Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin

Sorry I haven't written in forever...or like a week...but school is so hectic...for one thing, they gives me oodles of homework...I'm failing Chemistry so I have to get help...and all that fun shizzle...*sighs* well I hopes you guys enjoy XD

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As soon as I got home, I ran into the bathroom, not to puke, but to call Alicia. I dialed her number and waited impatiently for her to answer. I can't believe that William resurfaced after two years...again! Is he going to do this every two years?! I just can't believe this!...maybe I'm just imagining this. No, I couldn't have...but Ville didn't see him...but I did...maybe...

"Hello?" Alicia yawned from the other end of the phone line. Sheesh, she sounds tired. Really tired.

"Alicia? It's me," I sighed, also whispering so Ville wouldn't over-hear. "Um, are you guys on your way over now?" I sounded a little impatient. Alicia gave out a little grunt.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Why?" She started to sound a little more alert. Man, she needs some coffee.

"Okay, um, when you guys get here, go to the rose garden in the back. I have something really important to tell you," I said, then added, "And don't tell Mikey. If he asks, just say you knew I was back there, not that I asked you to come back there. And, don't Ville either."

"This must be really important if you don't want to tell Ville." She said in the most astonishing tone of voice.

"It is, so please, hurry." I hung up the phone before she answered and placed it on the sink. I sat myself on the toilet seat and sighed. Oh God, why does this always happen? Are the Heavens testing me? Really, are they? Because it seems that they are. I just don't need this right now. I'm pregnant, I'm going to be a  mom. I don't want to raise my baby in this type of environment. Of course her father is a Reaper, but other than that, we don't need rogue Reapers always trying to kill daddy and force mommy to love him. No one needs that.

Why don't I just tell Ville about what I saw. Yeah, I didn't tell him. I seem to not tell him many things anymore. But he worries so much, and I love him so much, I don't want to burden him anymore. Then again, he should know if me and the baby are going to be in danger especially if William is back. Then again, what if I just hallucinated? Do pregnant women hallucinate? Oh sweet Jesus, I wish Alicia will hurry though I just hung up with her.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Ville and William couldn't reverse my suicide. Would Sofia still be alive? Would they have made me into a Reaper too? Would Gerard have met LynZ? But I guess I'm happy they did reverse it, though I wish Sofia stayed alive. I miss her so much. I'd love to see her there when I give birth to my baby. That would be wicked.

Wait, holy shit, I'm giving birth to a half Reaper baby. What if my baby is like Renesmee Cullen from when Bella gives birth? But that was only a book...awe man...why does my mind always have to wonder?

Knock knock. The door opens before I could answer. Ville walked in with my outfit for tonight in his hands. He saw me on the toilet with my face in my hands (when panicky thoughts go through my mind I get really emotional okay?) and raced to my side. I slightly smiled. He's so cute.

"Honey, are you okay? Do you have any pains? A headache?...are you crying?" He said frantically. I shook my head and wiped a stray tear from my face with the back of my hand. "What is it?"

"Nothing. I just really miss Sofia. I wish she was here." I sniffled. It's not the whole truth, but it is part of it. Ville took my hand in his and stroked my fingers with his thumb.

"I know you miss her," he said softly. "It's going to be okay. She's in a better place now." I hate it when people say that.

"I know, but I just wish she was here. Me and her always talked about being there when we'd give birth to our children to like help out and stuff. But she's not here." Ville stood up and helped me up too. He put his long arms around me and kissed my forehead. "Ville?" I asked in a quiet tone.

"Yes, my love?" he said in a velvety tone.

"Is our baby going to be like Renesmee Cullen?" I asked in a childs voice. He laughed and pulled back.

"What?" he chuckled.

"Well, Renesmee Cullen was Edward and Bella's baby and Edward is a vampire and Bella was a mundie when she gave birth to Renesmee and Renesmee has special powers and it didn't take her long to grow and everything." I said all in one breath.

"Next you're going to be asking me if our baby is a Shadowhunter." he giggled. I happened to get to the fifth chapter of City of Bones. Fucking amazing,

"It could happen." I said quietly.

"Don't worry, Brandy. You see, Reapers, like vampires, were humans before too. And like vampires, being a Reaper is like a disease. I've asked Lucian about that the other day, he said our baby should be a...what did you phrase it as?..oh...a 'mundie'. Unless the baby starts poofing from one place to another, then we should worry." Ville explained quite thoroughly. Wait, a disease? I wonder if the baby could be immune.

"Wait, are you telling me that vampires exist?" I asked, smiling.

"It could happen."

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I sat in the rose garden in the back waiting for Alicia to arrive. I sat on the black bench with my headphones in and listening to Jason Mraz's new Cd "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things" and I've got to say, I love the new album. Right after Ville and got married, about a month or two, he had this rose garden prepared for me. He knows how much I love roses, if I could, I'd bathe in them, haha. Red roses are my favorite, especially when they start to bloom. It's so awesome to just sit there and watch them bloom.

