Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin

I don't know why, but the internet has been depressing me these last couple of days. Like, I want to go online, but then I get depressed. Maybe I should go somewhere fun this weekend...?

Some chick on imeem keeps messaging me saying I'm a "fake" because my name is Brandy Way, and so is hers. She said, and I quote: "Look. I fucking hate fakes. Especially when I have to scourage the internet to find them. BrandyWay is fucking trademarked and copyrighted to me, okay? And if you say; "OH MY NAME'S BRANDY BLAH BLAH BLAH." Sure. Whatever. And we just so happen to have he SAME fucking name. The SAME god damn celebrity lust. The SAME interests and music tastes.... yeah. right.
> > Go fuck yourself and stop faking people."

I replied back, calmly, "I'm not faking anyone. That is truly my name. And if you message me again like this, I'll have to report you. I'm sorry if you're mad that you and I have the same name, but it doesn't mean that I'm "faking" you.
> Please do not message me again.
> Thank You."

I don't understand how one persons name can be trademarked to them when many people across the world have that same exact name. And just because I "lust" after Mikey doesn't mean that that is not my last name. And if she really wanted to get into it, I could ask her why then she is trademarking Mikey and Gerard's last name.

I really don't get these people. Honestly, it gets on my nerves that people mess age me like that on the internet because of my name. I can't help what my name is, unless I get it changed when I'm an adult WHICH I INTEND ON DOING. It really pisses me off, you know? There are a lot of other Brandy Way's on the internet. Not just me. Why not pick on them either? I mean seriously? What did I do besides get born into a name? Not my fault.

*sigh* Sorry for the rant. I just get so angry when people do that, you know what I'm saying?

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

While everyone is caught up in the tragic death of Michael Jackson, I thought that I'd give tribute to the beautiful and ever inspiring, Farrah Fawcett.

Farrah Fawcett, our own Charlie's Angel, was a true fighter. She fought to live long and to live a beautiful life like she had before she was diagnosed with cancer. She was an inspirational woman and was so brave to film her battle with cancer. And even though many people expected her to die, it is still a shock to see such a big pop culture icon like her pass on.

RIP Farrah Fawcett

RIP Michael Jackson

and RIP Ed McMahon

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

I haven't really been active with posting on here in like 5 days. Sorry about that, I've just been uber busy. Write now, I'm writing a novel and that's what I've been busy with mostly. I've been writing character resumes and outlining the book itself and it's taking me so long. Hahaha. But anyways, I start Summer School this week. It goes on for six weeks, so it's not that bad and I heard that it's easy too, which is good. It's going to be hard these six weeks with trying to write Heart, my novel and summer school, but I'll manage.

Anyways, how has everyone been? Anyone else been cursed with summer school? ANyone going somewhere fun for vacation?

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

Sorry I took FOREVER to post this. I am such a procrastinater, who evidently has too much to do anyways. But, Finals are over though I do have to go to summer school but it's all cool. lol. So, here's the next chapter and there's not much going on in it, I'm just spreading it out if you get what I mean, lol.

*****************************************************************************

KITSCH:

It's been a whole two weeks since the water gun fight and Char is still pissed at Jimmy for bringing the hose into the house and basically soaking everything. Usually, it takes her a day to get over Jimmy's antics but he may have gone a smidge too far this time. Thank God he hasn't done anything serious since then or Charisma probably would've exploded.

It's six right now, in the morning to be more specific and we have yet another group. I hate getting up this early even though I was already used to it before I even came here. I always used to get up for football practice and to work out. Sometimes Lautner and I will get up early to do the same thing but ever since the mute came, well, he hasn't spent much time with the rest of us. I find it funny that the girl won't talk and yet Lautner says that she tells him a lot. Like, does she write it down on her fancy dry-erase board or does Lautner have some amazing mind-reading power that we don't know anything about?

Sometimes when Lautner and Darla aren't around (they're usually in the garden) everyone else would talk about them. It's not talking behind their back, really, it's just...weird. Most of us don't believe that anything has happened to Darla anyway, well, at least nothing that bad. I mean, how can someone get buried alive and still be here? It's impossible...basically. And we all always get this off feeling about her. She creeps me out, I know that.

And she's always carrying that backpack around...

