Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin

Ugh, I'm home sick again =/  Here's the next chapter :P

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"What are you talking about?" I asked as Ville sat down on the bed right next to me. His green eyes were full of guilt and sorrow. I had the strange urge to comfort him even though I was hurt and Frank was stabbed but his sorrow had meant something to me. I know it does because the sadness in his eyes is breaking my heart.

"Brandy, there's so much that I need to tell you but we don't have much time, " He sighed and looked down at the children who were looking so eagerly at him. Desdemona outstretched her arms to him. "You never had a one night stand with a stranger, Brandy. Kaiden and Des aren't fatherless. You were never a single mother."

"What are you saying?" My mind was spinning. I remember seeing his face in my head, but I thought that I was just putting it there out of paranoia. His eyes and Kaidens eyes are the same...but I have green eyes too.

"You are apart of some sick and twisted game that I had never meant for you to be apart of. You are my wife and those are my children. But some sick psychopathic Reaper claimed that he loved you and the only way to end this is the stupid game that the Judges made up. I'm sorry, none of this was ever meant to happen." He said in a rush. My heart completely fell. Is this what I'm remembering? The past? Where has my memory gone? I need to get out of here. I need to save my kids...

"I'm leaving." I said, standing up and fighting off the dizziness that seemed to overwhelm me. I pushed past Rachel and Frank and Bob and Ray and entered a hallway that seemed so familiar.

"Brandy, wait!" I heard Ville's footsteps following me as I went down the stairs. Desdemona was crying. I don't know for what.  And Kaiden was smiling as he looked back and saw Ville right behind me. Ville touched my shoulder and I froze automatically. "You can't leave. Gaspard is still out there."

"Is this apart of the game, Ville? Am I supposed to get hurt? Are my children meant to be in danger? I don't understand." Ville was looking down at Desdemona. Her arms were out towards him. "She wants you -her daddy- doesn't she?"

"Yes." He said carefully. "Can I?-" I nodded and he took Desdemona out of my arms and started rocking her gently. Little Kaiden touched my face with his little hands and laughed. He was wiping away my tears with his little fingers. Ville sighed, distracting me from my pending thoughts. "There's a play pen over there, darling. We should put the children in there while we talk. We need to talk."

"Ville-"

"Please. It's important." I looked at the children yet again and nodded slowly. I put Kaiden into the pen first and then Ville put Des in there next to her brother. Dessie started to sniffle again and Kaiden reached out to her and touched her arm and made her smile.

"He loves his sister very much," I stated. "He'd do anything to make her feel better." Ville wasn't really paying attention to me. I looked up at him and saw that he was looking elsewhere. I followed his gaze. There were people in the doorway. Ville's hand grasped my arm. My eyes grew wide as I stared at a teenage boy with green eyes and brown hair standing next to a girl with the same features. Twins.

"I still do everything I can to make her feel better." He said with a smile. "Hi mom. Hi dad."  I felt the whole room go sideways. Ville's arm moed around to my waist and kept me standing. The two men standing behind them suddenly came into light. One man had black hair an extremely pale skin. He was tall and lean. I remember him. I remember being in a room with the black box with him...Chris...

The other man looked oddly familiar too. The other man had longish brownish hair and big brown eyes. He, like the other man, was pale, tall and lean too. Is that William Beckett from The Academy is...? And, that's Chris Corner from IAMX. I let my gaze fall back on Ville who was looking down at my bewildered face. He tried to smile. He turned and looked at William and Chris and smiled.

"Thank you for bringing them here. I feared that Gaspard would go back to the future and threaten them again."

"He threatened my kids?" I looked at Kaiden and Dessie, the babies and then the teens. I remember the cemetery. There was multiples of people. I remember a mirror. Was it a mirror? Was it me? "I'm going to kill him."

"Can't," Kaiden said. "I already tried. So did Morden. Apparently you can't kill a Reaper." Older Kaiden and Dessie walked over to the pen and looked down at their baby selves and smiled. "I'm so cute." Dessie rolled her eyes. Des looked at me (I probably still look shocked) and frowned. She walked over to Ville and I and wrapped her arms around us both.

"Don't be scared-or sad- we're fine, really." she said.

"You look just like me." I said and Dessie laughed. "And Kaiden looks so much like Ville but you both look the same." I put both of my arms around my daughter and kissed the top of her head. Des hugged just me and I know that Ville was smiling. Dessie pulled away and she had a smile on her face.

"You know what's really funny? I'm a daddy's girl and Kaiden is a momma's boy." I laughed. Suddenly, an image flashed into my mind. Another memory?

"Don't...hurt...him." I said with a controlled anger. Gaspard #1 pushed me back against teh wall and pinned me there.

"Now you listen to me and you listen good," he said with a clearly visible white rage. "You will do whatever I ask of you. You will stay here and be as quiet as you can whole Gaspard and I send Ville to trial. He will be placed in jail for eternity wihle you and I, and the children, live a very happy life together. Do you understand?" I stared at him without saying one word. "I said, do you understand?"

"Brandy, darling, are you okay?" Ville asked with concern in his eyes. I stared at my children (all four of them) and they brought tears to my eyes. I didn't know how to respond. I don't think I'll ever be okay again.

"He threatened my children-our children." I looked up at Ville. "And you're my husband? Why don't I remember?" Before Ville could respond, I interupted. "We need to get the kids away. We need to hide. But they need to get back to the future too because we can't mess up their future. If we can find our futures selves and make them hide too..."

"Mom," Kaiden walked over to me and wiped away my tears. "Everything will be okay, I promise." Kaiden hugged me too and I heard little Kaiden make a noise. "You are a momma's boy."

"Thanks, Dessie." I heard him mutter to his sister. Something then clicked inside my head. I remember their faces- Sofia, Atilla, Morden, Lyn-Z, Jamia, everyone- and I remember them in the future too. Where's Gerard? Where's my best friend? And where's Kyle? I don't remember him being apart of the game...

"They made a plot twist." I muttered to myself. All eyes were on me and I could feel their gazes burning holes in me. "They-they made a fucking plot twist."

"Sweetie, I think you need to sit down." Ville said.

"No! No, you don't get it! I figured it out!" I said, feeling an awkward addrenaline(sp?) flow through me. "Gaspard broke the rules! He's not in it anymore! And I do love you, so I choose you! But he doesn't know that I know now, Ville! He still sees Kyle as threat! Kyle isn't a Reaper at all. He isn't truly a part of the game, Ville! We need to find him and save him!"

to be continued...

I meant to post this earlier but I had a doctors appointment. My mom had to make sure that I didn't have the Swine flu. I still don't know, but I think (and the doctor too) that I have a virus or strep. So, here's the next chapter :)

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"NO!" I screamed and lunged myself at Gaspard and Frank to stop them from hurting each other. Gaspard threw the knife up into Frank's abdomen before I could pull him off of my friend. Gaspard staggered backwards and I pulled Frank up to his feet. Frank didn't even look affected by the stab wound, but pissed off. I can't blame him, though, I'd be pretty pissed if I got stabbed too.

Gaspard threw himself at us in a lightning fast motion. Frank quickly threw me to the side and ripped the knife out of his stomach and slashed Gaspards face with it. My knees were scrapped and bleeding and my hands were stinging but that didn't stop me from trying to stop them from killing each other. I tugged at Gaspards steel like arms to try and stop him from strangling Frank (Gaspard now had his hands around Franks throat). Gaspard screamed and with on swift movement, he hit me in the side of the head and sent me flying back ten feet. I landed on my back and the back of my head hit the pavement hard. I wasn't knocked out, my head just hurt like fuck and my vision was a little messed up. I looked up and saw Frank take the knife and stab Gaspard in the shoulder with it. Gaspard staggered back in pain and Frank yelled, "Get her out of here! Take her home, Raquel!" And in a moments  notice, I was in the arms of a beautiful woman with turquoise blue hair.

She took off running with me in the opposite direction of my house. I looked back at Frank and Gaspard. I heard someone yell something into the air when I looked back and I saw a large blue sword spring into life. Somebody I didn't recognize plunged the thing into Gaspards shoulder and both Frank and that person took off after Raquel and I. And that's when everything went black.

"Is she waking up yet?"  I heard Frank say to someone as I started to come to.

"She totally is. Damn, she always gets hurt. I think we need to get her abody guard or something." It was Rachel. Am I home? Where are my kids? "Chill, Brands. We're at Frank's house and Kaiden and Dessie are in the other room with Bob and Ray and Mikey." Dude, did I say that outloud?

"What happened?" I said as I sat up and felt a strange headache. There was a dim light in the room- a strangely familiar room- and a glass of water and two aspirins on the nightstand next to the bed. I graciously put the pills in my mouth and gulped it down. It started to work almost instantly. And then I realized that my head was bandaged and I felt like a zombie.

"You always get hurt, O fragile one," Frank said as he took a seat on the bed I was in next to me. "Thank goodness Raquel and I were there or you wouldn've been stabbed."

"Oh, Frank! Are you okay?! I saw you get stabbed and I tried to get him off of you!-"

"I'm okay. I heal fast. But the question is, are you okay? You've been out for quite a while." I shrugged and slung my legs over the bed, making it look like I was about to get up but decided against it. I felt a wave of dizziness and just sat there, waiting for it to go away.

"I'm so confused. First, I get all of these dreams or 'memories' of things I don't remember, and then three guys want me, and I fall in love with two of them and get attacked by the third one and then you get stabbed and I swear I saw someone else there besides you and Raquel. I'm so confused. Where are my kids? Can I have them, please?" Frank gave Rachel and nod and she left for a moment and then came back in with two guys holding my little darlings. Ray and Bob. Ray is the one with the curly, puffy hair. I remember him now. I remember one time when Ray tried to teach me how to play guitar but I couldn't do it. I didn't have the patience. And Bob is the one with the blonde hair and blue eyes. Me and Bob used to randomly sing to each other about random things like cats or mayo. And they had my kids in their arms with smiles on their faces. And I didn't mind.

I outstretched my arms for my kids. Kaiden went into my left arm and Dessie in my right. Kaidens green eyes stared up at me with a smile on his face while Dessie looked around at everyone in the room and giggled. I kissed their heads and held them close to me.

"What's going on? Why am I remembering all of these things? Why is all of this bad things happening to me?" Everyone looked down or uncomfortable or looked at each other with nervous glances. I heard someone sigh from the doorway. Everyone turned their heads as Ville came in with an exasperated look on his face.

"I think it's time to tell her, guys. I'm sick of all of this and causing her pain." He said. Everyone looked back at me again as Ville said that. My mouth grew dry and I knew that this could not be good at all.

to be continued...