And Ville also kept a part of the garden encased in glass for the winter so I can draw them in the winter. Ever since I wrote my fanfiction with the immortal roses, he had that done for me, and it's so sweet. Coincidently, he was in that fanfiction.

For some reason, I can't get the thought of vampires existing out of my head. Do they really exist or is Ville just messing with me. Maybe he thinks that I'd leave him for a vampire. Haha. Vampire or Reaper? I'd say Reaper, because i'm already in love with one and nothing can make me stop loving him. Nothing.

A tap came at my shoulder. I looked up and Alicia was wide eyed and staring at me with a certain impatience. I took my headphones out and turned my MP3 player off and smiled. She sat down beside me.

"Sooo...what's so important?" She nudged my shoulder. My smile slowly faded and I looked her in the eyes.

"Promise that you won't flip and tell Ville," I said with pleading eyes. She nodded, she's speechless already. "Okay, I went to the mall this morning, you know, my usualy shops and all. And I was waiting for Ville in Borders. So, I busied myself with this really kick ass book," I said, pointed to City of Bones right next to me. "And there was this guy who just kept staring at me," Alicia gave out a little gasp, I continued. "I got really paranoided and decided to go pay for the book but Ville was standing behind me and I asked him if he saw the dude that was staring at me and Ville was all like 'What guy?' and I turned around and he wasn't there anymore. I shook it off a little until we were about to leave the store and I decided to look back and I saw him again, and I recognized him..."I stopped. Is it a good idea to tell Alicia?

"Well, who was it?" She begged me to continue. I need to tell someone.

"William. It was William." I sighed.

"What?!" She sprung to her feet in outrage. "And you didn't tell Ville?!"

"Ssshhh!" I said, pulling her back down on the bench. "I couldn't, I don't want to burden him..."

"Burden him? Brandy, you're not going to burden him. He needs to know, sweetie. William could hurt you and the baby." She said, softening her tone.

"But what if Ville gets mad?" I whispered. She looked at me with confused eyes.

"Why would he be mad? And why do you always think he'll be mad?" She stroked my hair.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just freaking out lately because I'm going to be a mom and Ville's going to be a dad and we're going to have a kid. And then there's the William thing...I just don't know what to do." I looked up at Alicia who gave me the 'don't get mad at me' look. "Alicia...you're not going to tell him about this are you?"

"No," She sighed. "I'm not. You're going to have to tell Ville what you saw. But," she said, looking at me seriously. "I think you should go back to Borders tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Well, maybe you weren't the only one who saw him, William I mean." She was right, again. Maybe I wasn't the only one who saw him. I nodded and she got up and helped me up.

Alicia and I headed inside. I almost forgot that Ville and I had to tell everyone tonight. But seriously, are they blind? Can they not tell that I'm preggo? What glorious friends I have. Haha. As soon as we stepped inside, I felt a bunch of eyes fixated on me.

"What?" I said as soon as I got in. Awe man, Ville already told them all.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!?!?!" Frank screamed out in surprise. Damn, he nearly busted my eardrums.

"No, Frank," I said. "You're pregnant." Ville, Alicia and the rest of them laughed at my sarcasm. "Yes, Frank. I'm pregnant. Which, seriously, you guys didn't figure it out?" Everybody glanced at one another in a quizzical way. Did they already know? "Did you guys already know?" I kind of asked that out loud.

"Everyone but Frank." Gerard said. "Congratulations." He smirked, rubbing his hand on my tummy. I should have known, really. My friends aren't that dumb.

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Everybody left about three hours ago. It's about two in the morning and Ville's already asleep. I can't sleep. I just can't, not since earlier. So I decided to catch up on the laundry myself instead of Ville doing it. I need something to do and I don't want to finish my book today, I want to savoir it, you know?

I can't take my mind off of William. I...can't. I dno't want him in any part of my baby's life and everytime we think he's gone, he comes back with a vengeance. Last time, he tried to kill Ville and me. And this time I'm pregnant. Does that make me a bad mom? You know, constantly putting my little one in danger with William always lurking in the shadows. And, wait, he saw me pregnant too. So he knows. Did he always know? Does he want my baby? What would he want with my baby? Oh no....what if wants to seek vengeance on me and Ville by killing my baby? Oh no...oh crap...here comes the tears.

"Do you want a tissue?" Ville said from behind me. I jumped back. He scared the living crap out of me. Ville came around the couch as I was folding one of his tee-shirts. He moved the pile of towels out of his way and sat down next to me. I didn't look at him, but I felt his eyes burn into the side of my head. His hands were kept in his lap and he leaned backwards.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He said in a near whisper. I shook my head no and I felt him lean up and closer to me. "Why? What's wrong? Please tell me, Brandy." He pressured. He needs to know. I sniffed, choking back my tears. I had to look at him, and I did. He looked so pained, so lost and confused. I couldn't say anything. I looked away quickly. His hand crept up around my face, caressing my face, and making me look at him. He kissed my lips lightly and stared into my eyes. "Please?"

"Promise not to get mad?" I whimpered.

"I'd never get mad at you." He's just so God damn cute.

