Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin

Today is one of my bestest bestest bestest bestest bestest bestest bestest x a million friends birthday. She's now 15! Little Miss Deanna is my all time favorite brother and she's an awesome friend. I love her to death and a day :)

She's been there for me through thick and thin and when I couldn't afford to buy TBP, she surprised me with it wrapped up and everything. She's an amazing friend and brother and I absolutely love her XD She's one of the bestest friends I could ever ask for and I'm so grateful to have her :)

I love you Gerard :)

-Mikey

"Ville, stop it!" I shouted as Ville shoved Chris out of the room and into the wall in the hallway. I heard feet scattering from upstairs and I also heard Sofia jump up from the couch. I tried to hold Ville back but he squirmed out of my grasp. Ville pinned Chris up against the wall. Chris looked absolutely petrified and confused, his eyes were wide and alert, and he was trying to break free from Ville's grasp.

"Ville get off him!" I heard Sofia yell from the end of the hallway. The blonde and brunette bombshell tried to run her way over to Ville and Chris, but Ray made it down the stairs in time to hold her back. She was stuck in his grasp and he was trying to calm her down by saying that everything was going to be okay. The rest of the guys flew down the stairs to see what was happening. Gerard and Bob rushed to my side to try and get Ville off of Chris while Mikey and Frank stayed with Ray and Sofia to try and calm her down.

"What the fuck were you doing with him?!" Ville shouted in Chris's face.

"With who? What are you talking about?!" Chris shot back, still trying to break free from Ville. Gerard and Bob couldn't get Ville off of Chris either. I think it's because he's  a Reaper and he's probably stronger than all of us put together. Just then, something popped in my head and I raced back into the room to fetch the picture that Ville had dropped when he 'attacked' Chris. I picked it up and turned it over to check the date. "March 15th, 2007" a year before Ville died. It hasn't happened yet.

I gasped and ran out into the hallway. I pushed Gerard and Bob to the side and tried to get Ville off of Chris by myself again.

"Ville!" I shouted. "Ville, get off him! I need to talk to you!" I pulled on one of his arms, actually getting it off of Chris, and I tried to pull him back. I was starting to detach Ville from Chris, I was actually starting to get him off of him. Sudden;y, Ville used all the strength in his arm that I was holding and tried to get me off. He thrusted his arms back and I lost my grip and fell backwards, flying into the room and hitting my head on the floor as I landed on the floor. All the comotion in the hallway stopped as this happened and before I knew it, Gerard had got me off the ground and onto on of the chairs in the bedroom.

"Bob," I heard him say in a gasp. "Get some bandages and alcohol...she's bleeding." I moved my hand to the back of my head where it hit the floor and felt moisture fill my hand. A red liquid had stained my hand and it took me a few moments to realize that it was blood. Why do I always hit my head?

Ville soon joined Gerard in the room and he rushed over to my side with panic written on his face. Gerard gave him a nasty look but Ville didn't seem to care. His eyes were filled with guilt and anger. Bob came into the room with the alcohol and bandages that Gerard asked for.

"I'm so sorry," Ville sobbed with a tear dripping down from his eye. "I didn't mean to...I wasn't thinking....I...I was just so angry...I-I'm so sorry." he babbled.

"It's okay," I said faintly, attempting at another smile. "It's not that bad." I stated, referring to my head.

"No, Brandy, you're bleeding." he sobbed again.

"It's okay, Ville," I said, trying to re-assure him. "I'll be fine," I sighed. "I just need to tell you something."

"What is it, sweetheart?" he asked, holding my hand.

"The picture. I checked the date. It was taken a year before you died. In about like 2 years it will happen. He doesn't know anything." I watched Ville's eyes as more guilt added to his eyes.

"Oh," he said. "I guess I should apologize to him, huh?"

"Yeah, I think you should," I said as Gerard applied some alcohol on my wound. That shit burns but at least it cleans it out. I felt Gerard press the bandage onto my head. It won't stay long because of my hair, but it'll do for now. "But maybe you should still ask him about William, maybe they were like old friends or something," I suggested. "But try to control your anger."

"I will, don't worry," he sighed. "Maybe you should ask him because I think he's pretty pissed at me at the moment."

"Alright," I said getting up from the chair. My feet were a little wobbly and I felt a little dizzy. I almost fell again and both Ville and Gerard had to help me regain my balance. I walked my way to the living room, by myself, were Chris and Sofia were talking about what had just happened. I'm surprised to still see him here.

When Sofia saw me, she jumped up and gave me a hug.

"Are you okay?" she asked with a worried look on her face. I smiled reassuring and said yes. I quickly sat down next to Chris and Sofia sat down next to me.

"Can I talk to you Chris?" I asked with innocence in my voice.

"Are you going to attack me like Ville did?" he questioned with disdain in his voice.

"No, I won't attack you. I would never attack anyone." I said. He nodded yes. It took me a moment to think of the question I wanted to ask him first. "Do you know who William Beckett is?" Chris wrinkled his eyebrows in thought. I felt Sofia's confused eyes burn a hole in the back of my head but I disreguarded it and continued to look at Chris.

"Yeah, I know him." He said after a moment or two.

 

to be continued....

********************************************************************************************

sorry if this is crappy....it's early in the morning and I'm hyper and I can't think straight....too much pepsi :)

Okay...I have stories to tell ye! lol...well....let's go with Dorney Park first, shall we? Okay, so last Friday was my 9th grade class trip to Dorney Park (unfortunately not the Wild Water Kingdom) but it was really fun. So, the first ride I went on was The Talon...

That was the second Rollercoaster I've ever been on in my whole entire life! And it was SCARY but Fun! Me and my freind Rachel were cursing and screaming the whole ride, but that's just us...lol. And then we went on the Swingy Thingy. It was actually quite relaxing and fun, I love that ride. And then...oh boy....I went on the ride that scarred me for life...The Meteor....

It literally takes you in a full 360 degree cirlce....UPSIDE DOWN AND EVERYTHING! I had my eyes shut for most of the ride, but when I decided to open my eyes, the ride locked us upside down in mid-air. I FREAKED! All you could hear out of me was "oh shit, oh shit, I'm gonna die"...and then more screams of terror. It was so scary, I am never going on that ride again! But, at least after that we went of the music thingy and the Tilt a whirl. On the Tilt a whirl...Rachel and I started singing "I believe I can fly" ...it was hilarious since everybody was looking at us weirdly O.O But the second to last ride we went on, I regretted deeply. The Thunder Canyon...yeah...about half an hour to forty-five minutes before we had to leave, me and a bunch of my friend decided to go on it....I had a bathing suit top on and jeans...jeans....a big mistake...thank god I took my hoodie off and my shoes and socks of cuz guess what? WE GOT SOAKED!

 

The water was FREEZING! And t was breezy out...yeah I wasn't a happy camper. At least my friends were there to buy me new pants...though they happpened to be short shorts *cringes* at least I wasn't going home in wet pants. Now time for that bitchy girl I had to deal with, which was also at Dorney. Okay, so after Rachel and I got off the Tilt A Whirl around 12-ish, we decided to get some lunch at the Pavillion. We were looking for some people to sit with and there I see one of my friends who happens to be with her friend and Rachel and I wanted to sit, eat, and chat with them cuz, you know, we wanted to see what rides they went on and what not. So we approach them and I say hi to my friend and I start to tell her about my horrifying experience on The Meteor (I was still shaking at that time) and her friend just turns and says to me "Shut up, nobody cares" and started getting "smart" with me, if that's what you call it. But anyway, My friend literally had to remind me that I was hungry because I was fuming. I wasn't even talking to her and she was being a bitch to me o.O Thank God I'm nonviolent cuz she woulda gotten a mouthful of Brandy if I weren't nonviolent. *sigh* people these days -_-

 

Now, lets' go to my new hairstyle. Yes, I got my hair done on Saturday. Unfortunately I have no pics at the moment due to me not having a camera. So, it looks like this *put your mental camera on people* it's short and choppy, with bangs, and it happens to be Deep Burgandy. I love it to bits and pieces....oh shit! I forgot, you can see my hair before I dyed it and after I cut it on a video I'm going to post of me and my friends on Youtube to a spoof to the Blair Witch project...lol

 

Now, shizzle at school. MIKE IS BACK! I was sooo happy to see him! When I jumped up to tackel ehim...I mean hug him...I hit my knee on the table and a bruise now resides on my knee :( it hurts but it's well worth it. And guess what my award was??? EXCELLENT ACHIEVEMENT IN TECHNOLOGY EDUCATION! Yeah, see, spending all this time on the computer paid off betches...lol...but seriously, I was so happy to get it because I wanna be a graphic artist when I'm older and to get an award for something I wanna bein the future, it just rocks.