MARISA:

Everybody is all ready seated in their normal spots for group. Kitsch and I both are seated on the recliner next to Charisma while Emily and Jimmy are seated at the end of the couch with Rain and Ryan in the middle and Maryjane and Frank in the end. Across from Em and Jimmy are Delfina and Steven with Paija and Gabe next to them. Lautner and Darla are sitting in the recliner parallel from Char. Are they dating? Because I think they're dating and so does everyone else mostly. I mean, they spend every second of the day together (Lautner does all of the talking) and he even has Darla in the workout room with him while he's working out. Like, he put on thirty pounds of muscle in these past two weeks alone with her. How is that even possible? He's just as buff as that one friend of Jimmy's -I think his name is Matt, but yeah.

Anyhoo, Mark is supposed to come tomorrow and meet up with us and check up on things. He's been so busy with NCIS, so instead of coming every two weeks, he comes every month. I think it's going to be fun though because Mark is so awesome and even though he has gray hair, he's still pretty gorgeous. I wonder what he'll think of Darla when he sees her. Mark usually likes to talk to us and get a response back that doesn't take a minute to write down on a marker board.

I looked up at Lautner and Darla and find that nothing has changed with them. She's sitting next to him, with her legs thrown over his, looking so innocent and sweet while Lautner is all muscles, with his arm around her shoulders, looking so protective over her, it's not even funny. He barely even talks to us anymore, it's so weird.

"Good morning," Charisma said in her usual cheery voice; causing me to focus on her. "How are you guys?"

There were a few mumbles of "Good" or "Tired" in response to her question. Char rolled her eyes and quickly looked down at her clipboard, probably doing something teacher-like like roll or something.

"Well, you all know that Mark will be here tomorrow for the whole day, even group, and I'm not going to be all boring and go over rules and stuff. Not," she said, "that you don't need to follow the rules, because you do but I'm pretty sure you all know the rules by now. Anyway, for group today, I thought we would spend the hour writing a story."

"A story? But what if you're not a good writer?" Ryan asked, looking down at his hands.

"Ryan, you know as well as I do that you're a kick ass writer. But, for others who may not be, it's okay. Not everyone is good at writing a story."

Steven shifted in his seat and shifted Del along with him. "What does it have to be about?" He asked logically.

Charisma thought for a moment and quickly scribbled something down on her clipboard. "Well anything really. It can be about something you went through or a make believe story about elves making cookies or something." Char shrugged her shoulders for some reason before she took out fourteen notebooks and pens for each of us.

"Can we write a song? You know, a mini-story but with a tune?" Frank asked in a groggy voice. Instead of saying anything, Charisma just nodded and wrote something else down on her clipboard. I heard Ryan, Gabe, and Jimmy all go "Yes" under their breath while almost everyone else looked too tired to care. Well, everyone except Darla. She's already scribbling in the journal with Lautner watching her. Are they passing notes?

LAUTNER:

I've always been watching Darla write ever since she came here. Her hand-writing is so neat and she speaks perfect English. That's why when Charisma said we were going to write stories, she grinned. She was even more excited when Charisma said it could be about anything. I watched her scribble down the title and the first line of her story on the paper. "A Faeries Boon," it was called and I could only wonder what exactly it's going to be about.

"How long does the story have to be?" Kitsch asked as Marisa moved off of his lap so he could write. Charisma shrugged.

"Well, we're not going to present them today, so I guess it doesn't really matter." She bent her head over her clipboard again and started writing, yet again. Ever since that water gun fight they had two weeks ago, Charisma has been acting very strange.

"Well, when are we going to present them?" Delfina asked.

"Tomorrow." Char got up from her seat and beckoned Amy to her. They talked quietly for a moment before Amy took her spot on the recliner.

Suddenly, I felt a small tap on my shoulder and saw a white board with neat hand-writing in my face.

Aren't you going to write your story? It said. I smiled and shook my head at Darla. She raised her eyebrows.

"Not now," I told her. "I don't want to write it right now." She nodded her head, making her red curls bounce around her face. I can't help to wonder why she only communicates with me. I know it's a strange and random thought, but I've noticed that she only writes to me and not to anyone else. She barely even smiles at anyone else, which is odd because her whole face lights up when she smiles and that's only when we're together. I know there's basically nothing special about me. Or maybe it's because I've been nice to her ever since she came here. Not a lot of the others are very nice to her, which is odd too. Everyone is usually so nice, but not since Darla came here.

A few times during these last couple of weeks I heard everyone talk about Darla and I behind our backs. Mostly, they said mean things about Darla saying that's she's "creepy" and nothing happened to her. It pisses me off so much. They just don't understand her like I do. They don't understand me anymore either.