I inhaled deeply, holding it in for a few seconds, and breathed out slowly, calming myself down a little. "I didn't tell you this earlier because I didn't want to burden you. But...I saw William eariler, at Borders. He was the creepy dude that was starng at me." I looked up at Ville, shocked by the look on his face. He looked...guilty.

"I know," he said. "I saw him too."

to be continued...

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sorry if it's alittle sucky...my mom gave me a 'time limit' because my little sister wants to go on and play murderous games and shit *glares at sister*

Please, pick up the phone.

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

Yeah, it was the video that Nikki and Racheal and Dan and Joe made with me in it last May, or this May? I dunno...but I look so weird! And I learned how to do screen shots...that made me happy lol

Joe's making a funny face...like "I'm going to kill you" muwhahahaha

Yes, Joe is duct taped to a tree...and yes he is holding socks....and Dan is right behind him haha

Dan...hahaha!!!

Me playing with my hair because that was the day I got my new old haircut and I was obsessed with it, okay?

Me, Rachel, Dan who's hiding behind a tree...I'm so flatchested....but don't make fun, people think that cute about me :D

Joe and I...Nikki's there, you just can't see her, and Rachel's holding the camera...somebody seriously stole our socks...dude, I have bad posture....crap *sighs*

Nikki, Joe and I with that colory filter thingy mo-bobber

This isn't part of the video thing...but it was at Nikki's bday a few years ago...I'm not in the pic...I'm on the couch behind everybody...but I sure do miss some of these people...they changed 'cept for a few...

I finally stood up to my ex father. After years of fearing him and being afraid to stand up to him, I finally did and it felt so good.

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

My Story

All my life, nothing but bad things has happened to me. My real dad abandoned my older sister and I when I was a baby, me, my mom, and my sister were homeless for weeks, my mom married a really abusive man, and after that, my life took me to the seventh level of Hell and back.

I was lost, confused, I never knew why any of the bad things have happened to me or were happening to me. I'd come home everyday, always being yelled at, hit or starved...and I developed a very weird eating habit that's still effecting me today. I didn't know what to do, and I remember the first cut. I remembered how it hurt so much that I needed to do it again because the physical pain always had it's way to end my mental pain but only for a short period of time.

Cutting was my drug and I was heavily addicted.

The only people I ever told was my friends because I knew that they wouldn't judge me, they'd tell me to stop or where to go for help, but I couldn't. It was my herion.

It was my herion until that day when I went into the bathroom and swallowed the bottle of Tylenol. But don't get me wrong, there were times where I have prevented myself from cutting, like a struggling addict, with the help of MCR, and they are the reason that I am still here today. Nothing else was but them.

After I got out of the hospital, I went on TWLOHA.com because I had just heard about them and their cause. And I still felt like I was battling everything, I still needed help. On the site, I saw the story of how it began and it moved me to tears. And on the top of the screen I saw the tabs for help. I knew where to get help, and I knew that finally someone would help me because everybody else who tried to help me quit on me, and somehow in my heart, I knew that only three things (people) would always be there for me: My friends, MCR, and TWLOHA.

Please, if any of you guys are struggling with depression, cutting, eating disorders, anything...go on twloha.com , they help.

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

They're amazing!

Listen to them!!! You can listen to them on imeem, I'm not sure about iTunes but I think they're on iTunes...lol

But seriously...listen to them =D

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

I actually got this as a chain message but it was so funny I had to post it on here....don't worry I didn't add the "you must send this to [enter amout of people here]" but tis funny XD

Holy crap, it's been like 6 billion years since I posted =O
But here's the new chapter ;D
Hopefully it's not shit

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Okay, so this might sound strange, well not really, but Ville and I haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant for 6 months. Yeah, six months, and I'm HUGE. Alicia already knew, but I really don't know why we hadn't told anybody. Which is weird, because we tell everybody everything, and the internet is already rumoring about it. And you know what the funny thing is? Every one of our friends always comes over and I can't help but to wonder what they thought when I started to show. Ville and I plan on telling them tonight though, just to clear things up.

Speaking of Ville, haha. He has gotten really overprotective over me and the baby. I kind of expected it because he's always been protective of me, but seriously, now he's starting to get...annoying with it. Imagine everywhere you go, your husband or boyfriend having to follow you everywhere, and even waiting outside of the bathroom or fitting room. I guess it's kind of cute in a way, but seriously, I'm friggin' pregnant and I can still handle myself. I love Ville and all, but he really needs to tone the protective thing down a bit, you know?

So, that's why I kind of left to go to Hot Topic before he woke up. Yeah, I know, evil right? But, I left a note right next to his head, literally, so he doesn't flip out and go all Reaper on my ass, haha. It only takes about 15 minutes to get to the mall anyways, which is good because I don't feel like driving forever just to go to the mall and only go to like three stores. And Hot Topic is always the first one I visit.

I pulled into the parking lot of the mall, and there was barely anyone there because it's so early and the mall just opened. Yay, a parking spot near the door. I hate it when I have to park like 3000 miles away from the mall. The walk sucks when I have too. But not today, so that's good because I'm huge and I can't see my feet and I tend to stumble sometimes. Shit, Hot Topic's on the third floor. But I can still take the elevator.