 

And now friends....well, you all now know Mike is back *happy dances* but some things are going on between bunches of my friends. Like some of my friends can't stand one another, others are in feuds, others are talking about people behind their back and I'm stuck in the middle. And one of my friends is acting very weird and I talked to another one of my friends about it (she's friends with her too) and my friends, the one that's actinf strange, happens to be on drugs and I asked my other friend to help me talk to her about it because she isn't being herself lately and I miss the old her. before she let the drugs get to her. *sighs* well on a lighter note, I have a new nickname as of today....it's Bunny Cupcake....it's a long story but it has to do with a dream I had that had wiL Francis, Sisky Business, William Beckett, and all of Cobra Starship in it....lets' just say in the dream...I let Sisky nickname me...lol

Well I'm in school now so I have to cut this short...but....I gots my computer fixed last night and I'm going on as soon as I get home! which should be in about 2 hours...but still...lol....and boy do I have loads to tell you guys! I mean loads....as in my 9th grade dorney park trip, NEW HAIR STYLE!, shizzle at school and some bitch who got smart with me (no I did not fight, I'm nonviolent, but i wanted to rip her hair out!) and some shizz about my friends...good and bad.....soo....I'll write later cuz now some teacher is like breathing down my neck...not literally though, but she's watching me!

And here are some icons that I made! Enjoy!

 

Don't have seizures! But I hope you enjoy! (and for any Kiki, Audrey haters or e-haters, please do not write any obscene comments on this blog. Please just go on your merry way. Same goes for all MCR haters too {though I don't know why anyone would hate any of the three})

My internet isn't working at my house so I have to wait till our new motom comes.Right nowI'm at my cousins house. Don't worry, I'm not dead.

Well, at about 10:30, my moms lawyer called my mom and said that my "dads" lawyer and her were going to meet and talk things out. Which means, I didn't have to go to court....yet. I mean, they needed to talk things out about the support and alimony and knowing my "dad", he's going to want alimony. Which my mom can't pay. So, if things work out, no alimony, no dad. But if it doesn't, we'll have to go back to court and we'll have to testify.

But, I was actually kind of disappointed when my mom said that we weren't going to go to court. I wanted to tell the judge and evrybody exactly what he did to me and my family and it's kind of disappointing that I couldn't. It would make me feel so much happier to do that, to expose him for what he is....a wife beater and child abuser. But sometimes things don't work out that way, it sucks though that I couldn't tell them. But, you know what? I don't care anymore. If I have another chance to (which I hope I don't becuz that might mean my mom might have to pay alimony O.O) I would. But, at least tomorrow I get to go to Dorney.....

So last night I stayed up till ten and found out....DAVID COOK WON AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!! I was screaming with joy becuz I really wanted him to win and he did! He's amazing and when his CD comes out, I'm buying it and I'll sing and dance to it! I'm soooo happy about David winning! Congrats David!

 

But....bad news as well....*sigh* I go to court today....when I come back I'll tell you all what happened and what not...wish me luck! And the next chapter of "Love Reaper" should be posted after I get back from court...

 

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey

Looked in a mirror and questioned everything in life? That's what happened to me...I was blow drying my hair and I just looked at myself and just...voices in my head (I'm not crazy) were telling me that I was ugly and that everything was my fault and that I was worthless and it actually got me thinking about some things that happened in life that I really wanted to change. No matter what it was, I wanted to change it. Like whenever I would show one of my friends I drawing I did, he would always say "That's good, but Sofia can do better"...and sometimes it makes me doubt myself and I really wanna tell him that it hurts me when he says that. I know he likes Sof (who wouldn't, she's effing gorgeous!) but seriously, he has to watch what he says. And I know Sofia is a better artist than I, and I don't care, it won't stop me from drawing.

And then I started questioning my actions of yesterday. When two of my friends started trashing MCR and A7X (they hate them)...they know how much I love both bands with all my heart and soul, and I got so defensive...I had to literally tell them to shut up becuz I tear people apart when they say the shit they said. But then I started thinking, I told my friends how I feel when people say stuff like that, and sometimes I think I'm paranoid and I think my friends are out to get me becuz if one of my friends isn't there, they start talking about each other and it makes me think that they do the same to me. But I confronted my friends about it and they said that they would never say anything about me behind my back becuz I'm too nice and that I always cheer them up...but you never know right? And when I acted the way I acted yesterday, it kinda scared me afterwards becuz I keep having this dream where something happend with me and my friends and I lose all of them and I try to kill myself. And I thought I made one of my frineds mad from the way I acted yesterday becuz she wasn't here today.

The whole time when I was reminising (sp?) and these thoughts and more memories, I just really wanted to leave and I started fantasizing about it. Just me leaving and finding a new life somewhere else...and I realized....that's exactly what I really want. Is to leave, and find something new in life besides the same old misery. You know what I mean?

haha! writers block can't tame me forever!
***********************************************************************************************

 

My headache went away, finally, but it took forver. Okay, maybe it took an hour but thatshit hurt like hell. Well anyway, I asked the guys to stay for awhile until we figure things out. At first I thought that Ville was going to flip about Gerard staying (you know why) but, he seemed fine about it, well, his facial expressions said that he was okay with it. His eyes, on the other nad, told a different story.

Ever since I told Ville about Gerards feelings toward me, which I told him about two months ago, Ville has been "careful" around Gerard and I, making sure Gerard didn't do anything. But now, Ville's trying to keep his cool about the whole thing. I hope he understands why I asked them to stay here. I hope he undertsnad how much this means to me, to us.

*********************************************************************************************

I fell asleep in Ville's arms after the guys got settled into their rooms. Sofia and Chris had decided to stay as well, but they're staying in the living room. They're only staying overnight. Sofia didn't want to leave me alone, though I would be staying with about six guys, maybe that's why. Haha.

I had another creepy dream again after I fell asleep. It was different though because I hadn't had this dream before. It was new to me. But it was familiar in a way. Oh yes, it was a dream about one of the pictures that will be taken in about two years. The one where Frank snuck up on Ville and I after a movie that we attended to with a bunch of our friends. I remember, after my poisoning in the future, Frank gives this to me to cheer me up, and this is the first picture I see. But, there's something off about this picture in my head. Something totally different, something I haven't noticed before. But what is it?

I shot up from my dream, now awake, jumping out of the bed quickly. Ville grunted and leaned up as I blindly tried to find the photos. Ville did me a favor by turning on the light as I searched for that picture. Ah, found it.

"Brandy, sweetie, what are you doing?" Ville asked me drowsily as he got out of bed and as I headed for the door.

"I found something," I said as I yawned. "Something in the picture."

Ville inched toward me as I handed him the picture. "What did you find?" he asked as he scrutinized the picture with his eyes. His beautiful green eyes looked confused, and this made me smile before I snapped back into reality and pointed out something very important in our not yet made memory.

"Guess who?" I whispered as I pointed to a figure standing in the background of the picture.

"William?" Ville gasped in surprise. He and I exchanged glances for a moment until my finger moved to another figure next to him.

"And look who's standing next to him, talking ot him..."

"Chris..." Ville sharply exhaled. He looked like he was trying to contain his anger. he face was smoothe but his eyes were smoldering. A sudden knock came at the door. Both Ville and I looked up as the door slowly crept open

'Speak of the devil,' I thought to myself as Chris entered the room.

"Hey, I heard noises. Is everything okay?" his sweet, british accent asked in a sincere tone. I moved closer to Ville, who's eyes were still ablaze. Ville took a step in front of me. I've never seen him so angry.

 

to be continued...

1] Whats your Name?:

[2] Are we close?:

[3] What do you think of me?:

[4] Do you fancy me?:

[5] Would u kiss me?:

[6] Would you date me  Why did you first add me?:

[7] Describe me in 3 words?:

[8] If u Had Me for 30 Mins wat would you do?:

[9] What was ur first impression of me?:

[10] Do u still think the same?:

[11] What reminds u of me?:

[12] If you could give me anything what would it be?:

[13] How well do u know me? :

[14] What do u like best about me?:

[15] Ever wanted 2 tell me something u could'nt?:

[16] Could you ever love me What would you do if you spotted me randomly in person?:

[17] Give me a nickname and explain why?:

[18] R u gona put this on ur blog and c wat i say bout u?:

[19] Anything 2 say b4 u go?:

I have writers block :( But I'll try to work it all out tonight if I can....ugh...I hate when I have writers block...it really sucks....

Who do not know of the band IAMX....effing listen to them now!!! A-Mazing band!!! With a gorgeous singer with an awesome voice! you have to listen to these songs: "Kiss And Swallow," "After Every Party I Die," "Naked But Safe," "President," and "The Negative Sex"....listen to them!!!!