Finally the hour flew by and everyone left to go wherever it is they're going to go. I think Gabe and Paija are going back to the Jolly Trolley again. They've been going there every weekend and Paija always comes back with a new stuffed animal.

This time I tapped Darla on the shoulder and watched her look up at me through her long eyelashes. That alone was enough to make me smile at her. "I'm going to go workout," I said. "Do you wanna come with me?" Like I had expected, she nodded her head and smiled.

STEVEN:

Delfina and I went to the work out room after group today. She said that she wanted to watch me work out for some reason. Either it's because I look that good with my shirt off and sweaty or she's genuinely curious to see me work out, which is odd. Then again, Del is a little odd but that's what I mostly love about her. Her odd-ness.

I started off lifting weights, as usual, when Lautner and Miss Mute came in. Del and I caught the end of their conversation, or shall I say Lautner's conversation since he's the only one that talks.

"Maybe if you start warming up to them or talking or something, they won't be so...oh, hi guys. I didn't know anyone was in here." He said with Darla peering out from his protective arm. That girl is very creepy in her own, unique way. Lautner stood awkwardly at the door for a moment before he took mute girl's hand and led her to the treadmill. Del and I watched her write something on her board and Lautner grinned.

"I just felt like running today, that's why." He turned on the treadmill and started off with walking first, like he usually would.

Darla walked to the other side of the machine and sat next to Delfina. The weights and the treadmill are right next to each other so it didn't really seem odd. Lautner looked at Darla with a strange curiosity and smiled. I didn't really know why he smiled until I saw what the mute wrote on her board.

You should be an actor. It said. Lautner laughed and shook his head.

"Why do you think that?" He asked.

It took her a moment to write whatever it was down on the board.

Because you look like you should be an actor. Delfina smiled and laughed silently, looking up at me with her gorgeous brown eyes. She looked back at Darla who had written something else on that board of hers. She erased it before I could read it but Lautner's reply kind of gave whatever it was she wrote on it away.

"I don't really mind girls chasing after me," he said. "But they wouldn't the ones I want." Mute raised her eyebrows. Lautner smirked. "The only one I want chasing after me is you. And that really wouldn't be much of a chase since I'd probably just give myself to you."

"Awww, Lautner, that's so cute!" Delfina smiled and giggled a little before looking at me. "Why don't you ever say cute stuff like that to me?"

"I say cute stuff to you all the time," I set down the 15lbs weight and picked up the 25lbs. "He just says it in a cuter way than I do."

Del rolled her eyes at me but smirked. I could tell that she kind of felt a little awkward with Darla right next to her, not saying anything but just writing either on the white board or in the notebook that Charisma gave us. I haven't started my story yet, but I think I already know what it'll be about. A hard-headed guy who doesn't pay any attention or mind to anyone, until he met the beautiful, kind and smart girl that changed his world forever.

I think Delfina will like it.

I really am. And I really should post the 3rd chapter of Heart. But it will most likely be up by tonight because I still need to finish the last part and change a few things. At least finals are over. The only thing I have left to worry about is dear ol' summer school *mutters under breath*

As said by some random person who commented on my rant about Sofia and shit. I guess my "candy-coated drama" isn't all that exciting or worth it but it doesn't matter anyways. I actually hate drama and I guess I find comfort in writing my rants on here because all of you lovelies can understand the teenage drama that I go through because many of you have gone through it and still are going through it. Just because someone's "drama" doesn't seem important at the moment, it doesn't mean that someone else has to make a person feel bad about writing about it. You never know what other things that a person is going through besides the stuff they write about. You never know what a person is hiding underneath the mask they wear on a daily basis, even if you can't seem them in person, it doesn't mean that the mask doesn't exist on the internet as well.

What I'm trying to say right now is be respectful towards others. If someone says something bad to you, be the bigger person and ignore them and if they leave you a nasty message on the internet, delete it because it's not worth getting worked up over it. try to be courteous and respectful to other people even if their problems seem small and unimportant at the moment because you never know if that problem becomes to big for them to deal with.

Now that I'm finished with that, I must say that I'm sorry I haven't been on in two days. I had my sisters High School graduation on Wednesday and yesterday I saw Paramore, No Doubt and The Sounds in concert. I'll be updating Heart shortly, I just have to fix some glitches in my writing and I think I may have it up tomorrow or Sunday, it depends on how long i'm in the city tomorrow and when todays drama ends.

Anyhoosies, how are you guys? Anything new and exciting? Whatcha got planned for the summer? :)

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

Lol, how narcasstic is that?

Anyway, I have writers block AGAIN.