I slowly walk my way to the entrance to the mall (trying not to fall). As soon I as get in, I head straight for the elevator. I walked by a few people, mostly adults who don't want to go at night when the teens come to hang out though. I waited for the elevator for five minutes, I don't know why it took that long 'cause there's like no one here. But it finally came down. I pressed the button for level three. I turned to face the clear walls of the elevator and stared at the scenery and passing levels below me. Oh, I see the Sweet Factory. I HAVE to go there before I leave. The elevator door dinged open and there was a man with a fedora coming in as soon as I stepped out....hey, that was freaking Synyster Gates!...I wonder why he didn't say Hi. Maybe he didn't know it was me.

I shrugged and started walking to Hot Topic, passing Nestle and the food court. As soon as I stepped in the store, I noticed my favorite employee working atthe counter.

"Dan the Sweater Man!" I said cheerfully as I approached the counter. He turned and smiled back cheerfully as well. He was wearing his usual apparell. A dark green sweater (hence Dan The Sweater Man) which clung to his arms and torso, baggy dark jeans with chains attached to the pockets and a red and tan beanie that covered his brown hair. And I have to mention his lip ring that is awesome.

"Brandy! How are you?" He asked, looking at my tummy. "Hey, are you pregnant?" Finally someone who notices.

"Yes I am, and I'm fine by the way." I replied with a smirk. Dan ran his way around the counter and gave me a huge hug, well, a partial huge hug.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Dan said as he petted my stomach. I laughed and shrugged my shoulders. "You didn't find out yet? Why not?"

"Ville and I are finding out next week when I go see the doctor. I'm so excited, you have no idea how excited I am!"

"Well, now I do!" He made an excited gesture. "So what cha doing here this early? You need sleep." Eh, it's true. I do need some sleep. I haven't really slept that well in the past week and I probably won't since in three more months I'll be a mommy and then the baby won't sleep and I'll have to wait forever to sleep.

"Err...just here to shop. I'd thought I'd come early so the teenagers don't bother me later on." He nodded, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm thinking I'm going to get like extra larger shirts, though in a couple months they'll be extra big on me, but whatever."

"And if you get pregnant again you can always re-use them." Dan mentioned. Huh, never thought of that. "You need help looking for shirts?" I nodded and we started walking towards the tee shirt wall. Lots and lots of bands tees that I love, huzzah.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I said, jumping and pointing, as soon as I saw one of the new A7X tees that I really want. "That one! The white Avenged Sevenfold shirt!" Thw Sweater Man rolled his eyes and bent down to the compartment thingys under the wall and grabbed an extra large, white Avenged Sevenfold tee. I smiled graciously and scoped out other shirts.

"I have to ask," Dan said as he grabbed about three more shirts for me. "Where's Ville?"

"Oh, he's at home." I said curtly, pointing out a Paramore shirt that I wanted.

"And why didn't you..." He got cut off by the sound of my cell phone inside my purse. I handed him the five shirts to hold as I reached for my phone. 'In Joy And Sorrow' played. It was Ville.

"Hello?" I answered sweetly. "I'm at the mall....Hot Topic of course...well, I didn't want to bother you...I know, I know...No, you don't need to pick me up. I'm fine....It's only Ten o'clock...No I didn't eat yet...Yeah, I know I have to eat...I'll stop at the food court when I'm done...well I was planning on stopping by Borders and FYE too...It won't take long Ville....I don't know....Okay...Uh-huh...I'll meet you in Borders....I love you too...Bye." I sighed my phone back into my purse. I rralized that Dan was already back at the counter ringing up my shirts.

"How'd you know I was about to leave?" I asked him as soon as I reached the counter. He smiled for a slight second.

"When I heard you say 'No, I didn't eat yet'...I kind of guessed." He said as I handed him the money that I owed. he handed me the kick ass black Hot Topic bag full of my shirts.

"That was one hell of a guess," I said astonished. "Well, I'll see you later Dan The Sweater Man."

"Bye Zebra." I laughed as I walked my way to Borders to wait for Ville. I can't believe he remembers Zebra. That was such a long time ago. Haha.

I settled myself near the Fiction section of the store and pulled out City of Bones by Cassandra Clare and started to read the first chapter.

'"You've got to be kidding me,' the bouncer said, folding his arms around his massive chest. He stared down at the boy in the red zip-up jacket and shook his shaved head. 'You can't bring that thing in there.'" I read in my head from the book. 'The fifty or so teenagers in line outside the Pandemonium Club leaned forward to eavesdrop. It was a long wait to get into the all-ages club, especially on a Sunday, and not much generally happened in line. The bouncers were fierce and would come down instantly on anyone who looked like they were going to start trouble. Fifteen-year-old Clary Fray, standing in line with her best friend, Simon, leaned forward along with everyone else, hoping for some excitement.'

I looked up when I heard some footsteps in front of me, thinking that they belonged to Ville. But they didn't, they belonged to another man. he was tall and very lean, with short reddish-brown hair and pale skin. I slightly shrugged and continued with my reading.