 Chris Corner, IAMX's singer *swoons*

And you HAVE to check out the band Rookie Of The Year! Ah! I absolutely LOVE them! To Death! Listen to these songs : "The Blue Roses," "Liars and Battlelines," "Life, Fall Fast Now," "Pop Destroyed The Scene," "Silhouette's (All Eyes Above)", and "Sign Of Her Glory"

 Rookie of the year

The power of Brandy compells you to go check them out and listen to them and love them to bits and pieces!!!

I am freakishly addicted to a really really really fuckin awesome story called "I'm Too Young To Worry" by mychemicalenee (Aleena)...you have to read this story because it's amazingly awesome and you just have to read it because it's toooooo awesome for words! Go! Read! Now! I command you to read it! NOW NOW NOW!

 

Thank you.

*got it from mychemicalenee

 

. What are you listening to right now? Dear God- Avenged Sevenfold

2. What song makes you sad?  the Titanic Song by Celin Dion

3. What is the most annoying song in the world? Any Hannah Montana song

4. Your all time favorite band?  My Chemical Romance

5. Your newly discovered band is? there's a lot...False Start, RuinGloria, Ultra Vires, Shitstar, Lannen Fall, and some other peeps

6. Best female voice?  Amy lee fersure

7. Best male voice? Gerard Way, but then there's M Shadows, Ville Valo, Lauri Ylonen, Chris Corner, and too many others but Gerard is my fav of all time

8. Music type you find yourself listening to most? Oh goodness...I range from Punk, to metal, to gothic metal, to techno, to acoustic pop (Jason Mraz :D) to Latin....wooooo

9. What do you listen to hype you up?  Mall Goth, My Sweet Pessimist, Trashed And Scattered, I'm Not Okay (I Promise), After Every Party I Die, Shake it, F-F-F-Falling, Stigmata Diaboli, and so much more

10. What do you listen to calm down? Desert Song by My Chemical Romance

11. Last gig/concert you went to?  MCR...it fuckin rocked out loud!

12. Band you find yourself listening to the most right now?  The Used, Avenged Sevenfold, My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, Jason Mraz, IAMX, She Wants Revenge...

13. Most hated band?  The Jonas Brothers....*cringes*

14. Song that makes you think?  Badically all MCR songs make me think...it's weird cuz I never really think...

15. Band that you think the world should love as much as you do? My Chemical Romance *devilish grin*

16. Coolest music video? The Ghost of You (though every time Mikey dies I cry like a pansy...)

17. Music video with the most babe watch?  Bat Country, Beast and the Harlot, Insurance?

18. What “do you play/would you play” in the bedroom to spice things up?  Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge....or my sex song, I mean....

19. Can you play a musical instrument?  Nope...I suck at instruments...

20. Ever been in a mosh pit? I started my own and punched myself in the eye....

21. Are you in a band? I wish I was but I'm not...I have no talent

22. If yes, what kind of music does your band play?  no

23. Ever dated a musician?  No...lol...I wish...

24. If yes, what kind of music did he/she/they play? are you going to rub this in my face???

27. If no, would you consider?  I don't get this question -_-

28. Do you wish yourself that you were a musician? sometimes...it would be cool

29. Best chick band you know of?  not that I know of....

30. Best guy band you know of?  My Chemical Romance

31. Last song that you heard on the radio/cd…etc…?  Dear God

32. What do you think of Classical music?  I love Beetoven (if I spelled his name right...) and Bach...

33. What do you think of Country music? Reba's the shit but other country music sucks

34. What do you think of Death metal?  two words..Woo Hoo!

35. Last BIG band that you saw live?  My Chemical Romance!!!!

36. Are you a groupie?  Only for Genna

37. Do you listen to music in foreign languages?  Yes, I listen to Latin music *Alejandro Sanz is God!* and I listen to some Finnish *yes, accutally in Finnish!*

38. What famous musician do you find sexy? WAAYYY too many to list here...I'll just name a few though...Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Ray Toro, Bob Bryar, M Shadows, Synyster Gates, Zacky Vengeance, Johnny Christ, The Rev, Chris Corner, Ville Valo, Lauri Ylonen, Ryan Dunson, Jason Mraz, Brandon Boyd, Adam Lazzara, ect...

39. Worst concert moment? I accidently punched myself in the eye on time.....

40. Funny Concert moment? when I screamed to Gerard after Mama, "Gerard! Do You need a HUG?!" and he looked....*blushes*

41. Sad Concert moment?  I cried during Cancer because my great papa was dying of Cancer

42. Best local act you can think of?  one in Florida but I forget their name...

43. If you were a musical instrument what would you be?  A guitar XD

44. Do you listen to the radio?  no...all they play is shit now...

45. Do you watch music TV?  FUSE baby!!!

46. Do you follow the music charts, like the top 40?  nope

47. Have you meet any famous musicians? not yet :(

48. Are any of your friends/family etc musicians? Yeah, and they're amazing but not famous...yet

49. Song that best describes your feelings right now?  Everybodys Fool -Evanescence

50. Song that describes your life? Desert Song- My Chemical Romance

51. Do you know the names of all the band members that you listen to?  Well, not all but most :D

52. Does a musician’s physical attractiveness play a role in the music that you listen to? No! all that matters is the music! not they're effing looks!..........woah, this is red....

53. What famous musician do you want to marry? Mikey Way...but he's married and I like Alica....can I marry her too?

53. Favorite movie sound track? Sweeney effing Todd!

55. Any musician pet hates?  why would I hate their pets?

56. What do your parents listen to?  Rock....my mama is the one that got me into Motley Crue and Billy Idol and Pat Benetar! XD

57. What are you listening to right NOW? Music from RENT

58. Do you wear band T-shirts?  Holy Hell yes!!! I love my band shirts!

59. What do you think of people who do?  Awesome...cuz I usually go "I love your shirt!"

60. What music sub-culture do you feel like you belong to?  idk...I'm more of a punk, metal, gothic chick who listens to latin and acoustic pop...

61. What song is stuck in your head right now? Geek In The Pink- JasonMraz

62. Do you sing in the shower?  no...I'm afraid I'll get too carried away and fall...it has happened before....

63. If so, what? If not, why not? I fall becuz I'm a Dip

64. Would you rather marry a musician or be one yourself?  Um, I kinda have stage fright so I guess marry one though being one would be cool

65. What is in your walkman/discman right now? I have an MP3 Player...

66. How important is your partners taste in music to you?  Very Very Important

67. Hanson moves in next door to you, do you go introduce yourself, or do you arrange to:
um...why Hanson? Can it be My Chemical Romance?

68. Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll, you dig?  I like the Rock n Roll part...I'm too young for sex and drugs (though most kids my age do those shit but I'm not like everybody else)

69. Do you cook to music?  haha! Yes! I even fold laundry to music!

70. Do you sing in the toilet? I kinda can't fit in the toilet so no....

 

 

I woke up in mine and Ville's bed. There was a bandage draped across the back of my head where I hit it and all I could see what Ville laying next to me and Sofia and Chris at the foot of the bed. I stirred a little bit to let them know that I was awake. As soon as I did, everyone started to hover aound me. Sofia, though at my feet basically, was the first one to hug me though Ville was already next to me. Chris was standing awkwardly behind Sofia, he didn't really looked worried, just shocked really.

"Are you alright?" Ville whispered in my ear after Sofia stopped hugging me. I nodded, though my head hurt like fucking hell. His long arms wrapped around me and he smiled a bit to cheer me up a little. "Sofia, can you get her some aspirin. Looks like her head hurts." Sofia nodded and trotted her way out to the bathroom to fetch some aspirin, Chris followed. Ville kissed my cheek and his grip on me got a little tighter. "What happened, sweetheart?" he asked sweetly.

"I don't know," I choked out. It hurts too much to talk right now. "Why aren't I in a hospital?" I managed to say without choppping up any of the words.

He sighed, then answered, "Because...it's....just...it's just really hard to explain to you, darling. It'll probably make your head hurt more." he attempted at another smile but couldn't quite pull it off, his face fell into a frown, he was holding back.

"I wish you would tell me, Ville." I pleaded.

"Okay, but if you get confused or if your head starts hurting more, I'm stopping and waiting for you to get better, okay?" I nodded and he sighed as he went on. "You're not in a hospital because, I know what happened to you and the mortal doctors and nurses wouldn't be able to do a thing if we took you," he paused, staring into my eyes, trying to see if I was getting what he was saying, which I was. "Sofia told me about Williams visit and the pictures and the letter. The reason why William couldn't tell you anything in person is because the Elders are always listening into our conversations."