I really hate it, like, I know what to write, I just can't seem to get it down, you know?

UGH. Maybe it's because school ends this week and i have like a bajillion finals to study for and then I go to summer school in like a week or two and I'm stressing about that because it sucks majorly and yeah. *sigh*

I will bring thee "Heart" chp. 3 as soon as the pandemonium moves out of my mind.

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥

So yeah, today at church, the windows were open and there was a cat outside meowing and all you could hear besides the pastor was the cat meowing. So, after service, my moms boyfriend comes up to me and goes:

"Hey, Brandy, woof woof woof woof woof." And I turned around to him and said,

"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't speak man." And I walked away and my mom was on the ground laughing her ass off.

And then, when we dropped him off at his house, he got out of the car and went to my moms window to say goodbye and I looked at him and said, "Woof woof. What does that translate into?" And my mom just died again. It was histarical.

But, I'm going to the June Fete today XD

I'm so excited. I haven't been there in years!

Hope you lovelies have a lovely rest of the weekend!

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey♥♥

Okay, here's the deal. Yesterday I totally like lost it in school and my mental state is kind of...off and today one of my guy friends asked me out today at lunch and like it's the worst time ever for me, you know? Like, I don't like him like that anymore. I haven't liked him like that in like three years and I like three other people that aren't him but one of the three I am really in like with them and my friend said not to wait for him, but I just can't not like wait, you know? Like, I'll probably give up by next year and I really don't want to break my friends heart. But I'm just not ready right now for it and I'm so confused. I don't know what to say because I never wanted to be the girl to break someone's heart, you know? Because, I'm overly sensitive to other peoples feelings and if they're sad, I'm sad. And UGH.

Help? Any advice?

As soon as things actually start to look up for me, there is always that one person (or today, two people) who have to bring everything the fuck down.

Okay, so today started off pretty good for a Tuesday (which are never good for me) even though I've been depressed lately because I miss one of my best friends who spends most of her time with her boyfriend. And up until fourth period, things were spiffy. Yeah, so at fourth period, after spending most of it at the library with Eryn printing out pictures, we go back to Cafe B and Sofia is there. And my reaction, as always, is YAY! And I'm so excited to see Sofia because I rarely get to see her anymore and have an actual conversation with her. So me and her start talking and I tell her about the nightmare I had about me and her not being friends and she said, "I'll always be your friend," but her facial expression looked so doubtful. And then I tell her that Gerard and LynZ had the baby and she starts making all of these comments like WTF? Usually, Sofia would watch what she says about MCR around me (not because I go psycho on anyone who hates them, but because I really care for the guys because they saved my life) and today she was like, "Oh, Deirdre and I hate them with a passion," and "Deirdre doesn't like them anymore because I got her into good music," and "Ew, Gerard is copying off of Kurt Cobain" (yeah, the last one made me look at her like WTF). And she's been so cocky and arrogant towards everyone since she starteddating her boyfriend. And at first, I thought they were so cute together but he's so possessive over her it's ot even funny. The only time I get to see her now is when he's not at school or when she feels guilty. I'm losing my best friend and it hurts so bad. I couldn't think straight all day because of it. I'm so used to seeing Sofia everyday and talking to her and telling her my problems ang getting advice from her and vice versa. Now, I just get a glimpse of her in the hallway. Sometimes a hello. I miss her so much but I know if they break up, that she's going to get hurt and I'll always be there for her, but I think I'm losing my trust in her and I might not be there all the way if she ever gets back, you know?

And then, oh and then, when I get home my sister starts drama. OVER A DAMN BOY.AGAIN. It pisses me off that she always picks the jackasses and then she goes "Oh, I'm so in love with him." When they've only been out on a few dates. And guess where my sister is now? At the hospital. Why? Because the asshole decides to get back with his ex (her ex-best friend) while they're still dating. She flipped and OD'd. She threw most of it back up but my mom called Poison Control and they told her to go to the hospital. Honestly, I'm fed pu with everything. This isn't good for me, my mom, my little sister, and anyone who dares to get too close to us (not that I'm horrible or a drama magnet even though I sometimes think I am). I just really can't wait till High School is over and I can move to Finland and live happily ever after.

Fuck. I can't even finish my fucking take home geometry test. Lucky for me I missed most of the stuff because I was sick or there were no days of school.

I'm in Chemistry right now on the school laptops. I finished the tutorial we took so I thought I'd say, "HI!!!!! How are you guys?"

xoxo Brandy a.k.a. Mikey