'"Aw, come on." The kid hoisted the thing up over his head. It looked like a wooden beam, pointed at one end. "It's part of my costume."' I continued reading in my head. Huh, first few paragraphs and I likey. 'The bounder raised an eyebrow. "Which is that?"'

Okay, seriously, I think the dude that walked by me is staring at me. I'm going to take a peek. I glanced up, and immediately the dude's eyes darted back to the book that covered his face. Maybe he knows I'm Ville's wife and he could be a HIM fan and what not?

I started to read again. 'The boy grinned. He was normal-enough-looking, Clary thought, for Pandemonium. He had electric blue dyed hair that stuck up around his head like the tendrils of a startled octopus, but no elaborate facial tattoos or big metal bars though his ears or lips.' If that dude doesn't stop staring at me, I'm going to flip. Maybe not flip, but I'll get extra emotional. Okay, just read Brandy. Maybe he'll leave.

'"I'm a vampire slayer." He pished down the wooden thing. It bent as easily as a blade of grass bending sideways. "It's fake. Foam rubber. See?"' I hope to God Ville gets here soon. I skipped ahead a few paragraphs, making it look like I'm a fast reader (which I'm really not).

'"Meanwhile," Simon added. "I wanted to tell you that lately I've been cross dressing. Also, I'm sleeping iwth your mom. I thought you should know."' I laughed. I think I like this book. I want to buy it. But that dude keeps glancing at me.

I skipped another small paragraph and continued reading. 'She raised herself up on tiptoe, trying to see over the crowd. The two guys had stopped at the door and seemed to be conferring with each other. One of them was blonde, the other dark-haired.' Why won't he stop staring at me?

'The blonde one reached into his jacket and drew out something long and sharp that flashed under the strobing lights. A knife.' His eyes keep flickering from the book to me. My heart is pounding.

I skip over a lot of paragraphs now, wishing that Ville come sooner. '"Demons, drawled the blonde boy, tracing the word on the air with his finger. "Religiously defined as hell's denizens, the servanst of Satan, but understood here, for the purposes of the Clave, to be any malevolent spirit whose origin is outside our own home dimension-"

"That's enough Jace," said the girl.

"Isabelle's right, " agreed the taller boy. "Nobody here needs a lesson in semantics--or demonology."

He's still staring at me. I have to go...but I have to wait for Ville.

I skipped over another few paragraphs. 'Clary could take no more. She stepped out from behind the pillar. "Stop!" She cried. "You can't do this!"' What the fuck is this dude's problem?!

I skip over a few lines. 'It was Alec who spoke first. "What's this?" looking form Clary to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing there.

'"It's a girl," Jace said, recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one." He took a step closer to Clary, squinting as if he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. "A mundie girl," he said half to himself. "And she can see us."'

Ville, where the hell is Ville?

'"Of course I can see you," Clary said. "I'm not blind, you know."'

I'm not blind either. Ugh, when I actually need Ville to protect me, he's not here. Way to go Brandy.

I skip over again, tryin gto focus on the book and not him. '"You're right," said Jace. "You can't go around killing people." He pointed to the boy with the blue hair, whose eyes were slitted. Clary wondered if he fainted. "That's not a person, little girl. It may look like a person and talk like a person and maybe even bleed like a person. But it's a monster."'

I wonder if he's a monster...it wouldn't be the first supernatural thing I ran into...or married. I closed the book, and started to get up. I decided that I am going to buy the book so I can read it without people watching me...besides Ville. I turned and ran into a man behind me.

"Oh! Jeez! I'm so sor...Ville?" I looked up and smiled in relief. "Oh thank God." I sighed. "What took you so long?" He slightly smiled.

"I was standing here the whole time. But you were so engrossed in the book that you didn't even notice." I'm such a dumbass.

"Oh, so did you notice the tall dude over there staring at me?" I pointed to an empty isle of books. Where did he go?

"What tall dude?" Ville said, looking around protectively.

"Oh, I must have imagined it then..." But he was there.

"Are you going to buy the book?" he asked, gesturing towards City of Bones clutched in my hands.

"Yeah, yeah I am." I said, snapping back into reality. I fake smiled. Ville led me to the counter. The book only costed nearly twenty bucks, which is a good price and from what I read so far, I like the book. The woman working at the counter bagged the book. Ville took the bag.

"So where do you want to eat?" He asked me.

"Ummm...Chik Fil A." I said. Ville nodded, taking my hand. As we passed through the doors of the store. I glanced back at the isle where the dude was. I stopped dead.

He was looking back at me, this time, with no book covering his face.

"William..."

to be continued...

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The book that I was reading in this chapter is amazing...and it was actually the first chapter. I suggest that you go buy the book, cherish it, love it, worship Jace, ect....it's an amzing book!

And Dan The Sweater man is real too...I love that dude!!!!!

Not very creative since they're all grayscaled with some color, but they look cool....and there's 30 of them! o.O

lol..but some of them have mistakes...so yeah lol

I swear to God that someone in Heaven HATES me!