"Are they listening now?" I whispered.

"Most likely, but I'm telling you, they already know. Brandy, the letter that William left in the album, it turned into dust when you were having your little episode that they put you under."

"They put me under something? And why did it turn to dust?" I asked curiously. Holy hell.

"Yes, they put you under something, but it was just as a distraction from the letter turning to dust. But Sofia told me what it said. And it turned to dust because, since they can listen in on peoples cnversations and she was reading the letter out loud, they didn't want you to know what the rest of the letter said."

"What did it say?"

"I can't tell you now, love. Later, when they aren't listening." Ville said, kissing me and resting his head on my forehead. Thoughts were flowing through my mind. What did the letter say? Why do they listen in on peoples conversations? Why would they make me go through such pain? Where the hell is Chris and Sofia?

Ville and I heard a knock at the front door. It was a gentle knock but a worried one as well. Ville got up and left to answer the door. I heard voices from the living room. I can hear Sofia's laugh and Chris's accent along with Ville's and a few other voices as well that I could recognize from anywhere. Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Ray, and Bob. My lovely friends who have been busy on tour forever. I haven't seen them in awhile. Sofia must have called them when I was 'resting'.

Gerard came in first and he was the first of the five to give me a bear hug. Ville flopped down on the bed next to me and the others stood by my side. There was a few awkward moments between us until Chris's cell phone rang to his song "The Negative Sex," and he let himself out into the hallway to talk to whoever called.

"So, what are you guys doing here?" Hm, the aspirin seems to be working, no more headache.

"Um, well, someone kinda visited us..." Gerard trailed off with a blush.

"Sofia didn't call you?" I asked in a stunned voice.

"No, some guy named William told us some creepy shit about you guys so we decided to come but then Sofia, wen she answered the door, told us what happened and yeah." Frankie chimed in. Aw, I missed his Frankness.

"William visited you guys? Why?" I questioned with a cracked voice.

"Because of the dreams we've been having for like a year. Somehow he knew we were having them. And Mikey had this one freaky dream about just the Elder people talking." Frank explained. He wrinkled his eyebrows as if he was trying to find some other words to say.

"What was the dream?" I turned my attention to Mikey. He looked down and acted like he was kicking something, but then he looked back up, but he was looking at Ville. "Michael James Way, what is it?" I demanded. Ouch, my headache is coming back.

"Well, they....when Ville dies....he wasn't meant to." Mikey answered with a pained look on his face.

"What do you mean?" I squealed.

"Brandy, they killed him. He wasn't meant to die."

 

to be continued....

********************************************************************************************

sorry if this is crappy...I'm like blah today....but more shizz is gonna happen soon...

 

I called Sofia as soon as I could. Of course she was mad at me for calling her so early but once I got finished explaining things to her, she came right over, and in good time too. Chris came along with her, I told her to bring him so that he could keep Ville busy for awhile. I didn't want to tell Ville about William's visit until I sorted a few things out myself. Me and Sofia need to go through the pictures to see if any of them look like our dreams, if you know what I mean.

It was about 4 in the morning when Sofia and Chris came. I had all of the pictures laid out in front of me in mine and Ville's bedroom. I heard the TV on in the living room as Sofia opened the door. She looked super tired but very alert. Someone had a lot of coffee before she came.

"Hey honnie," she said as she gently closed the door and joined me on the floor. "Are these the pictures?" I nodded yes. She started to comb through the ones on the floor and in my hands, but then she paused, one very specific one caught her eye. She placed it gently in front of her eyes, scrutinizing each detail, she seemed surprised.

"What's up?" I yawned as I leaned over to see which picture she was looking at. She extended the photo toward me, her mouth gaping at it still, and I took it from her. I gasped as I looked at the picture myself. It was a picture of Me, Sofia, Gerard, and Ville at a party that will happen in about two years. But I can remember it because it was in one of my dreams. The dream when I first found out that Ville was, is, a Reaper, and then Sofia saved me because I was poisoned.

In a quick movement, Sofia graped the photo album in her hands a stared at it until finally opening it. She wanted to make sure I didn't leave behind any crucial photos since I have a habit of skipping over a few things. She started to flip through the lamenated pages, just staring at the shininess and everything. Something feel out, a letter. Sof dropped the album and picked up the envelope containing the letter. We stared at each other for a moment until Sofia sighed and said, "What the hell is with all these letters and notes? Can't they just tell us themselves?"

I shrugged. Maybe they can't. Maybe this is the only way that they can talk to us, and 'they' meaning Reapers. At that moment, I started to hear a ringing in my ears, it was annoying but bearable.

"Should I open it?" Sofia asked. She wanted to open it, I can see the curiosity in her eyes. I nodded quickly because my head started to pound, louder and louder. It was getting quite painful. She started to read the letter.

"I'm sorry that I can't tell you this on person, but the Elders are always listening in on my conversations. They watch and listen to Reapers quite often. I have to tell you something, something very important. The reason why they made me send you guys back that far is because in the future you figure out everything. So let me tell you this now before things repeat, they did something bad, something bad to Ville. They......Brandy!" Sofia yelled. I feel backwards, hitting my head on a chest that stands at the end of mine and Ville's bed. The pain, my head it hurts so  much, and me hitting my head didn't help it at all. Tears streaked down my face and I was screaming at this point. It feels like my head is about to explode! And then things faded into a black, and I heard the door swing open and Ville's voice. And that's all I remember.

 

to be continued...

I was basically on edge all day becuz today was the day that my friend who ran away was supposed to come back to school. I heard from my friend (who is one of Mike's {the one who ran away} besy friends) that he was in the same clinic that he and I went to so I was like "at least they found him" but then people started saying "Mike came in 3rd period!" or "Mike's in court!" or "Mike's coming in tomorrow!" so I'm all paranoid about it becuz I have really missed him so much, no one has any idea how much I missed him! Like, all day, I would turn around and hope that he would be there so I can tackle hug him. And it really sucks becuz he wasn't there, but I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up, you know?

So, I came home all miserable and I just really wanted to get on here but my sis was on the computer venting to people on AIM about her day and how horrible it went as well. So, I just decided to go to the school playground taht I live near becuz I usually swing there and it helps me think. But, these little kids start talking to me and asking me questions and it was really cute and this little boys sister came (she goes to my school but she's in 7th and I'min 9th) and we start talking and we end up talking for like 2 hours about MCR, dancing, horses, and stealing guitar picks which fits into MCR but I didn't steal nothing and neither did she but it was awesome. So, I guess at an end of a bad day, things turn a little better and you meet new people and it's just awesome afterwards. Now, I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow.

My lovely friend Ana taught me how to do these thingys:

☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘○

I feel so happy now...lmao

I had absolutely no sleep last night. And the whole day I was falling asleep in like every one of my classes. Thank God in all my classes I had a friend who sat next to me or near me cuz they basically kept me awake. But, strangely, I was awake in my Advanced Multimedia Tech class. Well, maybe cuz today we were making animations and I always wanted to know how to do those. Here's mine (it kinda sucks but whatever):

It's Audrey Kitching, Adam Lazzara, and Mikey way. (don't look at it for too long, it'll start to give you a headache...)

But, today in my Health class, Victims Services came to talk to us about abusive relationships. It really depressed me because everything that i went through and some of my friend went through kept banging in my head and almost made me cry a couple times. But, since Family Based Services are supposed to be helping us, well, I mean my sister *mumbles under breath*, they haven't shown...in months! So I'm trying to see if I can contact Victims Services, maybe then somebody will liasten.

I'm just blah today, really tired, don't feel good, and a bit depressed. But, what else is new? Except....there's exactly one more month left of school! And I'm going to Dorney park next week, and tomorrow is my last day of art club and my mom gots me a disposable camera to take pics and what not XD

William had a humorous look on his face. I guess he was humored by the fact that he really creeped me out by telling me that he practically saw me naked. At least I don't take my bra off until I had something over it, now I'm not taking my bra off...ever!

He moved swiftly closer to me, sort of circling me, eyeing me up and down but not really in a pervertedness way, if you know what I mean. I was still frozen in my tracks, still kind of somewhat frightened of William. He is a Reaper, I know that because I remember his name. And what happens to people who see Reapers, they die, well, most of the time they die. And sense it's not Ville standing in front of me, maybe I have to die. But I still have three more years...or, do I? Well, he did go into my safe. Something tells me that he wasn't looking for jewels or money.

"Why are you here?" I asked in a frigid voice. I guess it's a good question to ask, though there are many other questions floating in my head to ask him, but this one's good for now.