Here's the first chapter. It's basically Darla's, Paija's, Tayor's (Lautner), and Maryjane's POV for the first chapter. I'm going to be writing the second chapter soon :)

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DARLA:

I have always known that this would happen. It happened before, twice, but now it's my turn. A punch in the face, falling backwards and down the stairs. My back is sore from the whipping I took. My face stings. A razor slashed it a couple times. Hopefully the cuts aren't deep enough to leave scars if I survive. I hear my little brother screaming. He's hurting him too and I can't do anything to help him. My voice sounds like I'm choking for air, my vision is blurry and I can't function.

            "Darla!" I hear my little brother scream for me and then scream out. I heard a thump from the upstairs. This is not a good sign. If he's hurt him as badly as I'm hurt...

            "You little bitch! Did you really think that you can just run away from me?" I heard his heavy footsteps pounding on the stairs to get to me. A big fist knotted up in my hair and jerked my head forward. I screamed and I heard Edward gasp. "Get down here boy or I'll kill her on the spot!" My father screamed. I heard Edward hesitate but his light little footsteps walked like a zombie down the stairs. He's scared stiff. I heard him scream out in pain again. With my blurry vision, I could see that father had a fist full of Edward's hair too.

            Before I knew it, I was hoisted up onto my feet and was practically dragged outside. My father was muttering under his breath about us being as noisy and stupid as the baby. I started to fight him. I knew what he was going to do. Edward has to leave, he has to run and get help. I kicked my father in his man area. He let go just enough for me to grab Edward.           

            "Run, Edward! Get help!" I screamed. He looked at me and then at father who screamed in aggravation. Edward darted off down the road. A pair of hands grabbed my neck and threw me onto the ground. He punched me in the head a couple times and then took my legs and started to drag me towards the woods behind the house. I screamed, I tried to kick but it didn't work.

            He dragged me to the place where he had always been digging holes. Or graves. He stopped in front of a hole that was big enough for me to be put in. He let go of my legs to pick up a shovel for the dirt. I rolled onto my stomach and tried to push myself up but a hard, shovel head slammed into my back. He pulled me by the hair and threw me into the ground. I couldn't move at all.

            Dirt rained all around me and I knew that I was being buried alive. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do anything. I just prayed that someone would help me and help my brother. I prayed that God would strike my father down right now so I could get away and find Edward.

            I was trapped in a dirt coffin. There was no air. I panicked and started to dig myself out. The dirt was heavy, like a ton a bricks, it was so hard. But I was so happy that he's stupid and didn't dig a deep hole.

            There were so many bright lights. I felt the shovel hit my back again and I screamed. He still was there. "If you say anything, bitch, I'll make sure that Edward never sees the light of day again." And he took off running in the opposite direction.

            A few men with flashlights and guns found me only moments later. They asked me questions and they shouted in my ear. The stretcher came for the ambulance to take me away. I couldn't even ask about Edward or where he was or if he was okay. He must have been, though, because the cops came at the perfect time. My little brother, the hero.

            There were so many people crowded around me at the hospital. My aunt, my granny and grandpa and bunches of doctors and nurses. The machines were driving me crazy. The beeping and the little sounds and noises. Why won't everything just stop?! So many voices crowded my mind. The doctors saying "Can you tell me what hurts?" and my relatives saying "Oh, Darla, what happened?" and the police saying "Who did this?" I didn't know what to say, if I could say anything at all. All I could think about was little Edward. His little pale face full of freckles and his brown eyes filled with love and admiration and how much of a hero he was for saving me. My little brother. It kills me that I don't know where he is.

            The doctors, only days later, came in to tell me that I could go home today. I started freaking out. I shook my head no and cried. I think they knew then that someone at home had hurt me. And since my mothers dead and my father ran off that night, well, they knew who did this to me. They told me an hour later that I would be going to a salvation house in Pennsylvania. They said that it was in the mountains and it was very lovely there and I would like it.

            "It's called Heart Salvation House for Neglected and Abused Children. It won't be like a clinic where you're told what to do. You can do whatever it is you like except during group hour. You'll be staying in the Teenager wing. Don't worry, it's not jam packed there are only thirteen other teens in that wing. You'll be fine." They told me that I would be going tonight and that they got my clothes from my house. They haven't told me a thing about Edward, but all I could do was nod. If I wanted to keep Edward alive, all I had to do was nod and not say a word.

PAIJA:

            I hate waking up this early in the morning. Yep, six a.m. and hating this damn alarm clock. I can't quite fathom the reason that they have to wake us up this early in the morning. My boyfriend Gabe told me that they let the little kids sleep until eight. I'm so jealous, but I can't blame them for letting the little ones sleep in because, well, they're little and they need their sleep more than we do. I guess they wake us up first so we can have group first and then get on with whatever we want to do today.

            Today, though, I am excited because Gabe is taking me out on a hike and then into town. There's this cute little restaurant/store there called The Jolly Trolley. It's basically for families with little kids but I like going there. And Gabe said that he'd buy me a little stuffed animal that they sell there. I think I'll name the thing after him, ha-ha. I think he'd enjoy that. I pulled myself slowly out of bed to get dressed and to wake my roommate but it looks like she's already up. I don't see how she can wake up so early in the morning. I'd be cranky.

            "Hey, are you up, Paija?"  I heard Charisma's voice from the other side of the door. She probably heard my alarm clock and thought that I ripped the cord out of the wall again. Sleep, people need their sleep. Don't they know that?

            I decided just to go to group in my jammies. I'll change when we're all done and then Gabe and I can leave. I opened the bedroom door to see Charisma smiling at me. She's always so bright and happy. Maybe it's because she loves us kids? I think so. She treats all of us as if she was the one who birthed us instead of our real mothers. But, that also does raise a very important question: Who's our father? Gabe and I think that Drew and Charisma have something going on that we don't know about. We don't ask her about it, we don't even ask Drew about it, we just mostly assume.

            Charisma walked with me downstairs and told me that a new girl was coming today. She said that her name was Darla Weylyn and we should all be nice to her because she's here for the same reason we're all here.

            "She doesn't talk, at all. So when we have group today, she probably won't say a thing." Charisma said a little more loudly when we got into the living room. It doesn't look like everyone's awake. All I see is Rain with Ryan (who's her boyfriend), Gabe, Kitsch (his name is Taylor but there are two Taylor's here so we call them by their last name), Lautner (the other Taylor), Maryjane with her boyfriend Frank, Emily with her boyfriend Jimmy, Steven, and Amy, one of the other workers here like Charisma. I find it awesome that they let us date each other. For some reason I thought that they'd never let us go out with each other. I thought there was some strict rule about it or something. Well, there's supposed no "sexual intercourse" going on, but I think some of these teens broke that rule a couple of times. But what do you expect nowadays with us teens?

            "Is she here already? I don't see her." I said, looking around for an unfamiliar person.

            "She'll be here in a few minutes. I have to go wake the others up, so why don't you guys take a seat and chill." Charisma disappeared up the stairs. I decided that I need a Monster right now. I need some energy. As if reading my mind, Gabe handed me the Monster that he had in his hand. I totally love this guy. He knows me so well. I chugged the whole can and Gabe just rolled his eyes. I could feel the rush of energy run through me in just a matter of seconds. When Charisma came downstairs with Marisa and Delfina, she gave me a weird look like she knew that I was all hyped up now.

            Gabe sat on the couch and pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me too. He's such a cutie-pie.

            "Ew! It's all sticky!" Rain shouted as soon as she sat down on the chair closest to the door.

            "That's what she said." I smiled and the whole room cracked up. Rain and Charisma both rolled their eyes at me. I can't help it, making that's what she said jokes is my thing. It's in my blood, ha-ha.

            We all heard the sound of tires on the gravel outside. The new girl is here. I wonder what she's like, besides the whole not-talking thing. I wonder what happened to her. I wonder how we're going to do group with a mute. Steven must have read my mind because he asked what I've been thinking.

            "How are we going to do group with a mute? How are we supposed to get to know her if she doesn't speak at all?" Steven asked with a bit of arrogance in his voice. "How about we make her talk for group? You know, to make it easier?" Emily reached over and smacked Steven on the back of his head like Gibbs does to DiNozzo on NCIS.

            "If she doesn't want to talk, then she doesn't have to. She'll start to talk when she feels like it, Steven. We can't make her." Steven crossed his arms and leaned back into the couch. He is such a diva.

            "I will explain how we're going to communicate when she gets inside. And I need someone to show her around. Oh, and Paija, Maryjane, she'll be our guys' new roommate. So, make her feel at home here. Well, not literally. But, you know what I mean." Just after she said that (like, right on que, which seemed kind of awesome) the front door opened and Brian and Drew came in holding a suitcase in their hands. A small looking girl came in after them. Her hair was a coppery red color and her skin was pale white. She looked so breakable and porcelain like. I could tell that everyone was staring at her. They probably were checking out the curls that hung loose on that girl's head. She did look exactly like a porcelain doll, except real and kind of creepy in a way.

            She even kind of dressed like one too. She's wearing a noodle-strapped white dress with some ruffles and lace at the ends. She wore an olive green jacket that had rose buttons and knee high black boots. When she looked up, I heard Maryjane gasp.  The new girls' eyes are a light green color that just pops out at everyone and her lashes are extremely long. I envy her lashes.

            "Guys, this is Darla Weylyn." Amy finally chimed in with her child-like voice. Darla grasped the backpack that she was holding closely to her chest. She looked down, as if she was ashamed of her own name. That poor girl needs a hug.

            Amy led her to the empty space right next to Gabe and I. The girl white-knuckled her bag as if I were about to steal it. I do wonder what is in it. Amy left to help Brian and Drew carry Darla's bag to our room. Charisma was smiling at the frightened girl who was trying to keep her eyes off of everyone but staring at the floor. I looked at everyone else in the room. Lautner was staring at Darla like he was extremely fascinated with her. Rain was playing with Ryan's sunglasses; Kitsch was twiddling his thumbs while Marisa played with his hair. Jimmy kept poking Emily and Emily kept poking him back. I want to be in a poking war...

            "So," Char said, making everyone in the room jump. "Let's get started shall we?"

            Steven cleared his throat and jerked his head toward Darla. He is persistent. Emily rolled her eyes and I can tell that she wanted to slap him in the back of the head again. Mark would be proud that she learned so quickly. Mark is the founder of Heart and he happens to be LeRoy Jethro Gibbs in NCIS. This whole place is run by actors and actresses and singers who want to help us abused kids. Charisma played Cordelia Chase in "Angel" and in "Buffy The Vampire Slayer." Amy played Winifred Burkel and Illyria in "Angel". Hugh (he's not here now because he's picking up his girlfriend Eryn from the airport) plays Wolverine in "X-Men" and there are loads of other famous people helping here too, like Hayley Williams who volunteers here twice a week.