Okay, here's how my dayis so far, and it's only 7:57 am....let's see. My mom wakes me up and asks me if I can go down to Dunkin Donuts to get her coffee and me pepsi, I did but the doors were still locked...figures....and I go down a second time and the doors are still locked, and I go down the third time and it's open, thank god. But then, I leave for school with my sister and after over a half an hour of waiting there, the bus never comes. So we decide to leave...Ian (my friend) flags down his mom for a ride and my sister and my best friend and him get a ride...and guess what? No room for me....so I go home and call the school and they say that a bus would be coming. But no one was at the bus stop because everybody left and I couldn't go alone...and school started and they don't send out buses for the Senior High when school starts...fucking shit....so I call my mom again and she tells me to call her boyfriend to see if he can give me a ride, but he can't because he's at work. So I call my mom again and she tells me to call the school and tell them I'm not coming in at all....and I should be happy because of not going to school but I'm not, I'm pissed. Because:

1. Sofia was going to introduce me to my crush today

2. I have an essay and an assignment to hand in today for English and my teacher already hates me because everytime I try to email her my essay, the email never goes through and she told me to hand in a printed copy today, and now I can't because I have no way of getting to school.

I'm sooo pissed...I'm crying...and I'm getting all these urges to tear open my arm but I'm trying not to because it's been a year since the last cut and I don't want to go back to the mental hospital...that place is horrible!

So I'm trying to keep my hands busy today...and tomorrow...I'm going to bring a note to my english teacher and tell her to call my mom if she doesn't believe me and she's probably going to give me a zero for my 100 point essay and this year just sucks! Gah!

It's do weird, and evil, and just extra mean. Okay, so I have a really really huge crush on this new guy in school. And I mean HUGE! Like, when I see him, I stop breathing immediately. And I always see him everyday, so I' basically don't breathe, lol. But anyways, I was telling Deanna about him yesterday and I wanted to whisper it to her because 1. he was right there and 2. I don't want much people knowing about it and 3. One of my other friends was there and he likes me, or at least I think he does. But, he interferred with my whispering and heard everything I said *grrrr*...and Deanna goes "Okay Mikey, lets just go over there, where Cory is, and just 'bump' into him and introduce yourself" and I said no, because I'll stop breathing and die. And then she says "Well, now that I know what he looks like, I can just go up to him for you and say 'My friend thinks you're hot'" and he is really good looking, but that's not why I like him. And the funny thing is, I didn't even know his name (now I do yay) but I sensed something about him that fascinated me and that's what usually gets my crushes started....but I decided that I would go over to where he was, but I don't have the guts to talk to him. And my friend who likes me also heard that convo and said "Oh, I'll go with you to give you some moral support". Translation :I'll go with you, but keep you two apart so I have a shot with you. *rolls eyes* And I don't even like my friend like that. I don't think he gets the hint. I just wanna be friends, nothing more.

But Sofia knows my crush, she's friends with him (and I just found out yesterday that she was lol) and she said that she'dintroduce me to him. And she said that he was really nice and shy, and I love that in a guy, and he has long blonde hair, and I love to play with peoples hair (I already knew about his hair, I just thought I'd mention it). But also, she'd have to introduce me in the morning and I don't think I'll ba able to get away from my friend who likes me....what do I do??? Maybe I shouldn't go to our table, maybe I should wait for Sof outside, or maybe I should hang near Cory cuz that's where my crush is normally, but then I wouldn't have anyone to tell me to breathe...okay, seriously, why are these things so hard???

I'm extra uberly sad. My binder for three years has died.

I know I sound so over dramatic, but all of my friends say that it was "The escence of Brandy". It's so sad! 'Cause me and my friend Tory named my baby (my binder) Thumblena. Tis so sad, I woved that binder. And trust me when I say this, that binder carried everything of mine! Now, I need a new one :(

lol...I feel so weird saying that, but it's true. And now, you can actually ask my friends about it. lol. (and now, the only people who need a buzznet is Sofia, Eryn, and Tory....*goes to bug them about it*)

I dunno why I wrote that, but I did so ha!

Anyhoo....

Sorry it's taking me forever to write the next chapter to "Love Reaper"...I'm kind of caught on the roller coaster called Life right now, and it's fricken scary...lol. Sooooo much D-R-A-M-A with my friends and everybody, and me? I gots caught in the middle as usual. Fun right? Not.

Anyways, heres what happened. One of my friends was panicking on why another one of my friends was "ignoring" her, which she wasn't, they just didn't have any classes together this year so it was no biggie really. But then, haha, drama with my stupid sister again. Well, she's in the Navy now, not offically until she graduates High School and this is her last year, but she decides to ask out a dude (who's my friend) two years younger than her because she doesn't like being single. Desperate? Yup. So I yelled at her for it because she's leaving in July to go to Chicago, Ill.  So why have a bf if she's just going to end up leaving? for boot camp...with no contact basically...sheesh.