"I have to show you something." He said in a stale voice. He stopped behind me, I can feel his eyes burning into the back of my head. I forced myself to turn around and look him in the eye. He was serious about whatever it is he had to tell me. I wonder why he won't tell Ville along with me, they are both Reapers, aren't they?

"What is it?" I nearly whispered. My throat was dry, I was still frightened about what happened just a few short moments ago. He sighed, his nostrils flared but not in anger. he unbuttoned his long coat and started to reach inside of it, and almost instinctively, I stepped backwards a little bit, afraid that whatever it was, it might hurt me. But it wasn't something dangerous, it was quite the opposite. The photo album that Frank is going to give me in the future. I can remember it now. I was poisoned and Frankie wanted to cheer me up and he made me that album.

William extended it out to me and I grabbed it right out of his deathly hands. And in a gasp, I opened it, and my whole (well nearly whole) future fell out onto the floor. Every single picture that I had, I mean will, put in here, was still there. He must of taken it from the future or something. I knelt down on the floor and picked up all of the pictures. I stood there, dumbfounded by the pictures, staring at each one in great detail. One thing that hasn't changed about me, is that my OCD for labeling things and dates still comes in handy for remembering things. I had labeled all the dates on these pictures. But only one really stood out. It was a picture of Ville's tombstone. And I can read it clearly.

"Beloved Son, Fiancee, and Friend. R.I.P. Ville Hermanni Valo. 1976-2008. 'This World Is A Cruel Place And We're Here Only To Lose, So Before Life Tears Us Apart Let Death Bless Me With You.' -Ville Valo."

"Ville's tombstone," tears poured down my face as pain ached my heart. I don't ever want to see this in the future. "I don't understand," I gasped. "It says 2008! The note...April 2nd, 2008...is that the date of Ville's....hello?" I asked as I looked up. He was...gone, vanished, disappeared. I slumped down onto the floor with the pictures laid out in front of me. What can this mean? I really need to call Sofia.

 

to be continued...

...with a piece of pizza and a 20oz pepsi. Yeah, I haven't really eaten in a couple of days and I'm effing starving! So, I gots some pizza...yummi yummi pizza XD

Well, anyways, so my sister was going to make steak or whatever the thing she put in the oven was. Well, she decided she was going to put water in the steaming hott GLASS pan...and you know what happened? It shattered into a lot of pieces and I'm sure you guys are well aware of my fear of broken glass, right? Well, I am and now I can't go in the kitchen or anywhere around the house without shoes on or something protecting me cuz glass..ugh...icky...and my sister thinks I'm a pansy....ha! well, I am and I'm proud...ha ha!

*gasp!* guess what? I can say pansy in Finnish!

English: Pansy

Finnish: orvokki

I feel so intellegent XD

I don't know what the note meant. It could be a myriad of things, like the day of Ville's death, our wedding day, or something else completely. I locked the note up in a safe in my bedroom closet that was hidden under various shoes and articles of my clothing. I told Sofia all about that note and about Ville still being a Reaper. She didn't really believe me at first but then she thought about it and we came up with two plausible explanations. One being that maybe they sent us back so maybe we could forget about all the pain that things have caused us. Two, maybe they just wanted to get things back in order and sent us back because maybe we knew too much? I don't know, but our reasons still didn't cover why Ville is still a Reaper. That, we're going to have to find out by ourselves somehow.

It's been a year since I got that note, and since I met my Ville. We're basically inseperable now. Well, I guess we've always been inseperable in some sense. I mean, though me and Sof have come up with some really good explantions to what happened to us, another reason has still been floating around in my mind. And that reason is that maybe they sent us back this far in hopes that we don't find each other and fall in love. And by 'they' I mean the Elders or whoever had sent us back. But I guess it didn't work because we found each other again, and we fell in love again. And no one can take that away from us, not even the Elders.

Now, I did move out of the house that I lived in with Sofia (I took the safe and hid it in my new closet) and I moved in with Ville. It actually had taken me a couple of days to leave Sofia because we were inseperable as well. We've been best friends for years now and though I hadn't really left, it seems that way because I don't see her everyday like I had used to. Both her and I try to keep the 'not seeing each other everyday' thing out of our minds by just being with our boyfriends and things. Yes, Sofia has a boyfriend now, but it's not Bam. You see, Sof loves this awesome band called IAMX, so Ville, her, and I went to go see them in concert and we had backstage passes. She hit it off with Chris Corner, the really hot lead singer of the band. Haha, but we still hang out. It's amazing how many things go on in a year, and it's also amazing how many things we miss as well.

It's been a year, and Ville still hasn't told me of how he was still a Reaper. I would ask him each and everyday, but he kept telling me "I'll tell you later," or "You'll find out soon." I gave up asking him basically. My curisousity still lingers inside of me but I never really let it out anymore. You see, he gets this horrid look in his eyes when I bring it up and it makes me feel like I don't know everything about the future like I thought I had. Am I missing something?

Maybe.

But I can't wonder about these things now, I have too much on my plate.With work, spending time with Ville, spending times with Sofia and my other besties, things are kind of hard and I need to concentrate. And with all these questions and things lingering inside my head, it makes it hard to concentrate.

********************************************************************************************

I got home late tonight. Ville was asleep on the couch, from the looks of it, he was probably watching Family Guy or something of the sort because the TV was on. I crept over to the couch and gently nudged Ville's shoulder. He made some sort of a snort sound which made me giggle and nudge him again. His eyes fluttered gently open. He looked up at me and smiled generously.

"Hello, sweetheart. You're home early." he teased as he slowly sat up and gave me a kiss. I giggled and sat next to him on the couch.

"I'm sorry I'm late, but my boss made me stay behind and finish up some paperwork or whatever the hell it was," I yawned as I nussled my head into his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me and yawned as well.

"Well, tell him to fuck off the next time he makes you do that." he suggested with an annoyed smirk on his face.

"Okay, I'll do that, but I don't think he'll like that very much." I snickered. I heard one small chuckle from Ville, then there was silence for a few moments until I realized I was still in my work clothes. I sighed, very aggitated might I add, and slowly rose up from my comfortable spot on Ville, I mean the couch.

"Where are you going?" Ville asked in a very cute voice.

"I have to change," I answered curtly as I headed back into our bedroom. I turned the light on in our room. It felt really strange as soon as I entered, like something was off. I looked around and shrugged my shoulders a bit. I think I'm paranoid. I took out my nightgown from the drawers. I unbuttoned my blouse, exposing my bra, and I removed my skirt and pantyhose, exposing my panties. I quickly slipped on my nightgown, and I looked over at the closet door, it was open. I know that might not seem off, but the thing is, is that the only thing that I can really see is the safe, the safe door was open.

"You know, it is actually very easy to break open someones safe. Especially when the person set the lock to something easy like a birthday." a voice said from behind me. I froze, I didn't recognize that voice.

"How long have you been there?" I asked from over my shoulder, hesitating a bit to turn around. I heard him chuckle and move closer to me.

"Long enough to know that you wear Victoria's Secret bra's and panties." I turned around and came face to face with a tall, pale man with long-ish, wavy brown hair. He was slender and dressed all in black.

"Who are you?" I managed to choke out as I was afraid and ready to call Ville in to save me.

"William," he said. "William Beckett."

 

to be continued...

Happy Mothers Day to all of you beautiful Mama's here on buzznet! Hopefully you beautiful ladies get your Mothers Day wish *cough* husband/boyfriend/or kids doing the house cleaning *cough* I Hope you all enjoy your well deserved day and REST! Ya'll deserve it!

I'm going to be honored for an award at school for academic achievements!!!! I'm so happy! XD

If you left me a note, sorry that it's taking me a long time to reply to it. Trust me, I'm not ignoring any of you, I'm trying my best to reply but my computer is acting like a piece of shit. I mean a big piece of shit. So, I'll try my best to reply and if I don't, I sorry.

 

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey

 

Okay, so maybe that was not the answer I was expecting really. If he said, "Brandy, I remember everything. I'm going to die (fill in date and time here)" maybe I would have taken it a little better. Well, I did promise that I wouldn't get angry, and I'm trying not to, I really am. But, he shouldn't keep things like that from me. Though, technically, we did just meet not that long ago, but he loves me and I love him, he should have told me. Oh, I don't know, this is really hard!

I slid off his lap, and stood up. He followed shortly after me, sighing a guilty sigh. I walked to the other side of the kitchen and grabbed a pepsi out of the fridge. Okay, so when I'm stressed, I grab a pepsi, it's a lot better than drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. I felt him standing behind me, waiting for me to say something, but what would I say to that that does sound the least bit of angry? Maybe I should just let him explain everything to me, if he can.