            "Yes, I'm getting to that Steven," Charisma stood up and reached over to hand Darla some papers. I took them for her because she wasn't paying attention. I slipped them on top of her backpack and she looked strangely at me, like she thought that I was going to hurt her. "Darla, honey, those are the questions that we usually bring up at group. Like 'what happened in your childhood?' and 'how do we feel about our past?' and things like that. There are also questions on there about yourself so we can get to know you better without you having to talk. So, let's get started."

LAUTNER:

            I couldn't keep my eyes off of the new girl. I don't know what it was or why I couldn't, but, she's just so mesmerizing in a way. She looks so fragile and so...so innocent. I had to fight off the urge to go up to her and just hug her. And the way her curls fell around her face and over her shoulders...

            "Lautner? Hello, earth to Lautner.  Are you in there? Hello?" Delfina asked, waving her hand in front of my face. I blinked and smiled, nodding my head. Del rolled her eyes at me and leaned back into Steven who put his arm around her shoulders. I hate how I'm the only one here (besides Darla now) who is single. I bet Drew and Charisma are going. I think everyone knows that or thinks that but no one questions them about it. It's ridiculous but I guess no one wants to be nosy or get chastised by Charisma.

            "We're going around the group and telling what happened to each of you. It's supposed to be therapy so stop daydreaming and pay attention." And that is what I mean about being chastised by Charisma. She's always a little too angry when she's annoyed. "It's you turn." I sighed.

            I've been here two months already and every single time this topic comes up in group...I just can't tell anyone yet. I can't say it. I don't want to yet. "Not yet." I said very quietly to the group. Everyone's eyes turned onto the new girl who was holding the clipboard and a pen. She looked up with confused eyes after a few short moments of silence.

            "Does anyone want to read what she wrote or should I?" Charisma said. Everyone else remained silent so, I just raised my hand. I hate being completely silent in group when this comes up. If I don't want to share my own story, why note share someone else's? Darla outstretched the clipboard to me. It was shaking slightly and her cheeks were a rosy color. I stared at her when I took it from her hands and she looked down, blushing more.

I gazed down at what she wrote on the paper. I burrowed my eyebrows when I read it. Mostly because her hand writing is so neat and old fashioned. But when I registered what she wrote in my brain, I wanted to murder whoever did that to her.

            "It says 'I was beaten and buried alive.'"

MARYJANE:

          Holy crap. Beaten and buried alive? How the hell is she her then? Did someone find her? Did she dig herself out? It's these types of questions that totally need answering but the only person that can answer them decided to be mute. And now my curiosity is pissing me off. I think I agree with Steven about making her talk during group or something. It's like Char said, group is therapy. But, it's over now that everyone shared their story besides Lautner again. I hope he shares soon because he can't keep it bottled up inside. That's kind of very bad.

            I have no idea what we're going to be doing for the rest of the day. Frank and I have been itching for a chance to be alone for the past couple of days. Yeah, we haven't had sex in a couple of days because we haven't really been alone that long enough for us to do so. Hormones make every teenager crazy and boy am I crazy right now. I sighed and got up from the couch to head upstairs.

            "MJ!" Paija called out to me from the kitchen. I turned and she poked her head out of the door. "Can you show Darla to the room and get my camera? Gabe and I are going out like in a few minutes and Ryan is making Rain and I make him breakfast. Again." I laughed. Ryan is so like that. Yesterday, he made me make him lunch just by giving me the boot lip. That boy can make anyone do anything or him. I wonder why he didn't use his gift on his parents when they tried to drown him in the river nearby.

            Ryan was here longer than the rest of us. I believe he's been here two years now. He can't go back to his parents because, well, they're in jail and he has no other living relative out there and no one wants to adopt a teenager. And plus, Mark loves that kid, so he could probably stay as long as he wants. He's the lucky one. My mom is trying to get me back. Like, she's fighting as hard as she can. But it all comes down to my testimony in court and I'm going to expose the truth about her. About how abusive she is. I'm not every going back to that.

            "Okay, Paija. I'll be right back. Come on, Darla. I'm going to show you you're new room." The little red head got up from the couch and zipped up that backpack of hers. I saw Lautner looking at her the whole time. That boy has a crush. I should make him give her the grand tour so Frank and I can finally have some alone time. Hmmm, well, we could always go hiking.

            Darla followed me upstairs quietly and down the big hall. It's so awkward trying to show a mute person their new room. I can't really tell her to ask questions if she doesn't talk at all. We may have to buy a dry erase board or something. I found mine and Paija's multi-colored color door and opened it. We were the lucky one's out of the original thirteen and got the biggest room. There has always been a third bed but we never even used it. It's Darla's bed now and we're going to have to get used to seeing a new face in our room so we don't freak out.

            I remember when I first came here. It was the same day that Paija and Emily came and Char told me that Paija was my roommate. We were both so quiet the first day and didn't talk to each other until that night. It was hilarious. We both woke up at the same time and started to flip out because we weren't really used to sharing a room. And we both thought that we were someone else. Paija told me that she thought that I was her step-dad (I was kind of offended at that because I do NOT look like a guy. I'm all woman) and I told her that I thought she was my mom. We spent the rest of the night just talking away.

            I kind of got lost in my thoughts and almost forgot about Paija's camera. I speed walked over to the nightstand beside her bed and quickly grabbed the big thing. I looked back at Darla who was looking through her things. I feel bad for her. I would've hated to have been beaten and buried alive. Shit, I would've even come back from the dead to haunt my mom's ass if she ever did that to me.

Here's the next chapter!! :D

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I never really know what to wear on a date. Usually I ask the guy what I should wear, but asking them could go either way. Either they'll tell me what we're doing so I'll know what to wear, or they'll say "I dunno". I just decided to wear my black skirt that fell to my knees and a black tank top that had a flower design at the ends of it. I wore my black boots that went as high as my ankles and fishnet stockings. My hair was down and wavy and I wore light make up. I think I look pretty damn good, I think.

I walked out to the living room. Gaspard wasn't here yet. I have a tendency to finish dressing and getting ready before my date is here, unlike some of my friends. Kaiden and Dessie were in their play pen. Kaiden was playing with his little binki and Desdemona was staring up at Ville, who was still here. Apparently he and Rachel are hanging out tonight, and watching the twins. Des will be happy, she adores Ville.

"You look beautiful, as always." Ville said as soon as I sat down next to Rachel. She rolled her eyes and I had to giggle at that.

"I try, at least." I smiled.Ville was about to reply back when Rachel put her hand over his mouth.

"Don't even try, Ville. She will win the arguement." Ville rolled his eyes this time. "Ew! You licked me, you nasty!" Rachel immediately took her hand away and wiped her hand on her pants. "I got Ville germs."

"Hey, I kissed the guy." Ville gasped.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?!" He pretended to be wounded as Rachel and I laughed our heads off. Little Dessie and Kaiden giggled in with us.

"I got yo germs in ma mouth." I replied back to Ville with a wide grin on my face. Rachel continued laughing until a knock came at the door. Gaspard is just a little early, but not by much.

"All right my little babies," I said, kneeling down in front of the play pen. "Mommy will see you guys in a couple of hours. I love you." I stood up just to bend down and kiss the tops of their little heads. "Bye guys, see ya later." I called out as I opened the front foor.

"Good evening, beautiful." Gaspard greeted as soon as he saw me. He had a wicked grin on his face as he took my hand in his and kissed my cheek.

"Good evening. So, where are we going tonight?" He smiled down at me and thought for a moment.

"Well, I was thinking that we'd go to the movies, get dinner and then maybe a walk through the city."

"Ah, a very classic date. I love it." Gaspard helped me into his Hummer (an original, not eco-friendly but it looks nice) and we took off. I felt so high offthe ground in the big car. Unfortunately for me, I hate heights. I mean, I'm not afraid of heights, I just don't like them. I held Gaspards hand the whole time. He looked a little smug.

We arrived at the restaurant right on time. And it was really nice. It wasn't like the one Kyle took me to, you know, with the menu in another language. This one was more...American, I guess. It was quaint was really adorable. Gaspard and I talked about everything. We talked about the kids, me quitting, the things that we like, like music and movies. Gaspard was happy when I told him that "Hannibal Rising" was one of my favorite movies, like, ever. He kept on telling me that I looked beautiful, which I always seem to have a problem believing. I have low self-esteem, I can't help it.

We decided to go to the movies after dinner, it makes it so much easier that way. We decided to see knowing with Nicholas Cage in it. I really don't like end-of-the-world movies, but it looked interesting. Gaspard was completely engrossed in it. Though, he did have his arm around me. He didn't do it in the sneaky way thatguys would do it, he was more bold about it. Like, it was natural to him.

We ended up justing hanging out, in the end, at Roychester park instead of walking the streets of Philly. Gaspard said that there was too many muggers and rapist and gang members on the streets and that he didn't want me to get hurt. I couldn't argue with that.

"Can I ask you a question?" We were on the really low swings that hung as low as the ground. His eyes were fixed on me with a smile in them. There was a light smile on his lips. He looked so handsome and so innocent.

"Of course."

"How come you guys don't like each other? And by you guys, I mean, you, Ville and Kyle?" Gaspard looked away for a moment, looking like he was deep in thought. He stopped moving back and forth on the swings and sighed.

"We all like you and we're doing everything we can to be with you. Why should we like each other? In all honesty, I have never heard of guy being friendly with another guy who likes the girl he likes unless he means to do the other guy harm."

"And, I have another question, why do you like me? There is nothing special about me. I'm just a normal, crazy young mom. I'm like every other single mother out there in the world." Gaspards face suddenly went very serious. His eyes were hard and his mouth looked like just a line drawn on his face.

"You are special.You are more special than those other single mothers out there in the world."

"Yeah, because I have two actors and a singer after my love like we were all on a game show." Gaspard chuckled and got up from the swing and stood right in front of the swing I was on. He out-stretched his hand to me and I took it graciously and he pulled me up into his arms.

"I think that you are a very lucky woman to have three good looking guys wanting you." He pressed his lips to mine. His kiss started off hard against my mouth, like he was surprised by his own action or like he didn't know what he was doing. But he got into it, just like I did. My heart pounded inside my ears and inside my chest. I was excited and strangely afraid or nervous at the same time.

He pulled me tighter against him, deepening the kiss. I could feel the pressure of the kiss through my mouth and on my teeth. I couldn't breathe. I tried to pull away from him but his grip was iron tight. There was no escape.

I pulled my head away for a second and tried to say his name to stop him but his lips found my again. I felt panicky and frightened but my heart still fluttered inside my chest like a thousand butterflies trying to escape. I don't know if it's fear, or something else.

I tried to push him away a little and tried not to be rude about it. He was acting like we've been dating for months instead of this being our first date. He pressed me tighter against him. My back was started to hurt and my lungs felt like they were on fire. He doesn't know his own strength. I have to get him to stop somehow...

