why would he want to pay for it now?

I don't wanna go back to court in a couple weeks. But I gotta do what I gotta do to get him out of my life.

I layed in my new bed, hoping that Ville finds his way here...to me. I wondered what he thought after we kissed. Did he remember something? This is so ...I don't know. I don't know how to put it into words. Painful? Maybe...seeing him again did pain me, it still does a little. I want to see his face so badly.

I sat up on my bed and took out my cell phone. I called Sophia, I hope she's awake. I need to talk to her.

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(meanwhile)

Sophia was in my room, going through some stuff that I had purposly left behind for when I move back after a couple of months. She was putitng some of my stuff away (I have a horrible habit of leaving stuff scattered across my room...haha.) Sophia had started to put some scattered tee's and jeans into my dresser, she folded them and put them away neatly, something I've never done in my life. It had taken her about 15-20 minutes to do so.

She sighed, looking at my now neat room. She misses me already. I can't blame her, I miss her already too. She turned to leave but something in her way scared the lving daylights out of her.

"Oh my fuckin God! Ville! You fuckin scared me!" she yelled, grasping her chest as if her heart was going to jump out of it.

"Where's Brandy? I need to tell her something..." he asked in an innocent and cheerful tone.

"At Bams. She moved in today," Sophia explained, trying to catch her breath.

"She moved?" Ville questioned. He looked sad and confused.

"She basically had no choice. Gerard made her. She said that if you stopped by to see her, she said go to Bam's house." Sophia attempted at a smile.

"I don't know where he lives," Ville confessed innocently. "I forgot."

"Don't worry, I can drive you. I know where he lives."

Ville eyes brightened up and he nodded enthusiastically as Sophia's cell phone started to ring.

"It's Brandy," she smiled. She answered the phone. "Hiya."

"Hi Sophia...I..."

"Ville's here!" she said interupting me.

"Really? Oh Thank God. I was sooo worried. Is he going to come over? I wanna see him!" I happily ranted a little before  she could answer.

"We're on our way!" Sophia hung up the phone and motioned for Ville to follow her to her car.

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(half an hour later)

I heard knocking at Bam's front door. They're here. Oh shit, Bam doesn't know! I hurried out of my bed and ran downstairs. I saw Bam making his way to the front door, but I ran faster and beat him to it.

"Whoa," Bam laughed. "Slow down! You coulda ran me over!"

I giggled a little as I opened the door. A familiar fan, Fin, and friend were standing in front of me. I had a huge smile on my face. I turned to face Bam, he saw Ville. And he went pale, looking like he had just seen a ghost. Well, he kinda did.

"Oh my..." he said very stunned. "Ville? No fuckin way..." Bam sounded more happy than shocked or scared.

"That's bam," I whispered to Ville.

"Hi," Ville said nervously.

The three entered. Hmmm....I wonder how Jade suddenly came here.

"Jade," I said with a grin on my face. "How did..."

"I was on my way here. My mum is friends with Phil and Ape. The three are going out to a show tonight. I hang out with Bam sometimes." Jade explained as she waved to Bam. "I told you Ville was a reaper."

"Haha," I laughed sarcastically."Ville, I need to talk to you."

"I was about to say the same thing." he smiled.

"Is it good news?"

"Kinda."

I took his deathly hand into the nearest hallway, alone, so we could talk. Hopefully it's good news. I need good news. I turned to face him. His eyes took my breath away. They have always done that. One day those eyes would kill me.

"Um.." he started, clearing his throat to continue. "I had spoken to my elders and..."

"Elders?" I asked, puzzled.

"They're older reapers. They have extravegent powers and have basically created all reapers in exisitence today. But anyway. Uh," he collected himself. "They said I'm allowed to see you..."

"Really?!" I gasped, jumping up to hug him. He hugged me back, then let go a little, but he still had his arms around me.

"But...they're only going to let me see you until I get all of my memories back. This time, they're letitng me keep my memories." He frowned. At that moment, I knew exactly what he remembered after the kiss we shared earlier. He remembered his love for me and mine for him. This is unfair, for the both of us.

"Ville," I said almost tearing up. "How long do you think it'll take you to remember everything?"

"I don't know. days, weeks, months..." he trailed off, seeing the tear roll down my cheek. He lifted my chin, and kissed me. "The one thing that I remember, and will never forget, is that I love you," he said as our lips parted. "And I will fight for you. No matter what."

 

to be continued...

I miss how everything used to be....years ago. Where there wasn't as many murders, rapes, roberies, or any other violent crimes. I miss how everyone used to treat each other.....with respect. I miss how people didn't have to fear for their lives when they walked outside of their houses. I miss walking past friendly people who'd say Hi to others even if they didn't know them. I miss having little or no drama in peoples lives. I miss knowing that everyday is a new day and that no one can take that away from people. I miss the park down my street, but now it's a parking lot or a new Dunkin Donuts. I miss the cute little mountain house up in the Poconos, but now it's gone and there's a new ski lodge taking it's place among with many other moutain houses. I miss going to the beach without any worries about finding trash scattered along the shore. I miss going outside to play and not having to worry about somebody kidnapping me or any other person at that. I miss going to the candy store without the fear of being shot at. I miss the old Junior High, when it wasn't labeled "Murder High." Most of all, I miss money and greed NOT ruling the world and deciding who lives and who dies.

I miss everything and anything at it's best. But now...it's seems like at distant memory to me. And though I'm only 15, I have experienced some good in my life. There have been struggles in the past, big struggles throughout the world. But we all have dealt with it and soon resolved some of those stuggles. The only fear I have left, besides my dad, is knowing that one day when I have kids, that something horrible can happen to them, something that could be prevented if everyone can work together without fighting or wars, and help resolve these issues for the next generations to follow.

 

I'm going to my friend Nikki's b-day party on March 8-9 (sleepover) apparently her and my friend Rachel have to make a "documentary" for Drama....and i'm going to be in it! I'm going to play a slutty reporter and....Britney Spears! ha! Yes, we're recording it! I'm going to ask them to put it on youtube and if they put it on youtube...i will post it on here! Kay? lol

 

And...a little heads up....in the summer...I believe in June...I'm going to be gone for a week cuz I'm going to Disney World! I'll to take pics (if I can) and post 'em here! I'll tell ya'll about it!