"You're mad aren't you?" his beautiful shamefully choked form behind me. I closed my eyes for a moment, breahting more steadily, trying to calm myself down more. I slowly turned around. I met his gaze, an 'oh my God she hates me now, doesn't she?' gaze. I attempted a smile, a smile to at least make him feel a little better. Ay, it didn't work very well, he still had that look on his face.

"No, Ville, I'm not mad," I lied after a few minutes. I may not be furious like 'grrr I'm going to kill you!' but I am a little tiffed. I also know that if it were the other way around, Ville would be patient and undertsanding to me. So, why not return the favor.

"You're....not...angry?" he said, pausing in between words. He looked a little confused; looking like he didn't believe me at first. But he gave in, he started to believe that I wasn't really angry.

"No, Ville, not angry. Just...just confused," I confessed. "I just don't understand why you're not...alive again. They sent us back and..."

"No, Brandy. He sent you back 4 years to the day we met. He sent me back, as a Reaper. I know you don't understand, but I promise you will soon." he said, placing his hands on each side of my head and kissing me. Goodness, why does he have to be so cute at a freaking confusing time like this?

"When, when will I understand?" I asked in a whisper as our lips parted. His lips curled up into a soft smile.

"Soon, I promise." he said. I smiled and hugged him. I rested my head on his chest and heard no heartbeat. I guess I should expect that since he's dead. "Now, I think we should go back to our friends before they get suspcious." he giggled silently.

"Okay." I took his hand and we went back to join our friends.

********************************************************************************************

Ville and his friends stayed for hours and hours on end. Bam and Sofia talked all night, maybe they like each other? Who knows? I'll have to talk to her later about that, haha. But we spent all night talking about random things like favorite movies, kick ass bands, skateboarding (haha, Bam), and other things. But we departed at about 1 in the morning. Everybody was tired and we promised to see each other later. I tackle hugged Ville before he left, and gave him a quick kiss. I now know his little secret, I guess you would call it that, and I need to tell Sofia, because she already knows everything.

"Don't worry, you'll know everything soon enough, Just pretend that I hadn't old you, okay?" he whispered in my ear before he walked out the door. I nodded, already feeling guilty for telling Sofia later on, and kissed him once again. "I love you, and don't you ever forget that." I smiled, and blushed a bit.

"I love you too, Ville." I said back. And then he and his friends left, and I walked back to my room, planning on telling Sofia when she was fully rested.

I turned the lights on in my room and quickly changed into my pajamas. I went over to my vanity to brush my hair and to remove my make up, but something caught my eye and made me hesitate. A note.

"Don't lose this, keep this close. Don't get it wet, don't get it burned. Don't smear this, smudge this, or have anything happen to this. Just remember this date: April 2nd, 2008 1:48am. Something is going to happen on ethat date."

 

To be continued...

I.Hate. School. Period.

Okay, so I was in my Math Plus class with these complete and utter jackasses today and on Fridays we're on the computers doing the Larson's program and I happen to finish early because I shouldn't even be in Math Plus, I already know everything and I don't even need any extra help, so I finish early and as I'm walking back, one of the kids looks at me *and yes, I mean THAT kind of look* and the guys crack up...and then they call me "The ugliest girl in the school" and then one of them has the audacity to ask me what I'm doing this weekend *yeah, you know what he meant by it* so I ignore him and the whole time I'm trying to ignore them but they keep making remarks about me. Yeah, that helps my self esteem. But at least I saw Deanna and Judith afterwards cuz I was about to EXPLODE! I told them what happened about them calling me ugly and shit and Judith goes "Oh my God, you're not ugly at ALL! You're fucking SEXY!" and Deanna was all like "Where are those bastards?! I'll kick those asses!" they made me smile, cuz I really do hate those kids but the rest of the day, all I could hear in my head is "She's the ugliest girl in school"...how nice, not. But then before Deanna went to go to her next class, she was all like "Don't let them get to you. Remember, Mikey, you're beautiful!"

I love my friends. But I hate school.

He hesitated for a while, so I had to sit because whatever it is he has to say to me (though I think, or hope, I know what it is), he was sure taking his damn time with it. Ville leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and his face undecided. I sat there, on the chair in the kitchen, staring at him.

I can't even begin to explain his facial expressions. At first, he was, he looked guilty. Then a bit saddened as if he remembered something. Now, his face is undecided and still deciding. I wonder what he's thinking.

Ville moved toward me in one swift movement, standing in front of my chair. I had my head resting on my hand at this point, and my elbow resting on my knee. I didn't look up at him because I was too lost in my thoughts to really notice. He stroked my cheek, and woke me out of my thoughts. I looked up at his, he looking serious, and he knelt down to meet my height, though I was sitting down.

"Hi,' he smiled, though he still looked serious.

"Hi to you too." I said, trying to crack a convincing smile. I gazed into his eyes, which were more green than ever, and more thoughtful as well. "Have you decided to tell me?" I questioned without any thought.

"Yeah, I have," he sighed, sitting on the floor in an indian styled sitting position. I slid onto the floor with him and into his lap, he wrapped his arms around me and grinned a little. Then it faded. "You have to promise me that...that you won't get mad at me, okay?"

"Ville, why would I get mad at you?" I asked as innocently as I could. Seriously, there is no reason for me to get mad at him. Or...is there?

"Just promise me, alright?" His eyes looked timid now, frightened if I didn't promise him not to get angry.

"Okay, I promise." I promised. He looked relieved for a moment.

"Umm...well. This...this is so hard to explain, but I gather that you know a little more than you're supposed to," he started off. I looked at him with a confused face. "Uh...Brandy..I...I'm just going to come out with it...." he sighed. Ville took a few more minutes to tell me, readying himself, or me, before he could say anything. He sighed again and said, "Brandy, I'm still a Reaper."

 

to be continued...

"Hi Ville," I said as I turned around, putting my arms around his neck and kissing him. He had a smirk on his face, a smirk that matched his green eyes. "What are you smiling about?" I teased. He chuckled and placed his forehead on mine and stared into my eyes. God, kodak moment.

"Nothing." he whispered. "I love you." I smiled and kissed him again. I don't think he knows really how much those three words mean to me. Without those words, I would be empty, like in the future.

"I love you too."

We spent the whole day hanging out in mine and Sofia's living room, just watching movies and talking. I really do need to talk to Ville to see if he does remember. I need to know so we can change the future and so it doesn't play out like it's planned. All of the love in my heart goes out to him (and my friends of course), and I don't know if he knows that. In the future, it only took one kiss to make him remember his love for me, how many kisses ould it take now?

But of course in the future we've gone out on many more dates, we got to know each other more and more personally, and our love grew more each day. How could one kiss make you feel that for a person? Is it like love at first sight, when you just see a person and automatically fall in love with them? Love is so sneaky and confusing.

And, of course, if he does remember, we would need to sort a few things out. Well, like, in the future we're engaged, are we engaged now? Does it really work that way? And there's also my best friend who happens to be in love with me as well, how do I break the news to him? How do I tell him that I know his secret and I can't love him back? I mean, i do love him but I love him more like a brother. And, if Ville doesn't remember, there's also figuring out how to save him and when to save him. I've already figured out how he dies, but how do I stop it from happening? This is why I have Sofia, she knows these things, kind of, and she knows how to deal with things and help people.

I also need to figure out why we were sent back this far as well. I mean, if we were sent back before we met, it has to mean something. I need to figure out how to contact Reapers, if I can, but talking to Ville also comes into play here because if he remembers everything, then maybe he remembers how to contact a Reaper or the Elder people as well. So, i guess I talk to him now, huh?

"Ville?" I whispered in his ear. We were watching "Romeo and Juliet" with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes. I love "Romeo and Juliet" and I must have seen this movie like a thousands times but I still love "Romeo and Juliet". The whole play is amazing. Love, death, suicide....woah. Love, as in mone and Ville's love, death as in Ville's death, and suicide as in my suicide. How creepy is that?

"Yes, sweetheart?" he cooed back into my ear. I love when he says 'sweetheart,' he sounds so adorable saying it.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Um, in the hallway." I don't really want anyone else hearing this, though Sof already knows about the whole thing, nobody else does really. Ville nodded and got up, I followed after him (with my hand in his) and we stopped just outside the door to the bathroom to talk.

"What's wrong?" he asked, suddenly worried. How do I phrase this?

"Um, have...uh...have you been having any weird dreams lately?" I stuttered. He looked at me quizzically, his eyebrows mushed toether, his nose a bit wrinkled like he was concentrating, and his mouth moved to the side a bit. Adorable.

"Why? Have you?" he replied. His facial expression kind of threw me off guard. He looked like 'oh shit she found out' or something.