"Ouch! Fuck!" He yelled, pulling away as I kicked him in the shin. I just turned and walked straight down the hill of Roychester since my house is only a block away.. My heart was still beating a mile a minute and I felt awkward and kind of guilty in a way and scared a bit. I heard footsteps following me and tried to quicken my pace but a pair of strong hands grabbed my arms and threw me against the wall of the Community House in the park. Gaspard looked wild and angry. I think he's short-tempered. I inhaled sharply and I felt my eyes go wide. His grip on me was starting to hurt.

"Why did you kick me?" He asked calmly even though he didn't look calm. In the back of my mind, all I could see was a giant black box...

"You were hurting me." I winced that the tightening pain in my arms.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't." I tried to break free from his grasp but failed. I saw a cemetery in the back of my mind this time. "Let go of me. You're hurting me!"

"Come on, I'll drive you home." He said without loosening his grip on me.

"Let go, Gaspard."

"I'll drive you home."

"I can walk." I hissed at him.

"I will drive you home." He hissed at me, still with that wild look in his eyes. I tried to pull away as he started to drag me back up the hill and to his Hummer. It didn't work at all. It felt like my bones were crunching inside of my arms. I could feel my skin start to bruise. I screamed when I fell to the ground, skinning my knees, and he pulled me upright and continued to walk.

"Let go of her!" I heard someone scream from behind, followed by quick, soundless footsteps. Gaspard whirled around, throwing me onto the ground and I heard a loud thumo from next to me. All I could see was two figures fighting.

They rolled under the streetlight, pounding the hell out of each other. I could clearly see Gaspard with a bloody nose and bloody knuckles. And then I saw someone else. "OH MY GOD!" I shrieked as one of them pulled out a knife.

to be continued...

Okay here are the characters for "Heart" (and I did make up last names for those who said that they'd be in it XD) :

• Ryan Ross
• Rain Collier (forgiveness)
• Gabe Saporta
• Paija Parker (30secondstopaija)
• Taylor Kitsch
• Marisa Webster (ghostofmusic)
• Jimmy Sullivan
• Emily Reed (a7x55)
• Frank Iero
• Maryjane Greene (maryjanea7x)
• Taylor Lautner
• Darla Weylyn (me: mikeymraz44) (lol, I don't like my name that much so I picked Darla lol)
• Steven Strait
• {stoleneyelids} Morgan (stoleneyelids) (I don't know her first name yet but I'll put it in when I do)

The other characters are:

• Edward Weylyn (Darla's little brother)
• Sidney Weylyn (Darla's father)
• Amy Acker
• Charisma Carpenter
• Holly Marie Combs
• Hugh Jackman
• Brian Krause
• Drew Fuller
• Mark Harmon
• Hayley Williams
• Ryan Dunson
• Kyle Schmid

There will probably be more characters but they will probably be in it in like for only two chapters or something, like, a short part.

And I made a banner for my story because I got bored lol:

Yes, I will be finishing "Love Reaper", just to clear things up. But soon after it's done, I hopefully will be starting a new fanfic called "Heart".

I need like six people, preferably girls, to be in it :) If you want to be in it, all I need is your first name ('cause I'm choosing last names unless you want to pick your own last name), a description of you and  your hobbies and stuff. AND there are six guys you can choose from to "date" in the fic. The guys are:

Ryan Ross-forgiveness called Ryro :)

Gabe Saporta- 30secondstopaija called Gabe :)

Taylor Kitsch- ghostofmusic called Taylor :)

Steven Strait- stoleneyelids gets Steven :)

Jimmy Sullivan-a7x55 called Jimmy :)

Frank Iero-maryjanea7x called Frankie :)

Yeah, Taylor Lautner is going to be in it too but I called him for my character *sticks tongue out*

Here's a little info and what you need to know and I'll write the summary afterwards:

Basically, everyone in this will be a teenager. They are all victims of abuse and neglect and are staying at a salvation house called "Heart" in the Poconos in PA. The founders of "Heart" is Mark Harmon  and he has famous actors and actresses as volunteers and teachers/workers at "Heart" like Amy Acker, Charisma Carpenter, Holly Marie Combs, Hugh Jackman, Brian Krause, and Drew Fuller (as the teachers/workers) and the volunteers are Hayley Williams, Ryan Dunson and Kyle Schmid.

Summary of "Heart":

A new girl named Darla arrives at the Heart Salvation House for Neglected and Abused Children. She doesn't talk or communicate with anyone at all. There are thirteen teenagers staying at Heart already, and they all see her as an outcast and think that nothing is wrong with her, therefore, she does not belong. But things get a little strange when Taylor (Lautner) starts to spend most of his time with the mute new girl. No one sees that as a good thing.
But in her toughest times of torment and nightmares at Heart, she finds that Taylor is always there for her. Is it friendship? Is it love? No one knows but those two.
But things get iffy when Darla's father comes to take her away from Heart and back to her old life of pain and misery. Knowing that she couldn't say no, or anything to him or about him, he takes her home. Everyone sees that as a good thing besides Taylor. He knows of what Darla's father has done to her and her little brother Edward (whom Darla cannot find) and he knows that her father will kill her. In order to save her from her fathers wrath, Taylor needed to get his estranged friends to help him escape and find her before anything happens. In order to get them to help, he needed to spill all of Darla's dark secrets and pray that someone would help him.
It's a life and death situation and a race against time. Will they, in the end, save Darla? or will they provoke something more dangerous than a psychopathetic father?

If you're interested in being in my story, please leave a comment on this journal or send me a message.

Agh, I haven't updated in DAYS! Anyhoozies, here's the next chapter :) Oh, and I made Kyles eyes like BLUE lol. XD

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"Have you figured out what you're going to do yet?" Rachel asked as she helped me feed Kaiden and Desdemona. I haven't really seen any of the three guys for about two days and I know that's probably what Rachel is talking about, even though I did go into work this morning and quit my job.

"About what exactly?"

"About everything. You quit, yu have three guys wanting you and you have two very cute kids who need you and a very special best friend who needs you to. I mean, why did you quit? I thought you loved your job?" I sighed and wiped off the little mush of food coming out of Kaiden's mouth.

"I did love my job. I just wasn't happy spending most of my time behind a desk. I want to not just help people think of designs and once and a while do a shoot. I want to do the shoot and interact and go places and have a life and be with you and my kids and them." Them meaning, well, the guys I guess. Though, I do find it strange how I haven't known them very long and I feel pulled toward all three of them in a way. I mean, with Ville, it's like life has meaning to me again and whenever I'm around him, it's like he fills the empty void in my heart with everything that I had ever wanted out of a relationship, if yu would even call it that. With Kyle, it's easy to smile around him. He makes me day and I always feel so nervous but so happy around him. I don't know about my feelings for Gaspard yet. I haven't been with him alone in awhile. But I do know that I feel off around him, or there's something off about him. But whatever it is...I think I kind of...like it.

"Well, okay then. But what about the guys? Do you know which studly stud you wanna be in a relationship with? Wait, are you still making them be in like the same room together just to chill with you and the twins?"

"Ugh, no. It's so awkward having them in the same room, like, it's like being molested by seven beasts, you know?" Rachel cracked up, accidently getting smushed peas on Dessie's face.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know that feeling. But please, do continue." I rolled my eyes and put down Kaidens food to wipe off the icky baby food off of Desdemona's cheek.

"It is very awkward since I kissed both Kyle and Ville. You have no idea how dirty I feel. I feel so horrible and bad." Which is true. I feel like I'm not even me anymore in some sense. I feel like I lost part of my life, I feel dirty, but I feel just tired of everything most of the time. But I can't get anything out of my mind. "It's like...destroying me on the inside. Like, I barely know these guys but I already feel guilty for all of the wrong things that happened to them or that are going to happen to them. They don't deserve this, Rach. I'm like the cookie that everyone wants but I'm bad for their health."

"Don't beat yourself up over this, BunnyCupcake. It's NOT your fault at all. You like them, you can't choose. At least you're not keeping it from them. Brands, you have given them every chance to leave you, but they didn't. It's their fault if they get hurt, not yours."

"What do I do, Rachel? What if...what if everything goes bad with all three of them? What do I do then? I'll be destroyed and they don't deserve a mother who can't take care of them. They deserve so much more." So much more than I can offer. They deserve the world. No, better yet, they deserve the universe. They deserve the stars, the moons, the planets, the meteors, and everything else out there. They deserve it.

"I can't help you out with that one, because I can't tell you what to do. Do what you think is right. And I can tell you this, Brands. One of those guys already has your heart. You just haven't figured it out yet."

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I figured that Rachel was right. I gave them all a choice and it's been ten minutes since anyone said a thing. I told them everything. How I felt, what happened with each of them, how I felt about each of them and I gave them a choice. They could either leave and not have anything to do with me again or they can stay and we could all figure things out over time. Goodness, I feel so horrible about this, still. I hate this feeling, this awful feeling. It's like I'm on some horrible reality show or like I'm the star in some random girls fanfiction. It sucks.

Kyle is sitting on my left on the couch and Ville on my right. Gaspard was here as well, sitting on the chair near Kyle. For the longest time, Gaspard has been glaring at Ville and Ville has been staring at Kyle. I hope I didn't cause any animosity between any of them. It would make me feel so much worse and whatever has a negative effect on me, has a negative effect on them and the kids and Rachel. The silence is killing me.

"I'll stay." Ville finally said, breaking his stare from Kyle to me. He smiled just enough to make me smile as well. My cheeks were still wet from crying in the middle of explaining it all.

"Me too." Gaspard said lowly.

"So will I." Kyle looked up and smiled at me. "But I actually have to go meet my producer for lunch soon. So I can't be here right at this very moment, but I'll be here for you and the twins." He smiled and put his hand on mine. He leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear. "I never give up." His breath sent a shiver down my spine when it touch the bare skin of my neck. He kissed my cheek and left.

"I have to go to. Alicia has requested a meeting with me today at two. I wonder if you'll go out with me tonight?" Gaspard asked with a stunning smile on his face. I nodded my head, thinking that I really haven't had much time alone with him yet. He kissed the top of my head and left as well.

"You don't like this at all, do you, Ville?" I asked him, looking up to see his green eyes rest upon my face. He thought for a moment.

"I would've rather that they decided to leave so you and I could be together. But, they didn't, and all I have to do now is prove myself." He said, leaning back into the couch.

"You know how I feel about you." I said quietly. As Ville was about to reply, a little cry came from the twins' bedroom. I could tell that it was Desdemona. "I'll be right back." I got up from the couch and walked silently to the kids' room were Dessie was stirring in her crib. Kaiden was fast asleep. He is truly a heavy sleeper.