And then, a few days ago, we found a kitten lingering around our house. She's sooo cute. And the next day, me and my sister were walking to our bus stop and the little kitten (who we named Emma) followed us and nearly got hit by a bus. She got so scared that she ran away and we were going to give her to our friend Tanya. But we couldn't find her after school. But as I was hanging out at the park, my friend Ian finds me and says "I think that kitten you were looking for is hiding under my bush" and sure enough, it was her. So I went and got her (and got clawed cuz Emma say a dog and the cut is HUGE) and I gave her to my friend finally.

Oh and I hate school. My Chem teacher, Geometry teacher and World Civ teacher all decide to say "Og, I forgot, you have a quiz tomorrow on this, this, and this". I had a panic attack that night about and it literally studied all night and I got sooo sick that I had to stay home from school the next day and now tomorrow I have to make up all the quizzes *rolls eyes*. Fun.

I'll try to post the next chapter in the next few days, if I don't, then I'm a dickhead lol.

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

Add one of my very bestest friends Rachel: bertthefartinghippo now! Pa-Lease!!!! She's effing awesome and funny and nice and ah! I ♥ her! You must add please! Add! Add! Add!....NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you...lol

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

Today is the 7th anniversary of September 11th, 2001. A tragic day in american history when thousands of innocent people we killed.

You know, I remember that day almost exactly, and I was only in the third grade. It was a normal day, and no one knew that the terror attacks were to take place, except for those who planned the attack themselves. I remember sitting in class, writing down the math problem on the board and the principle came on the loud speaker and told us to hide under our desks, I didn't know why, but I had to. The whole school thought that there were going to be planes crashing into more buildings all across the US.

It was a very long time before the Principle came back on the Loud Speaker and told us that it was okay to get up, but you could tell in her voice that she had been crying, or at least panicked. Five minutes after that, my mom bursted into the school and took me home while her ex was picking up my older sister from her school. My mom wouldn't tell me what happened, but I knew it was horrible, as did every one else on the streets and in the school.

I finally figured out why everyone was panicked when I got home because it was all over the news. A Terror Attack on the Twin Towers in New York City, thousands dead, more missing.

And I finally knew why my principle thought that we were going to get attacked too, or at least I thought I did. The kids in the Junior High and Senior High went on a trip to New York City that day. When the Towers were attacked, they were on a ferry, just about to make dock when the plane crashed into the first Tower. I guess that my principle thought that schools would be attacked too.

That night of the horrid attack, my whole family, and thousands of other families, prayed for those who lost their lives that day and for those who went missing and were still be dug out of the rubble. I never really understood why someone or someones would do that to people, to take peoples lives like that. Mothers, Fathers, Aunts, Uncles, Daughters, Sons, Friends...and I still don't understand. It's been 7 years and everything has basically stayed the same after the attack. All we can do now is mourn for those who lost their lives, and those who sacrificed theirs to save other peoples lives too.

We will always remember.

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday Dear Mikey!

Happy Birthday to you!

We ALL love you!!!!!!

I hope your birthday is wicked awesome and I hope you get everything that you wanted! Happy 28th my dear Mikey!!!!! ♥

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

"You're going to have to tell him sometime, Brandy," ALicia said to me from the other end of the phone line. It's been nearly two years since the whole Reaper thing and losing my best friend happened. Since then, I've gotten closer to a lot of my friends more than ever, so has Ville, and we all have been nearly inseperable. Gerard and LynZ have gotten pretty close too, I guess you all know they're married now. Their anniversary was just the other day. At least Gerard has gotten over his "secret" love for me. That's good for both me and him. And LynZ too, haha.

"I know. I just don't know how to tell him." I replied in a snappy tone. "I'm nervous as hell." A lot of stuff has been going on lately too. HIM's tour just ended and I'm super happy to have Ville back, and basically all of the guys from MCR have been getting married, my work is keeping me busy as well too. And this, this is keeping me super busy. Ugh, and I feel sick too.

"Okay, just repeat after me and you'll do fine." Alicia said, I sighed in response. " Okay, say: 'Ville, I have something important to tell you.'"

"Ville," I inhaled sincerely. "I have something important to tell you."

"'I think I may be pregnant.'" She paused, waiting for my repeat. I hesitated. "Say it or...or I'll make Frank go over there and tell Ville for you."

"But I don't know if I am or not!" I began to argue.

"Brandy..." She sang in a warning and a bit pissed off tone.

"Fine," I said like a child who had just been ordered to clean their room. "Ville, I have something important to tell you. I think I may be pregnant." I mumbled.

"Good good. Now, all you need to do is say that to your husband. And no, I'm not going to be there when you tell him. You've got to learn to do things on your own." I groaned, flopping down on mine and Ville's bed. I do things on my own...sometimes. Fine, I'm that kind of person who's kind of...afraid...to do things on their own. But I have good reasons, I think. Well maybe it's because I'm always afraid that William will come back and actually succeed in killing my Ville, though Ville is a Reaper...with a heartbeat.