"Yeah, and they really creeped me out for the most part." I explained. He still had that look on his face, but his eyes didn't match his expression. His eyes told a different story, a guilty kind of story. "Ville, what's wrong?" I asked. I know there has tp be something wrong, or something he remembered too.

"I have to tell you something..."

 

to be continued...

"Oh, so what you're saying is that all that stuff we're dreaming about is actually going to happen, or happened, or will happen?" Sofia asked. She seemed as confused as I was, but as sure as I was too. It took me over an hour to explain everything to her, and for me to actually understand it myself. those things that will happen, they happened for a reason and I believe that we were sent back to stop it, or sent back so that Ville and I would forget. I'm not quite sure yet.

"I guess. I mean, those things I know for sure will happen, or did happen, and maybe we were sent back to stop them from happening. I mean, okay, you know how you said in your dream of my killing myself that you didn't recognize that one guy who you said was upset as well?"

"Yeah..."

"Sofia, that was Bam, Ville's friend. And apparently in the future, you guys are pretty close friends." I explained to her. Ha, maybe I could set them up...

"Okay, but I haven't met him yet. So how does that work out?" she asked with a seriously sonfused look on her face. I sighed. This is so hard to explain.

"You're meeting him tomorrow, Sof. Remember, me and you are going to hang with Ville and some of his friends later? Bam will be there."

"Okay, so I talk to him tomorrow?"

"Yes!"

"Okay," she looked down at her hands, then up at me again. She looked like, I don't know, like she just realized something wasn't right. "Wait," she said. "Brandy, you and Ville only been out on what, two or three dates right?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked. What is she getting at?

"Then, how does he know that he loves you already?" she paused. "Do you think he remembers everything too?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It's a possibility,"I sighed, then gasped. "Sofia! In the future, or from what I remember of what will happen, he remembers everything by me kissing him. The first thing he'll remember is his love for me. Do you think that when we first kissed that he remembered everything?"

"Brandy, you're going to have to ask him when we see him later. 'Cause now I'm thinking he does remember."

"Okay, maybe we should get some sleep. We'll need our rest for later." I suggested.

"Alright. Wake me up when you wake up."

"Kay, shit! Frank's in my bed!"

"Have fun with that. Night night!"

********************************************************************************************

After the conversation I had with Sofia, I had crawled back into my bed. I didn't really care if Frank was sleeping in my bed, he was bound to fall off at some point. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, and the dreams did come back, and they weren't taking any mercy on me tonight, or this morning I should say. It was basically everything that I had remembered and that I had already dreamt. The emotions, they always get to me.

I'm dead, you're alive.

I'm dead, you're alive.

I'm dead, you're alive.

Those fours words kept ringing in my head. I'm dead, you're alive. Was one of the last things that Ville wil say to me before he leaves me, and before I kill myself. I never knew that those fours words could hurt so much. They had to if I was to kill myself afterwards. They had to be that effective. And then my alarm clock rang, and I jumped up, startled, and accidently butting heads with Frank. His head is really hard!

"Ouch!" he exclaimed as he jumped backwards and fell off my bed.

"Jeez, Frank, why the hell were you that close to me?" I said as I rubbed my head.

"'Cause you were talking in your sleep and I couldn't understand a thing you were syaing so I was trying to hear you!"

"So, did you figure out what I was saying?"

"Yeah, you kept saying 'I'm dead, you're alive,' or something. I'm not sure, really."

"Oh," I sighed. I still talk in my sleep? Jeez, I thought I stopped doing that when I was nine. "Well, I need to get changed and shit. So, can you give me some privacy and wake up Sofia for me?"

"Okay, but if you hear me in pain, it's just Sofia hitting me for jumping on her." he said as he left my bedroom. What an idiot, but I've got to love him for it.

I slowly got up from my bed and headed into the bathroom down the hall. I jumped in the shower really quickly, washing my hair and all that fun stuff. I blow dried my hair and headed back to my room. I pulled out my Billy Idol tee shirt and my black tu-tu like skirt. I quickly put my clothes on (I put my skull covered leggings under my skirt) and did my make up quickly. I pulled my hair back into a pony tail, pulled on my army boots, and headed into the kitchen to fetch me a pepsi.

"Well that took you forever," Frank commented as I entered the kitchen.

"Did you wake up Sofia?" I asked as I pulled out a 20oz bottle of pepsi from the fridge.

"Yup, and I got slapped for it, see," he said pointing to the red mark on the side of his face. Haha. "And it hurt."

"I can imagine." I giggled.

"Oh, and Ville is in the living room with his friend waiting for you and Sof."

"How come he always comes so early?" I rolled my eyes but smirked.

"I don't know but I think he likes you. You should go out with him."

"Frank, I am going out with him." I said, he looked surprised.

"How come I don't know these things?" he demanded.

"I told you already, you just weren't paying attention." I said.

"Oh, well, whatever. I feel bad for Gerard though."

"Why?" Oh yeah...he loves me...I forgot about that.

"Brandy, I think you know," he said, rolling his eyes. "Oh, and Ville is behind you."

 

To be continued...

Okay, so I was in school, in Bio, and I was explaining to my friend about this fetish I have (for those who don't know what fetish's are, it's basically a sexual attraction to something). And started to laugh at me when I told him I have a blood fetish, but the thing is...everyone knows about my blood fetish. I mean ,sheesh, it's nothing big...just that I have a sexual attraction to blood. What's so wrong about that? It's not like I'm going hurt someone to fuck 'em! And plus, it's nothing to be ashamed of. And then I showed him the pic of wiL Francis that I have, the pic looks like he's bleeding and he totally got the wrong idea of it -_- and this is why I don't explain these things to guys....especially guys who are preps (yes, I'm a friend with a prep but he's really nice)

That's the pic I have to wiL. Now, you can't tell me that you don't wanna *halala* him!

I got home around 2 in the morning the next day after the fantabulous concert that Ville took me to last nigt. I am so tired, but extremely hyper. I met some of Ville's friends, a bunch of his fans, and even Bam was there so I could talk to him some more and make him apologize for hitting me on the head with the frisbee.

Ville had offered for me to stay at his house tonight, or this morning I should say. But I had denied his offer. I really had to tell Sofia what I remembered. I really need to tell her. And maybe I can make her remember as well. I sighed as I plopped down on the couch in the dark living room. I felt something move beneath me, weird. Did Sofia sleep on the couch last night? I stood up, and bounced right down on the couch. This time, there was a little cry of pain, and it wasn't Sofia's.

"Frank?" I questioned as I realized that Frank has done this before.

"I was sleeping!" Frank groaned as he took my arms and threw me off the couch.

"Hey! What was that for?!" He made me hurt my butt. Humph, jerk.

"You hurt my tummy." he fake whined. I started to laugh. He's such a drama queen.

"Okay, I'm sorry Frankie," I said as I stood up and gave him a hug.

"It's okay, you're light as hell. You didn't hurt me that much."

"Whatever. Do you wanna wake Sofia up with me?" I asked as I turned on the lamp. I winced, the light hurts me eyes.

"Sure, why?" he said enthusiastically.

"Because I need to tell her something very very important and it can't wait for tomorrow, or later or whatever."

"Okay."

Frank and I walked up the stairs and into Sofia's room. Her room was covered in IAMX, Marilyn Manson, and bunches of other band posters and shizz. Her room was painted a dark red, her door painted black along with her vanity and closet door. She had a couch infront of the huge window in her room that was accompanied by a small coffee table infront of it.

I glanced over at Sofia's bed, she was sound asleep. Frank and I crept over to her bed and I crawled on the left side and he crawled on the right.

"Get out of my bed." she said sleepily.

"You're awake?" I asked her. I felt her nod and slowly rise up into a sitting position.

"I heard Frank throw you onto the floor." she said as she leaned over to turn on the lamp next to her bed. She turned to Frank and slapped him on the side of the head.

"Is it beat up Frank day or something?! That hurt!" he whined again, rubbing the side of his head. I tried to contain my laugh, it didn't work, and he glared at me.

"Yes Frank, it is. Now, I need to talk to Sof. You can go back to sleep now." I giggled. Frank rolled his eyes and headed for the door.

"Fine, but I'm taking your bed." he said as he left the room.

"Have fun with that."

"So, what do you need to talk to me about at 2:10 in the morning?"

I sighed. How do I explain this to Sofia? How do I explain things that are going to happen in the future? How do I explain death? Suicide, my suicide? How do I explain her heartache? The tears? The suffering? Everything that hasn't even happen yet? How do I explain to her that Ville was, or will be, a Reaper? How can I tell her that my death was because I wanted to see him again? And how do I explain the Elders and William sending us back in time, too far back, so we don't remember?