"What is it honey? Are you hugry? Do you need to be changed? No? Oh, I see. You know Ville is out there and you just want all the attention, huh?" I picked her up  and kissed her little cheek. She sniffled and I started rocking her back and forth. "You're so lucky that my date is in a few hours. Ville will probably be here until Rachel comes over to see you guys."

I started to walk back to the living room. I heard Ville talking but there was no reply. He's on his cell, stupid, I thought to myself. Dessie was quiet now, just hearing his voice. And I waited just outside the living room until he was done. But I caught a few fragments of his conversation to whoever he was talking to.

"You have to see his eyes." He said to whoever. "They were the purest blue that I have ever seen. Gerard, they were Reaper eyes. I can tell. Reapers either have a pure color to their eyes or a misty color. Sometimes even a mix of two colors...No, no normal would have those eyes...Yes, I do think that maybe James or Edgar or even Marilyn sent him here to fuck with us....I don't know Gerard, but whatever his reason is, well, she's falling for him...It's bad, I know...I just wish things would go back to normal, before our lives were interupted again." He paused. "I love her. I don't think I want to give up....I'll see you later."

My jaw was dropped. He loves me? What is he talking about? Reapers? Like "Angels of Death"? Blue eyes...he couldn't have been talking about Kyle...

Could he?

to be continued...

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Sorry, this chapter is a little rushed. Me and my mom are going out like now. So yeah.

Add my super duper awesome friend, Amanda, who decided to make herself a Buzznet!

www.addictionnx812.buzznet.com

:)

I had promised a couple days ago that I would post the pictures and everything from the day of silence. And since my mom through out the notes I took on the day of silence (it was like a journal page that I did to keep track of everything) I'm going to have to type everything from memory.

Before School:

Before school even started, my friends and I were silent. What we did was pass around note bookes or make hand gestures or lip something to communicate with each other. It was actually quite fun to try to be patient with each other while someone was writing something done or not reply to a person who wasn't doing the Day of Silence. I had brought along with me my camera to take pictures of my friends who were participating on Friday. Though I couldn't get pictures every period, I happened to get pictures of before school, at study hall, lunch and the fire drill that we had 8th period.

This is a picture of the card that I was wearing for the day of silence to explain to people why I was doing the day of silence. The card, as whole, says "Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discrimination. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward fighting these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today. what are you going to do to end the silence?"

These are my friends Eryn and Casey (with Nikki and Amanda in the background) who did participate in the Day of Silence.

Deanna took of picture of me holding my card (which I had written my Buzznet username on).

And that's Tory. Deanna put her card over Tory's mouth when I had taken the picture, which, I might add, turned out really well.

First and Second period was a breeze. Though many people tried to get me to talk, I had kept my mouth shut. And even though I wanted to answer questions that my teachers had asked, I had kept my mouth shut.

3rd Period was really quite easy too. Though Kate was not there and I was the only student in my third period class participating in the silence, I still kept silence until I had accidently told my teacher that I was finished my assignment. I quickly apologized (mostly to myself) for speaking and shut up again.

Fourth period was not so easy to keep silent. Why? Because of this kid:

That's Evan. He kept trying to make me and Eryn talk because he wanted someone to talk to (Caleb had to go do a lab but I was happy when he got back after writing strange notes to Evan and trying to explain things to him without talking). Evan is a hilarious dude, and because I was bored and he kept on talking, I started to write down the things he was saying. He said things like "If you put an egg in a microwave, would a chicken pop out?" or "You suck, love Evan," or "I'm gonna beat you up, muthafucka." I almost slipped up but I did good. I did really well in Chemistry, mostly because we were just taking notes on Predicting Chemical Reactions, which I already knew about thanks to my Chemistry tutorial teacher. I was happy when the bell rang for lunch.

Lunch, oh lunch was fun, I must say. For one thing, Deanna kept slipping up on the not talking thing but not a lot of teens can keep quiet for one day. Amanda came over and started to hand talk to me:

Amanda is a cutie-pie and I just had to take a picture of her. But after Amanda left and Deanna and I got lunch, the trouble started. Ian, Sean and Brady came to sit at our table. They wanted me and Deanna to talk too. Which I did not do. And when I tried to get Caitlyn to take a picture of me and Deanna, Ian kept messing us up. We finally did get a good picture but I actually look like crap. I blame Ian. He kept distracting me:

Finally seventh period arrived and I was happy that we only had one more period after that until I could talk again. I had felt the urge to scream and curse and talk to someone with my voice. Keeping silent wasn't easy. Especially since in Spanish we had to recite our skit but thank goodness my teacher said that the silent kids were to only watch because we were taking a vow of silence until 2:35. I was extremely happy that i didn't have to go because I needed to memorize my lines.

8th period wasn't that great of a period either, actually, it kind of was but it kind of wasn't, if you understand what I'm saying. Tyler, Gionni, and Ray-Jay kept trying ot get me to talk. They kept trying to bribe me but I refused everytime. And then, then there was the fire drill. I had so much fun with my camera at the fire drill.

This is Deirdre. She's my friend and she was in the Day of Silence as well. She was one of the smart ones to bring along her notebook to write to people. I was not:

This is Eryn's Day of Silence card. She colorized it and random people signed it for her. I must say that her card amused me (and ignore what Evan wrote. he was being a douche):

And this is me and Eryn outside at the fire drill. I was very tempted to draw stitches on my lips but I did not because my mom said that the next time I draw on my face, she would have to draw something too:

I did, after an excruciating day of being silent, scream my head off after the day was over. I was talking and yelling and singing and I was extremely hyper. I was happy that it was over but I was also very happy that I was able to do it with minimal slip ups. I was happy to see how many people participated too. It was an extremely good day. And everyone was thankful that we didn't see any protesters this year.

I can't wait for next year.

I am now able to get back onto Buzznet! I am so happy now! So, how is everyone?

Today, I'm participating in my school's Day of Silence which is to speak out for Gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender rights. I'm going to be taking pictures all day of the people who are participating in this event and if I can get onto Buzznet at home (which I seem to be having trouble with) then I will post a new journal about it.

Have a nice day :)

I can't tell you how many times I have seen relationships get ruined from one, overly important saying getting used too early. "I love you." Saying the big three words too early in a relationship can cost you.

If you start out saying "I love you" too early in the relationship can ruin it on the spot. I, personally, have witnessed many relationships FAIL because of that alone. For example, a dear friend of mine had always thrown herself into that kind of situation where she confessed love before she even felt it. A lot of her ex boyfriends had gotten...scared (for lack of a better term) when they answered their cell phone and all they could hear was "I love you, baby." I know not all people start off by saying "I love you", but not a lot of people know what love is or feels like. Which brings me to my next point.

MAKE SURE YOU ACTUALLY LOVE THE PERSON BEFORE YOU CONFESS YOUR LOVE!

Think about it. I put it in caps, in bold, and I underlined it. Yes, it is hard to figure what love is or how it feels, but trust me, you will figure it out overtime! Think about your feelings toward your partner and when the times right, tell them. It might not always work out the way you want it to, but it doesn't hurt to tell them when the time is right. If you're just starting out a relationship, that screams that the time is NOT the right time to tell them because a.) You just started out in the relationship and b.) You can't know how you feel about them until you actually take your time to get to know that person.

But, there are circumstances were the one that you just started dated tells you that they love you. That might feel very awkward because you probably don't know if you feel the same way. So, lay down the law with them. Tell them not to say "I love you" just for the feeling of saying it. Tell them to say it if they actually do feel it and if they mean it. Take your time in the relationship, even if the relationship itself doesn't last for very long; at least you can walk away without any remorse or strange feelings towards the other person.

In conclusion, relationships are hard, no lie. But if you really do like that person that you're dating, make sure that you don't ruin everything you could possibly have with them by saying "I love you" too early. You've got to feel it before you say it. And if they say it before you, or they, feel it, talk about it and tell them not to say "I love you" unless they actually do love you. It makes everything better in the end, even if the relationship doesn't last that long.

 (p.s. I don't actually have a boyfriend named John, I just couldn't think of anything. Nor would I actually make a "Happy Three Day Anniversary" card to a boyfriend.)

I just adore that picture of Kyle *swoons* Anyhoo, here's the next chapter! Oh, and i wanna give credit to MSN.com for their dream dictionary because it helped me out a bit in this chapter. So, yeah, they're awesome.

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In my dream, all I could see at a pair of beautiful eyes looking down at me. I saw them and nothing else. Every other part of my dream, besides those beautiful eyes, was black. It was like I was blind to everything else but those eyes. But then, a pair of lovely grayish blue eyes joined the green ones in looking down at me. Two sets of eyes and pitch black. I stared back at them for the longest time until things started to get a little clearer. The faces started to come into mind. The blue eyes belonged to Kyle and the green were Ville's. I swear, I have seen those green eyes before somewhere else...

The sound of a baby's crying woke me out of my dream. As always, I raced down the hall into my babies room and saw Desdemona crying her eyes out while Kaiden was sound asleep. He is a heavy sleeper. I took my little girl up into my arms and started to rock her gently, singing a lullaby to her. She eventually calmed down but not enough to go back to sleep. I sighed. It was one in the morning. What the hell, since Karina said I could take a week off due to me being attacked, why not stay up a little bit with my kid?

Maybe I could do some research on my dream because I'm sure having dreams about guys you like watching you is not a very good sign, unless it is. I turned on my computer in the living room and put little Dessie in her little swing next to me.  Her big green eyes were staring up at me in wonder like they did with Ville yesterday.

I clicked on the internet explorer icon on my screen (my background was Isabelle from The Mortal Instruments Series) and it popped up almost instantly. My home page was msn.com and staring me right in the face was the msn dream dictionary. I think this website is psychic. I clicked on it and a whole list of dreams and their meanings popped up. I scrolled down, trying to find something about eyes...

"OKay, Des, I found it." I said to my baby. She giggled. "It says '1. Being watched by strange, disembodied eyes indicates unexpected good fortune to come. If the eyes are particularly beautiful, this is a sign of success in romance and/or reassurance that you are surrounded by people who care for you. If there is only one eye watching you, this is the all-seeing eye of God, and it hints at success beyond your wildest dreams.'" I stopped even though there was more following that. A sigh of success in romance? But there were two people looking down at me. I looked down at Desdemona and saw her beautiful face looking up at me with a smile. Sometimes I think that my children know more than I do when it comes to my dreams and my relationships.

Her little arms reached up for me and I took her in my arms automatically. "Are you ready to go back to sleep, little baby?" Des squealed and hit my nose with her little fingers. "Not yet, huh? Me neither. How about we watch some NCIS?" Des laughed her little baby laugh as I brought her to her little play pen that I had moved next to the couch earlier in the day yesterday. I placed her inside and I heard little Kaiden wake up. It seems like he wants to join the party too. I quickly got little Kaiden from his crib and started to rock him in my arms as I walked back to the living room. He, just like his sister, did not want to fall back asleep. I put him in the play pen, next to his sister, and put in the DVD of NCIS that I borrowed from Rachel not that long ago.