"Okay, fine then. I'll call you tomorrow after I tell him. Näkemiin, Alicia." I clicked the phone off before ALicia could say her goodbyes, knowing her, she's probably rolling her eyes at me now. I threw the phone on the pillow nest to my head. I slowly got up, feeling a bit nauseous. Maybe I am pregnant. I mean, I fit the symptoms. Miss period, nausea, modd swings, my freaking boobs got bigger (which may be a good thing haha), I've been getting a lot of weird food cravings, and I've been peeing a lot and puking a lot. Oy, this shall be fun...if I am pregnant.

Well, I did take a pregnancy test a few days ago. It came back as positive, but it could be a false positive right? ALicia made me go to the doctors office and take one of thier pregnancy tests, but those results come back in a few days. Well, it's been a few days and no calls. Bastards.

I wanted to tell Ville so bad about my suspicions, we've been trying forever now. I just don't want to get his hopes up. Well, if I am pregnant he's going to find out sooner or later, and if I'm not, why get him all hyped up about it just to make him sad if hw finds out that I'm not? But, I have decided to tell him anyways. And if I'm not pregnant (which seem sunlikely to me), maybe it'll make him...try harder.

I sighed, walking slowly to the dresser across the room. Ville's going out tonight with Bam, so I'm telling him tomorrow. Tonight, I'm just going to relax. It's very well needed, trust me. I grabbed a white lace nightgown out of the top dresser and a pair of white panties along with it. I need a bath, not because I smell or anything, because taking a bath with candles and music helps me to relax a little.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" A lovely finnish accent whispered in my ear.A long pair of arms wrapped around my waist and Ville kissed my neck. Ugh, his aftershave smells and it's kind of making me sick. But I don't think it's showing through on my face.

"Oh, I'm just going to take a bath." I said with a smile on my face. Thank God I can make my nose not breathe, or smell, because his aftershave really stinks-and I used to like it! Ville kissed my neck again.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm leaving and I should be back at Eleven...or later because it's Bam." He chuckled. I turned around and hugged him, catching a wiff of his aftershave yet again. Damn me. But, I held strong, no puking, yay.  I pulled back a little, just to look him in his beautiful face, and I smiled. God his aftershave is really killing the moment.

"Be back as soon as possible. i have something important to tell you." I said in a serious tone.

"Why not tell me now?" He asked, still with a smile in place.

"Cause," I said. "Well, no reason really. I just want to tell you later." I kissed him quickly on the lips and started walking to the bathroom.

"You're cruel." He joked as I closed the bathroom door. I laughed while pulling a towl out of the closet and setting it next to the tub. I turned the water on hot and cold to make it warm, and let it run as I set out the candles (four of them) at the front and end of the tub. Peaches and Petals was the scent and they smelled good. I quickly undressed and popped one of my Jason Mraz CD's in then climbed into the tub.

The first song started to play, and I started to relax and sing along with it. "Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not me, oh things are going to happen naturally. And taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side and balancing the whole thing..."

The phone rang, interupted my horrible sing-along to Jason Mraz. I groaned and started to get up.

"I'll get it!" I heard Ville call from outside the door. I sighed and sat back down. He didn't leave yet, or he forgot his keys or sometihng. I started back up with my singing at the second verse of the song.

"See I'm all about them words, over numbers, unencumbered, numbered words. Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards. More worda then I have ever heard and I feel so alive. Now you and I...hey! I was singing to that!" I hollered as Ville shut of my CD player.

I started to get up again, but Ville motioned me to stop. "Back in the tub." He said calmly.

"You just want to see me naked, don't you?" Ville cracked a smile, but shook his head no. he walked over to the tub, now standing above me with a weird look on his face. Ugh, I can smell his aftershave again. He bent down and became face to face with me, oh now I'm scared.

"The doctor just called," he said smoothly. Uh-oh. He looked me in the eyes with a slight smirk on his face.

"And?" I said nervously.

"And...you're pregnant." He smiled. I sighed in relief. One, because he was scaring me because he had the freakin' blank, Micheal Meyers expression on his face. Two, because now I know. I looked up at Ville, a smile growing on my face as well. "Why didn't you tell me that you went to go see the doctor?"

"You remember about fifteen, twenty minutes ago I told you that I had to tell you something important?" He nodded, I continued. "That was it. I was going to tell you that I thought I was pregnant. But now I know I'm pregnant. So Ville, I have something important to tell you, I'm pregnant." He shook his, 'cept this time there was no smile on his face.

"Scoot over." He said to me, taking off his clothes and sliding in the tub next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I laid my head on his. "Why didn't you tell me when you first started suspecting that you were pregnant? And when did you suspect that you were pregnant?"

"When I peed on a stick and it said 'PREGNANT.' That Clear Blue pregnancy test really is the most sophisticated piece of technology that I've ever peed on," Ville chuckled once, and waited for me to continue. "And I didn't tell you off the bat because I didn't want to get your hopes up, you know?"

He kissed my forehead and didn't answer. "You're not mad at me are you?" I asked innocently.

"No, I'm not mad at all. But at least we know now that we're going to be parents." I smiled, wrapping my bubbly arm around his torso.

"Good, because your aftershave really stinks."

to be continued...

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I hope you guys like it. I think it's kind of a sucky first chapter but loads more will be happening. And I mean LOADS more.