"Brandy?" she said after a few moments of silence.

"Sofia, this is kinda hard to explain...."

 

to be continued...

********************************************************************************************

sorry if this is crappy again...my mind is just "rawr" today...

Things have been a little...iffy...the past couple of days. I mean, I don't know, the dreams have gotten extra creepier and scarier and Sofia has been having the same dreams on the same night as well. I haven't really bothered to ask anyone else about the dreams, though some people that Sof questioned knows, but others don't. Well, unless they're having the dreams too.

And, I've been dreaming of people I don't really know either. Like Bam, or this one girl named Jade. The only dream that I hadn't dreamt of yet was of Ville's death, and that's the dream I need to save him. But, I can't think of any of that stuff tonight. Ville is taking me on another date, except this date, I know where he's taking me. I just found out yesterday that Ville was in a famous band called HIM. Jeez, I am so anti-social about music. Well, not really. But he is taking me to a concert. He gave me some of his CD's to listen to, but I haven't gotten a chance yet. I'm too wrapped around these dreams, which I can't think of tonight. Damn, this is so going to be hard.

My phone vibrated in my pocket as I was putting some of my clothes in the wash. I ansered, it was Ville.

"Hello?" I ansered, though I already knew who it was.

"Hi." his cute little finnish accent said on the other end.

"Hi Ville. What's up?"

"Oh nothing, except I'm picking you u pin an hour. Are you ready? Did you listen to the CD's I gave you?" Woah, questions...

"No to both. I'm putitng some clothes in the wash and I'm about to get ready and I haven't gottena chance to listen to the CD's yet." I explained as I put the colored clothing in and set the washer to it's appropiate setting. i added the detergent and headed to my room with my cell phone still at my ear.

"Oh, well, listen to the CD's while you're getting ready, okay?" he said.

"Okay. Any specific song you want me to listen to?" I playfully teased. He sighed, but then giggled.

"No, sweetheart. Listen to any song you wish to. I'll be there in about an hour. And unless you want me to see you naked already, I'd suggest you get changed."

"Oh, alright," I laughed as I opened the door to me closet. "I'll see you soon."

"Bye." he said. He hung up, as did I. Before I forget, I should put in one of the CD's he gave me. I decided to put in "Love Metal '. I looked at the songs on the back to see which one I want to listen to first (I don't really like going in song order...I know, I'm weird). I put it on the song "Buried Alove By Love." I started to dance to it as I pulled out my black tank top, plaid skirt, red studded belt and neon green fish-net stockings. I quickly got changed (though I kept dancing, making it harder for me to actually put my skirt and stocking on) and headed to my vanity to put on my make up.

I added the cover up first, then my first shade of eyeshadow (I usually blend four together, I add bases) which was black. Then I added dark purple, sky blue, and then a light shade of red. I added my blush, eyeliner, and mascara. Then, to top it off, I put on my new blood-red lipstick. I feel sexy, haha. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, as I usually do, put on my doc martens, and danced around my room, waiting for Ville to come.

"Woooaaahhh, nice dance moves!" Sofia said as she entered my room. I stopped dancing, almost toppling over, and blush a bright red.

"Knocking would be nice." I said as I turned down the music.

"What band are ya listening to? They sound cool." That's because they are cool, haha.

"Ville's band...HIM." I smiled. Her jaw dropped.

"Dude, you know that Mike's favorite band is HIM right?" she said. "He's gonna kill you when he finds out that you're dating Ville..."

"Oh, well, whatever. And plus, Mike won't hurt me." I said. I turned up the music again, grabbed Sofia's handed and started to dance with her. Haha, this is fun.

We danced are way to the end of  "Bured Alive By Love" to the beginning of "The Funeral of Hearts".

"Oh, I forgot to tell you something." she said. We both stopped dancing, my feet hurt. I'm not a good dancer.

"What?"

"Ville's waiting in the living room. Though, he's probably at the door watching us dance." Damn it, she was right. He was at the door with a huge grin on his face.

"What happened to an hour?" I said, turning down the music yet again.

"Well, I was actually hoping to see you naked," he smiled. "But, I got to see you dance instead."

"Hmmm...are you still hoping to see me naked?" I teased.

"Actually..."

"Aw man, you guys are gross!" Sofia said in digust.

"I'm kidding Sof. Jeez." I giggled. She shook her head and left. Ville was laughing. He has a cute laugh.

"I see you enjoy the songs so far." He said as he approached me with his arms folded across his chest. I put my srms across my chest, trying to mimick him.

"Maaayyybbbeeee." I said. I laughed and shook my head in a 'yes' nod, trying to indicate that I do in fact love his music. He laughed as well and put his arms around me. He squeezed me to his chest so tight that I couldn't unfold my arms. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Hm, strange, a dream flashback just came to me. Or a dream flash forward. It was when I layed my head on his chest, but he had no heartbeat. And I promised myself not to think about this, but I can't help it.

"Brandy, I love you." Ville said suddenly. I stiffened. Oh my God...I love him too.

"I love you too." I whispered. I knew he could hear me, I felt him smile. But, I didn't. I remember everything that happened. Sofia was right. Oh my God.

 

to be continued....

********************************************************************************************

sorry if this is crappy....but my mom keeps tellin me to get of the puter

I really do hate that word. You know why? Because the court is forcing my mom to pay my dumbass fathet alimony. So, my mom got a new attorney. And they calculated everything because my mom was forced to pay teo morgages and HIS car payments, and they found out...he makes more than she does! And she's the on taking care of us three kids! One needs meds who can't afford it, another needs therapy but can't afford it and the little one needs to be tested for ADD but, he won't let her and we can't afford it. So, again, I have to testify on the 22nd, and thanks to my so-called father, I can't go to formal because that is the day of the formal. I'm really angry and to top it all off, I'm freaking scared to testify in court! I can't be in the same room as him! I'll freak out! The last time I was in the same room as him, he was giving me the look of death! *sighs* this really sucks...I was looking forward to formal... :(

Like today...so okay, I found like a bunch of my old close that I never wore or only wore once....in the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade! And some clothes that my aunt gave me that I really don't like. Well, I had this old dress that my mom mom bought me for my cousins communion(sp?) when I was in the second grade....and well....I still fit the dress -_- but, I couldn't quite get it off, so I had to cut it off O.O (don't tell my mom)

And I had this skirt that I had won in a Hoops For Heart thing in the first grade...guess what...I still fit in it -_-

I felt like I was time warping except with a different hair color and boobs...and don't get me started on the other skirts and dresses I put on that I STILL fit in....I'm almost 16 and I still fit in close that I wore when I was 7, 8, and 9....jeez....lol

After everybody made sure I was okay enough to be left alone, they left themselves. Gerard and Frankie had band practice and Ville's friend was in town and he went to go visit him. But, like Sofia promised, we had to talk about my super creepy dream. It has gotten us both spooked. We're noth having the same dreams, scary dreams. It has to mean something, something big.

"Brandy," Sofia sighed as we were eating lunch in our dining room. I sipped my pepsi as Sofia leaned against her left palm. "Your dream...you didn't do anything bad...yet."

"Huh?" I said as I choked on my pepsi. She leaned forward, with the most serious look on her face.

"Okay, this is gonna sound so crazy, but Brandy, I talked to basically everybody we know. And most of them have been having the same dreams. Andrew has, Gerard has, Adam has, Davie, Vaughn, you, me...everybody! It has to mean something..." she leaned in closer as if somebody were eavesdropping. And she whispered. "I think we might be dreaming about the future..."

I leaned back into my seat, my hands in my lap and my face somewhat contorted. Huh, maybe she's right. Maybe we are dreaming about the future. Or maybe everybody is going crazy. Either one, it still means something.

"So," I finally said after a few moments of thinking. "I kill myself in the future?"

"Yeah," Sofia answered in a monotone voice. "But we can stop it from happening...whatever it is that caused you to kill yourself...we can stop it from ever happening...all we need to do is figure out what caused your pain and..."

"Sof," I said interupting her. "I know what caused me to do what I'm supposed to do in the future. And I'm not losing him..."

"Him?" she gasped. "Ville..."

"Yeah, but he was already dead when I 'killed' myself, Sof."

"So, maybe you shouldn't date him." She said. I looked at her with disgust. I really really like him.

"No Sofia. I like him...a lot. And he might be the one. I'm not losing him, not yet." I started to sob.

"Okay, then we need to figure out when he dies and stop it from happening." She said. I look at her. How am I supposed to know when he dies? "I know what you're thinking, we'll figure out when he dies. Hopefully we have a dream about it and figure it out. Brandy, everything is going to be okay."

"Are you sure, Sof?" I asked.

 

to be continued...