"Do you guys want to see Gibbs hit Tony? Yeah?" I laughed and selected a random episode. Not long after I put in the disk, I nodded off to sleep, dreaming of those eyes again.

I awoke to the sound of Kaiden and Dessie laughing their little baby laughs. I woke up and sat myself up automatically, without letting my eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. I batted my eyes a couple of times to make them adjust. I looked at their play pen but did see them in there. Looking up, I saw Frank and some man standing in my living room with my children in their arms.

"What are you doing? Give me my kids!" Frank and the other man set them down in their play pen. I moved around and put myself in front of my children so they couldn't get to them. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. I needed to explain about the other night. Oh, and this is Bill." He said, nodding his head in the direction of his friend.

"Explain what, Frankie?" I felt my voice soften, but I did not know why. Did I not want to stand firm in front of him? Did I not want to make him feel bad for what had happened?

"Look, I freaked out when Rachel and the cops were coming. I had to do something, so I hit you. I'm sorry. I always have hated hitting you, Brandy. I'm really, really sorry. Can you forgive me?" I looked at him with a dumb-founded expression on my face. He wants forgiveness? His big doe eyes pleaded with me and I couldn't help but to smile. He looked so innocent.

"Alright. I forgive you." I said, finally. Frankie threw his arms around me in a tight embrace. It seemed to natural to hug him back. I looked past his shoulder and at the clock it was three in the afternoon. Had I really been asleep for that long? "Shit!" I said, pulling away. "I need to call Rachel!"

"Why?" Frank asked. Bill looked around my living room and started rocking back and forth on his feet. He looked adorable too.

"Because I have a date with Kyle in five hours and I need Rach to babysit these two little monsters." I reached for my purse that was on the coffee table and pulled out my black razor and dialed Rachels number. I had to leave a voice message.

"Hey Rach, it's BunnyCupcake. Please call back because I have a date tonight and I really need you to babysit! Thank you! Love you! Bye!" I snapped my cell phone shut but still had it in my hands incase Rachel called. Frank and Bill were standing silent with their arms behind their back, waiting for something.

"BunnyCupcake?" Frank finally said.

"It's a long story." I sighed.  I put my cell phone on the coffee table while I picked both of my kids up. I took them back to their bedroom, placing Kaiden in his crib first and then Des. I walked back to the living room just when my cell phone started to ring.

"She's my cherry pie!" It sang to me before I answered it. Rachel must have changed my ring tone again. "Hey Rachel." I greeted.

"Hey, I'm on my way but I want someone to help me watch them because I get so alone when you're not here." She fake sniffled. Perfect,I thought to myself as I looked over and Frank.

"That's alright with me because my good ol' buddy Frank is here with his friend, Bill, and maybe they can help you out?" I smiled. Both Franks and Bills eyes were on me.

"If they're there, why do you need me?" She asked.

"Because I think Frank is more likely to flush Kaiden down the toilet and I need you to watch him too." Frank stuck his tongue out at me and I laughed.

"Fine, I'll be there in ten. Bye." She hung up first and I set my phone down on the table again. I almost forgot that I was still in my nightgown. I had decided to go change.

"I'm gonna go change if you don't mind." I said. Frank shrugged his shoulders and so did Bill. Walking out of the living room, a question came into my mind that made my stop and turn around. "Frank? Why did you attack me and rachel the other night?"

"Because I didn't know it was you." He said curtly. I turned back around with a strange expression on my face. The song "People Are Strange" By The Doors popped into my head.

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Kyle came by right on time. I have to admit that I am excited for our date. I had no idea where he was taking me, but like always, I dressed up nicely and actually looked presentable. I wore a noodle strap black dress that fell down to my knees and it had a white ribbon tie around the dress under my breasts. I had my bow tie heels on and a sweater on over top of my dress since I get cold easily. My hair was down and wavy, as usual, and my make up matched my outfit. I was ready.

"Ready to go?" He asked. I nodded, kissed my kids heads, and left with him. His car was really nice and it was comfortable inside.

"So, where are you taking me?" I asked as innocently as possible. He grinned and started his car. I frowned when I saw he didn't put his seat belt on. I took it upon myself to reach across and put it on for him and then put mine on. He laughed.

"Well, I thought that I would take you to a nice restaraunt for dinner and dessert and then, afterwards, maybe you'd like to go for a walk in the park with me." I smiled and nodded my head with excitement showing on my face. I absolutely love parks. how did he know that I love to go for walks in parks? I swear, just like msn, he's psychic too. He took me to this fancy restuarant that I couldn't pronounce the name of (becuase I think it's french or something).

He laughed when I had trouble understanding the menu. It was french and I couldn't help but to laugh at myself when I realized that I held the menu upside down. It didn't help much, having it rightside up again, because the whole menu was in french. I think I ordered a steak or something along the lines of that and Kyle did as well. We had gotten into a deep conversation about the hardships we faced in life and how we overcame them. he is positively one of the sweetest and most funniest men that I have ever known. I found myself staring into his most of them time and trying to think back to my dream and what I found out about eyes in dreams.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked after we ate dessert. I nodded my head. Kyle paid the bill and left the tip and we were off to the park.

It was a lovely park. Full of trees and flowers and bushes and there was no icky graffiti anywhere in sight. I stayed close to Kyle, with my arms wrapped around his one arm and I let my head rest against his shoulder (though I was a bit shorter than him. It mostly looked like my head was resting on the top of hsi arm). We walked in silence for a while. It was an eerie silence or an awkward one, it was actually a golden silence that was embraced by my thoughts. But my thoughts weren't confusing or frustrating. They were about him and Ville and my kids and Rachel.

"I must ask you," he said, breaking the silence. "This is going to come out a little strange and I don't mean to be intrusive, but," he paused. "Is Ville Kaiden and Dessie's father?" I raised my eyebrows in confusion. I wasn't even sure if he was or not myself.

"No." I finally said, thinking it over for half a second in my head.

"Oh, I was just wondering." he looked down at the ground and then back at me. "You know, I meant what I said earlier about you being a tough girl to like because of all of the guys who want you." He said. "But, I like you a lot so don't expect me to go away anytime soon."

"Don't worry. I'm not expecting you to nor do I want you to go away." He smiled and moved his arm that I was leaning against around my waist and he pulled me against his side. He felt so warm. I looked up at him as he was staring down at me. His blue eyes bore into my skull with a delightfullness to them that made it difficult to look away. We stopped walking and our faces  inched closer to one another until finally our lips met.

The kiss was the kind of kiss that could take anyone's breath away. He wrapped both of his arms around my waist and pulled me up a little bit closer to him to deepen the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. My heart was beating so fast that I was sure that China could hear it from all the way across the world. I could feel Kyle's heartbeat as well as my own. They were in sync with each other, beating so fast that it felt like our hearts were going to burst at any moment. I was euphoric and I thought back to how I felt when I kissed Ville the other night. I feel the same for Kyle too.

I knew that this would start some sort of drama that would end up in heartbreak but at this moment, I didn't care.  I was too happy kissing him to even really think about anything else a this moment. He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine and smiled. I smiled back and touched his face with my right hand. He out his hand over mine and our lips collided once again.

to be continued...

Here's the next chapter!

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It's Easter, my childrens first Easter and it is very exciting, even though they don't knwo what's going on yet. Surprisingly Rachel had left little Skelanimal bunnies here for the children knowing that they're too little for certain candies.I dressed the children in Easter wear. Desdemona was wearing a light pink dress with a little bunny on the front and Kaiden was wear a blue bunny shirt with matching pants. I took many pictures before I turned on the Disney movies (Mostly the ones I grew up watching with my mother).

I held both Kaiden and Desdemona in my arms as we watched Peter Pan save Tiger Lily from Captain Hook. Kaiden was looking up at me with big eyes while his twin was staring at the TV. Kaiden reached up and touched my cheek and laughed a little squeaky laugh. Desdemona and I joined in and it was the cutest thing in the world. His green eyes glistened with innocent happiness. His green eyes which looked so familiar.

I tried to remember the one night I had with their father. I tried to remember his face up saw nothing. In fact, I don't remember anything from that night. I don't even remember if it was good or not. I knew if Rachel was here she'd say something along the lines of "Does that mean he sucked?" But in all honesty, I don't think I could even tell her that he did and that's why I don't remember. I can remember people I've never met but not remember the father of my children?

I heard my front door open and close and a low murmur of voices. Rachel, I thought to myself and sighed, Maybe I should have never given her that key...

"Hey Brandy." She said, walking into the living room with Ville and the other man from the elevator behind her. I smiled generously and offered them a seat. Ville, of course, sat down next to me on my left and Rachel on my right and the other man sat on the chair next to the couch.

"Oh, that's Gerard." Rachel said, taking some of my skittles that I had laid out on the tables and eating them. I waved at Gerard as best as I could with my kids in both of my arms.

"So, um, what are you guys ing here?" I asked with curiousity written on my face. Rachel shrugged and turned her attention to the movie that Desdemona, Kaiden and I were originally watching. Desdemona started to squirm in my arms. I looked down and saw that she was reaching for Ville as if she wanted him to hold her. I laughed.

"What?" Ville asked with a hint of a smile on his face.

"Desdemona wants you to hold her." I giggled.

"May I?" He asked, streching his arms out as if to take her from me. I nodded and he pulled her into his arms. A big grin stretched on her little face and she giggled. She adored him. "She's lovely," He said with a soothing voice. "She looks just like you. So does he." He nodded to Kaiden who was staring at Ville with wonder.

A knock came at my front door. It was a light knock, polite even, and I could only guess who it was this time. "Rachel, do you think you can answer the door for me?" She rolled her eyes but got up anyways to answer the door. I heard her voice and a mans voice and their footsteps as they made their way here.

"Hey Kyle." Ville greeted as Kyle and Rachel came into the room.

"Hi Ville, Gerard." He looked at me and smiled. "Hello Brandy. Happy Easter."

I smiled. "Happy Easter to you too, Kyle. Please, sit." I nodded towards the chair that was next to Ville's side of the couch.

"Hows their first Easter so far?" Kyle asked politely with a kind smile on his face and in his eyes.

"It's going really great. They're behaving and they seem to get along with everyone in the room so far." An awkward moment of silence passed. Kyle cleared his throat, disturbing the strange silence and all of our eyes were on him now.

"Uh, Brandy, can I talk to you for a moment. Like in the hallway or something?"

"Okay," I got up from my deat on the couch with Kaiden in my arms and Desdemona still in Ville's. "Rach, can you take him for a moment, please." She nodded and I gently transferred the baby from my arms to hers. I followed Kyle out into the hallway and we stopped in front of the bottom of my staircase.

"You know, you're a hard girl to like." He said with a smirk on his face.

"Oh really? How?" I asked, mimicking his smirk.

"Well, you have three totally handsome guys going after you. It wouldn't surprise if now four guys were after you. And it's a lot to compete with." I rolled my eyes. I knew he was kidding about Gerard possibly going after me as well but something in the back of my mind was saying 'Of course he can't love you anymore. You two already sorted through your feelings and you both love somebody else. But what if...' I shook my head, getting rid of the rest of the sentence in my head.

"So, is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" I smiled again.

"Partly," he admitted. "I was just wondering if maybe you would like to go out with me tomorrow night? You know, since you were supposed to go out with me last night but you were in the hospital and everything." I laughed.

"Well, since I had already agreed to it, I can't say no now can I?"

"You're right, you can't."

"Well, then I'll see you tomorrow when you pick me up at eight, right?"

"Of course." He and I both snickered. I walked him to the door as he said that he had to leave because he was on lunch break. I gave him a departing hug and made my way to the living room. Before I walked back in, I heard Rachel, Gerard and Ville talking.

"Do you think you're winning?" Rachel asked as if she were talking about a game between friends.

"I don't know." Ville sighed. "I hope so."

"Yeah, he was about to forfit last night!" Gerard's voice chimed in.

"Are you serious!" Rachel's voice went up an octave. Both Ville and Gerard shushed her. I heard Des squeak. "Ville, you can't forfit! I'll kill you if you do." She threatened.

"I'm not going too. I can't lose her, Rachel. I won't lose her, I won't allow it, now." He said sternly.

"Then why would you even consider it?" She asked.

"Because," he sighed. "I don't want to hurt her. Or them."

"Well, then, let's hope you don't lose this little game because she'll get hurt by he-who-must-not-be-named."

Game? What game? What are they talking about? Not wanting to hear anymore of their secret talk, I walked right in the room and took my seat again. They shut up almost automatically.

"Can I have my kid back, Rachel?" I asked. I looked at Ville and Desdemona after Rachel handed me my son and saw that Desdemona was asleep in his arms now.  She looked so peaceful and so soft and fragile. And Ville looked like a protective parent.

I thought back to the night with Kaiden and Des's father. I couldn't see his face before but I could see it now. He wore Ville's face. I felt like I was going to faint.

to be continued......

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For those who celebrate easter, Happy Easter!

Next Chapter WOO! And towards the part with Ville and Gerard...I'm going to be telling it as if I were there but I'm really not going to be there (by me I mean Brandy)

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"Brandy," Rachel said as she re-entered the room with fresh coffee in her hands. About an hour ago, my mom came to pick up the kids with her new husband. Ville, Gaspard, and Kyle were in the waiting room where I asked them to go. I was shocked, frightened, creeped out, and empty from these two strange memories that I have acquired. I don't know whats happening. Why am I remembering things about people I don't know and people I have known years ago? I bet someone drugged me and this is just a dream or I'm halluncinating. Or maybe I'm in a coma and I think this is happening when it's really not?

Sigh. No, it's real.

"Brandy. There's a dectective here to see you about what happened last night. Do you want to see him?" Though my head still felt like it was going to split open at any moment, I nodded. The doctors had wanted to keep me here for another day to do more tests. I agreed to only a few more hours because I really hate hospitals. I can't even shake the feeling that I have been here a countless number of times before.

A tall man with honey colored hair and dark blue eyes came in the door. He had to be in his late thirties or early fourties because I could only see some gray hairs on his head. he wore a black suit with a red tie and a long, gray trench coat. He gave me the creeps.

Rachel walked out the room but I knew she was sitting in one of the seats just outside the door. The cop moved to the side of my bed with a pad of paper in his hands and a pen. "I'm Dectective Johnson," He said. Wheels turned again in my head as I recognized his voice. Another memory approached my mind.

"Alright," Dectective Johnson said as Ville and I approached the two officers. "He's in here. Now, we don't usually do this, but he's not talking. And we thought that maybe you guys might get him to talk since he tried to run you both over." He paused. "We'll be watching through the mirror in the room if you need anything. Just be careful." Ville and I nodded as we opened the door and entered the room.

"Hello, miss? Did you here me? Are you alright?" I nodded my head as he brought me out of my memory. I was starting to get annoyed. I want them to go away. "Okay, I said do you remember what the guy looked like? Did you know him?"

I thought for a moment. What do I say? Do I say that I was attacked by someone I knew but never met before? Do I say that I do know who he is? Immediately, Franks big doe eyes were caught in my mind. That sadness and that guilt I so easily saw. He looked so innocent and animalistic at the same time.

"No. I didn't know him." I lied. "I didn't really get a good look at him. It was dark and he hit me before I knew it."

"Alright," he said, suspecting my lie. "And the attack took place in Roychester Park?" I nodded. "And you're sure that you didn't get a look at him?" I nodded again. "Did he say anything?" I shook my head. "I guess I don't have anything else to ask, then." He sighed. "If you remember anything, please don't hesitate to call me." He handed me his card and left without saying another word.

"You okay?" Rachel asked, re-entering the room with a worried look on her face.

"Yeah." I lied again.

"Oh, dude, you totally got a cop card." She said taking it from my hand and reading it.

"You're totally obsessed. You need a life." She laughed.

"Dectective William Johnson," she said in fake deep voice. "He totally has a cop name but it would be better if his name was more like John or something like that. William sounds so royal." I felt the wheels turning again but this time I pushed it away. I don't want anything else popping into my head. I don't want to "remember" anything else. I just want to go and be with my kids.

"You look like you're trying to see through the wall. I hate to say this, Brandy, but you don't have x-ray vision." I glared at Rachel but couldn't hold back my laugh. I remembered in 8th grade, my 8th period class with my friend Emily was the best. At one random moment atthe end of class, there would be an awkward silence and I always thought that I had a power because I would wish for silence and then it went silent. I laughed again.

"I think I'm going to read." I said after a few moments. "City of Ashes is next of the series and I need to get caught up on the whole Jace and Clary relationship shizzle."

"Fine then." Rachel said. "I'll go home and then pick you up at eight."

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I must have fallen asleep sometime while I was reading chapter four. My dreams were unfocused and strange. I didn't know what was going on or in what order they were going in but all I remember is seeing a box and being locked in it. I couldn't see the peoples faces or the inside of the box. I just saw it, me and me being put in it. And that was it. I awoke to someone softly nudging me and saying my name to get me to wake up.

"Brandy, darling. Wake up." A deep set voice cooed. The bright lights burned my eyes again and they had to adjust to the light again. As soon as they did, I saw Ville sitting next to me, his green eyes burning my face. Those eyes look so familiar.

"What time is it?" I asked automatically.

"Seven forty-five." He answered. "Rachel called and said that she couldn't pick you because her car broke down."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, it broke down when she tried to leave about five minutes ago. She called only two minutes ago." He smiled. I smiled back nervously. My heart was pounding in my chest. I got up and sat in a sitting position and out of the corner of my eye, I saw clothes sitting on a chair sitting on my left. Ville noticed that i glanced at them.

"I guess you should get dressed." He blushed.

"Those aren't my clothes." I said in a matter-of-fact way.

"Oh, yeah. Well, your clothes were kind of torn and ripped so I got you some new clothes." He explained. I looked at up Ville's angel-like face and saw that he looked just as nervous as I felt.

"Thank you." He smiled again.

"I'll just wait out there." he pointed to the hallway and left, closing the door. It only took my a few moments to change out of my nasty hospital gown and into the clothes that Ville bought me. The black and white Jessica Lousie skirt and matching top fit me perfectly. I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my things and headed out to the hallway.

Ville smiled when he saw me and led the way down the busy hospital hallway to the elevator. "Where's Kyle and Gaspard?" I asked curiously.

He shrugged. "Kyle went home because he has to shoot for the show tomorrow and I don't know where Gaspard is." He pressed a button and the door to the elevator closed. There were only four people in the elevator. Ville and I and a little blonde girl with her mother. The little girl smiled at me and I saw that one of teeth were missing.

The elevator beeped open and the girl and her mother walked out. Another floor and Ville and I would be in the garage or wherever the elevator lead to. It felt like forever since the elevator door beeped open and Ville put his hand on the small of my back to lead me to his car. Like a gentleman, he opened the door for with a cute smile on his face and went around to his door to get in.

"Rachel told me that you're a singer." I said, trying to break the not so awkward silence. He nodded. "You know, Rachel and I were headed to your concert when we were attacked. I never got to hear you sing."

"Are you trying to guilt me into singing?" He chuckled. I shrugged.

"Is it working?"

"Eh, not really. Maybe you should start begging." I laughed. I'm not a begger. I'm usually pretty good at making people feel so guilty that they'll do whatever I want them to do. "Does it work?"

"What?" I said, confused. Did I say that out loud?

"Guilty-ing people into getting them to do something. Does it work?" I must have said it out loud. Unless he's like Edward Cullen and can read my mind.

"I don't do it often. Just when I really need something."

"You need me to sing to you?" I felt my heart jump up into my throat when he looked at me sideways with a grin. The car slowed to a stop because of the stoplights. I didn't even realize we were driving yet. He moved his torso to face me but twisted around so he could reach into the back. He pulled out a pile of CD's. "If I'm not here and you need me to sing to you, just listen to these." I smiled as he handed me his bands CD's. I had wantd to ask him why he had his bands CD's in his car but I was too busy studying them.

I stopped when I came across a familiar song title. "Buried Alive By Love." It was like a ghost voice started to sing in my head the lyrics to this song. 'I carry the burden of losing rest upon my shoulders and it's weight seems unbearable. Your tomb is where your heart is, I should have told her. But it's within a secret so terrible...' 

Are they the lyrics? I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining things again. But that voice is so mesmerizing...

"Kaiden and Desdemona are lovely." Ville said, breaking me out of my reverie. "They look just like you." I smiled but frowned when I saw that we were at my house. I don't know why I'm frowning instead of feeling relieved. he saw my reaction and he looked a little smug. "We're here."

"Thanks for taking me home, and for the clothes and the books and the necklace." I smiled.

"Anytime." I started to open the door but Ville stopped me. "I'm going to walk you to your door. i don't want you falling over or anything. And relax for a couple of days, too."

He got out of his car and opened my door for me. He put his hand carefully on my shoulder and led me up his steps. The lump in my throat returned as we came to my door. I felt as if I on my first date again, nervous and a little awkward.

"Thanks again, Ville." I said with a shaky voice. He did not smile this time. He touched his hands to my cheek and with his other hand, he tuck back hair behind my ear. He felt soft and warm and gentle. I looked into his green eyes and saw more than just somebody who had a crush on me. he cared for me he...loved me possibly. I felt a magnetic pull towards him and I felt like we were somehow linked.

I pulled my face up to his and gently pressed my lips against his. I put my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer and deeper in the kiss. It felt like somebody kickstarted my heart. Electricity flowed through my veins and it felt amazing. I felt that Ville and I were one. I felt like we were tied to each other and I could never let go. I gasped on the inside and in my head. Something else, another wave of emotion, look me down under the water and drowned me in itself.

Love.

I was head over heels for him and it felt natural. I. Love. Ville. Valo. And it feels so good to admit that to myself. But do I love just him? Kyle's face and Gaspard face broke into my thoughts and doubt took over within a second. If...maybe I should give them a chance too.

Ville felt the change in my kiss and pulled away from me, gently. He was blushing and i knew that I probably was too. "I should go. You need rest." He was trying to refrain a smile. I nodded.  He kissed me once more and walked down the steps. I opened the door and closed it with a grin on my face.

                                                        ***
(I'm writing this part as if Brandy {me} is there but she still knows nothing about anyting that is really going on).

Gerard was waiting for Ville at the bottom of the steps. As soon as I walked into my house, Gerard emerged from the shadows and gave Ville a fright.

"Don't scare me like that." Ville said.

"I see that things are going well for you." Gerard grinned as he and Ville stood in front of Ville's car. "Do you think she loves you?"

"I don't know." Ville looked sad for a second, but his face went blank, almost furious in a way. "I think someone-a reaper-is slowly giving her her memories back." Gerard raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I gave her the heartagram necklace that Sofia gave her before she walked out of Brandy's life for a long time." He sighed. "She remembered Sofia."

"So?"

"She looked sad." Ville said, walking around to his car door. "I don't want her to remember those memories. They were so hard on her the first time. I can't stand to see her go through that again."

"But if she's getting her memories back, then she'll remember her love for you and you'll win. You'll get her back." Gerard followed Ville around the car.

"I know."

"Then whats the problem?"

"You didn't see the look in her eyes up there," he pointed to the my porch. "It's the same look she would always give me whenever she saw me before all of this happened. he loves me but she's confused and I know she's hurting and stressing. I don't want...I don't want her to go through all of the troubles our love gave her before." He sighed again and stared up at my house. "Maybe, I should just forfit the game. She doesn't need this."

"Are you crazy?!" Gerards voice had gotten higher. Ville shushed him. "Do you really want Gaspard to have her? He's psycho! He'll hurt her and the children! Do you remember your children, Ville? The beautiful little baby boy and girl that you dreamed about having since you were a kid. Well, you can have them. And you can have your wife back. You cannot just leave her." Gerard inhaled. "Can you imagine your life without her?" Ville shook his head no.

"But-"

"Can you imagine what she'd be like without you? What life she would live with that psychopathic reaper who could kill her if he gets bored with her?!"

"Gerard, I-"

"No, Ville, you listen to me. When you love someone, you never give up. And I know in my heart that you will not-cannot- give up on my best friend." Gerard took Ville's shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "Now, you have two choices," he said. "You can either be a pussy and leave her to die or you can win your wife and you children back." He paused. "What's your choice, Ville?"

to be continued...

Happy birthday, dearest Gerard!

Just to let you know, each year and each passing year, your birthday will be celebrated by you, your family, and your fans.

Thank you for letting us-the fans- be apart of your life. Thank you for singing for us, and with us and standing up for us when needed. Thank you for showing us who you are and who you are becoming in each album and in your life. Thank you for being one of our five saviors and one of the most inspirational men that I-and all of us- have grown to known. We all know that you, Gerard Arthur Way, will make a great father. Congradulations and a very Happy Birthday.

Love always,

Brandy a.k.a. Mikey ♥ And the rest of your millions of fans :D

Well it's about time my writers block went away. Well here's the next chapter, I hope you all like it.

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An annoying beeping sound rang throughout my ears. It was so familiar and my head felt like it was about to pop. Hospital, I'm in a hospital. Why do I feel like I've been to this hospital way too many times?

I groaned and my eyes fluttered open. The painful light filled my eyes and I felt almost blinded by it. I let my eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. My head felt so heavy on my shoulders that I thought it was going to fall off at any moment. There's a tube in my arm. Great.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Rachel said from somewhere in the room. I looked to my left and then to my right and found her sitting by the window. There was two car-seats with two of the worlds cutest babies sleeping in them. I smiled. My lips were chapped. "You've been out a while. No wonder they wanted to keep you here over night. So, yeah, we missed the concert but it's all good."

"What happened?" I asked even though I knew exactly what had happened. I saw Frank's face in my mind, saying my name in shear astonishment. His eyes were sad and he even looked guilty. And I remembered him as if he were a part of my life for the longest time. But yesterday morning, I didn't even know who he was. I remember freaking out and Frank trying to calm me down. He was pleading for me to come with him so he could explain but I refused. Rachel was coming with a few cops with her. He took a rock and hit me in the back of the head and everything went blank.

"That creeper dude attacked you. He must of hit you with something because dude, you were out cold." She sighed and took a swig of here Dr. Pepper.

"Are you okay?" I asked with a worried tone. Rachel smiled a little and nodded her head.

"I'm totally cool besides worrying for you. You seem to get yourself hurt a lot. You're like a magnet for danger, Cujo." She shook her head and laughed. "Remember at Nikki's sweet 16 when we were waiting to play laser tag and you got so excited that you feel backwards and got stuck behind that vending machine? I laughed so hard. And I'm still amazed that you actually fit behind a vending machine."

"Yeah, I remember we annoyed the hell out of the guy who was tryingto show us how to play laser tag too."

"Dude, you asked the stupidest questions! He said that we couldn't kill any of our teammates but you raised your head and asked 'Can we kill ourselves?' The whole room cracked up and that guy thought you were really ignorant." Both Rachel and I laughed at the same time and little Kaiden squirmed in his car seat.

"Brandy, I have something to tell you and please don't get mad at me." Rachel said as she got up from her seat by the window. She sat on the edge of my bed and played a little with the Dr. Pepper bottle.

"Please don't tell me that you flushed Kaiden down the toilet and you stole the neighbors kid to replace him." I grinned and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Okay, I would not do that. Well, maybe, but no, that's not it." She looked nervously at the door and then back at me. "I kind of told Kyle that you were in the hospital. He's getting coffee right now."

"Why would I be mad at you for that?"

"Well, I kind of told two other guys too." She sighed. "You see I ran into Ville when I went to go pick up Kaiden and Des from my moms house. Like, I went to get coffee first and he was there and we started talking. And he's really not a creeper at all. He wasn't stalking you. He was a friend of my friends and I told him to go find you earlier because I knew that you would like him. And then well," She sighed again. "Gaspard was there too and he heard everything. He's here too though I think he's kind of a creeper a little because you only met him twice and please tell me when to shut up because your silence is really creeping me out."

I glared at Rachel, burning her with my eyes. She grinned an innocent grin and slumped forward in a sad way. I exhaled, trying to calm myself down. "You could have told me about Ville before Kyle asked me out." I finally said.

"I know, I'm sorry. But I know you like both of them, though, that's good."

I shrugged. "Actually, I think I like all three. I mean, of course I like Ville and Kyle, but I think I kind of like Gaspard too. Like, he is kind of a creeper but he kind of seems....devoted...in a way. You know?" Rachel nodded and I continued. "I think, though I like them, that I'm kind of not really yet. I mean, I don't want to be away from Kaiden or Des for too long. They need me."

"I think," Rachel started to say. "I think you're right. Your kids do need you. But, I also think that Ville is willing to spend time with you and your kids. I think Kyle is too and possibly Gaspard. I think you should also give them a chance."

A knock came at the door and a very tall guy with black hair and mesmerizing green eyes came in. I sucked in my breath and smiled a tad bit. After him, a very tired Kyle came in and a very hyper Gaspard followed. This is so awkward.

"Hi." I said without exhaling. Ville walked forward with an innocent and kind expression on his face. He looked at Rachel for only a second and she nodded once.

"Um, hi." He smiled. "I got something for you." He said abruptly. He held out a back and I hesitated for only a second before I took it. The bag made a cringly sound as I opened and pulled out two books. City of Ashes and City of Glass by Cassnadra Clare. My face lit up automatically. I opened City of Ashes and a card fell out. I opened it. It was a Get Well Soon card with Snoopy on it. A strangely familiar looking necklace fell out onto my lap. It was a silver heartagram necklace that shined under bright lights. Flipping over, I noticed something engraved on the back. It read 'Drunk on shadows and lost in life, killing ourselves a kiss at a time. Devils dance as angels smile. Drunk on shadows and lost in life.' I was really amazed at how so many words fit on this little necklace.

And then something clicked inside my head. I saw something else, something strange. It was the same something that I felt when I saw Frankie. A memory that I never had, or did I have it before? I remember a park and Ville was at my side with his arm around my waist and his head on my shoulder. My heart was fluttering inside my chest like an excited butterfly trying to escape. I saw Sofia, older and just a little taller than I remember her, sitting on a bench. I ran over to her and sat next to her on the bench.

"I'll miss you." I had said to her.

"I'll miss you too," She said in a soft voice. "I'm sorry for what I did, Brandy. I wasn't thinking. I was thinking of you or the outcome of everything. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I sighed, grinning. "I understand completely." I glanced and chuckled at Ville who was sitting on a swing, watching us.

"It's really hard for me to find something to say to you," She said in a sad voice. "I keep expecting that I would be seeing you tomorrow and talking about whatever we coudl think of."

"I know, but I guess we don't have to say anything really. Not to be rude, but you're dead." Sofia laughed and nodded. "You have to go on into your afterlife, Sof. I don't want you to be stuck on this plain or whatever. You know how that is."

"I know," She sighed. "So is this goodbye then?"

"No, it's a 'I'll see you later' thing." We hugged and I had felt the need to not let go. But we did.

"I have something for you." She handed me a silver heartagram necklace and I gasped at the engravement that was on theback that I had never noticed before.

"I'll always remember you." I sobbed.

"Stop, you're going to make me cry," She sniffed. "Remember, it's not goodbye. It's a 'I'll see you later' thing. "She kissed me on the cheek and stood up. "I'll see you later. I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered as she left me sitting there. Ville walked over to me and rubbed by back as I cried. Sofia is gone. I started to play with the necklace but I remembered the engravement on the back. It read:

'Drunk on shadows and lost in life, killing ourselves a kiss at a time. Devils dance as angels smile. Drunk on shadows and lost in life.'

I snapped out of my strange reverie and looked up at Ville. He touched my cheek and wiped away the wetness on my face. "Sofia?" I said in a small gasp. He nodded. Rachel raised an eyebrow and Kyle was playing with Kaiden and Des who were now awake. I glanced at Gaspard who was furiously staring at Ville.

What the hell is going on?

to be continued...

I hate having writers block. It friggin' sucks >:(